I have reached the a point in my life where certain patterns have repeated themselves. These patterns once thought under control have so gone out of control that the pattern is now a real relative in my life. This pattern at first was just bad emotional output on my part, then the second time occurred and its all the same all over again the exact same way it ended the last time. The last time I lost two very dear things close to me and now I have no chance of ever seeing them again due to my own stupid decision. This time the thing […]
Dear Reader,
My Grandpa committed suicide when he was 75 years old. He took his life in 2005, and my Dad found him. My Father. found. him! I, a 15 year old, watched as my Dad crumbled into a million pieces, literally broke down. A 6’3″ italian goomba fell to his knees in pain over the loss of his own father. My grandma was frozen in shock, numb to the fact her husband (going on 50 years) was no longer coming home after work, or bringing her white daisy’s on Sundays, or laughing to get her to smile. He was gone. Forever.
My grandpa had three beautiful […]
One score years ago a baby was born. 20 years later he lives in misery. 20 years later his life is hopeless. I have come to the end. I have a plan. I will drive down to see her this summer one last time. If things do not work out, I will end it, gun to the head. I’m not afraid now. I’ll be free at last.
I’m sick of it all!! The world leaders and the stupidity, the difficulty dealing with my own stupidity and my past. I love my children; I do and people care for me but they care more about me than I do. I’m jealous of all those who have died already however they died. I have lost those closest to me except for my girls who are probably the only reason I wake up. I cry all the time. I’m stressed and have thought of more ways to die than the Mayan long count calender has days! I don’t want to die because i BELIEVE life […]
i’m sorry about what you all are going through. i’ve had a horrible uncurable mental illness for years.  my life has been pretty cruel. i was subjected to a hate crime that was pretty  much endless. i was happy once but i cannot find it again. my illness is very very cruel, l live with it everyday.  its very painful and hurts me very badly and i also believe i’m going to hell when i die. i’m not a religious person but this world was very harmful. we should believe that life was not supposed to be so HARMFUL to people but it was. i […]
having these strange “visions” popping up in my head. i see myself floating face down in the river. i see myself with a gun shot wound. i see myself at my funeral. all of these images are just coming in it seems at random. i am not consciously thinking about suicide. but apparently some part of me is. the interesting part is that i am not afraid of these thoughts. i am not upset by them. they are just there. potential outcomes. seems odd that these thoughts have become mundane almost. nothing new under the sun. so what, who cares? maybe i am just becoming […]
havent been on in ages…stopped wanting to talk about things.
i just wanted to suggest a facebook page i just became an admin on. “For the unloved” is for people who feel unwanted, or like nobody cares. For people who need to talk, or rant, or rage. Please like our page.
I, like most people here, am looking for answers that we all know don’t exist. Â Despite that we all continue, we push on with blind faith, hoping, wishing, praying that the answers will just suddenly appear before us. Â But I have lost my faith and hope and my wishes and prayers go without response.
I am now 45, and I have been struggling with depression ever since I was 17. Â It has been a long and exhausting trip. Â It has caused me to lose all of my friends, resulted in me being hospitalized for a total of 3 months between high school and college. Â Â And […]
Right now, the only thing that’s keeping me alive is the fact that any kind of suicide attempt has a potentially devastating chance of failure. Pills, guns, jumping… everything terrifies me. I keep having flashes of how disastrously each kind of attempt could go, and I don’t have the courage to try any of them. I wish I was less scared of pain. I thought pills would work for a while. I thought sleeping pills would put you to sleep and then kill you gently in your sleep! Can you believe how naive I was? Then I read about how they make you puke, and […]
Hi everyone,
I’ve read most of your stories, and they’ve made me quiver. Your life should never be thought as negative. You were put on this earth for a reason. If you say you’re not loved, you’re wrong. So many people have the biggest hearts and would love to get to know you if you allowe yourself to open up. I know you have been hurt by someone in the past that allows you to put a wall up, but being vulnerable is a beautiful thing. It allows you to feel something, rather than nothing. Even if it feels like you’re not worth something, you are worth […]
I climb the walls of my mind just like I’m climbing
On the jungle gym.
I am more than content with the
State of mind I am in.
’cause I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy just like you.
I don’t think I need a rubber room, but that might be nice.
I’m not a manic depressive paranoid or schizophrenic
So I don’t need your advice.
I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy just like you.
The lights are on but nobody’s home
My elevator doesn’t go to the top
I’m not playing with a full deck I’ve lost my marbles.
I think it’s about time. There are people I love and were talking to – I wanted to talk to – but not anymore. I have nothing more to say.
My therapist called the police on me today. Rather than talk with me about whatever the fuck she thought they would do she just sends them over. I was shaking. Did she think I would tell them? Did she think they could do something? What? Nothing unless I would have said I was going to kill myself. They asked if I just wanted attention. That sounded good so, yeah, sure. If it would get […]
he wakes up after an hour of sleep to the screams of something else he didnt do he cant sleep at night because memories are so fresh in his mind of a life destroyed by abandonment and drugs but the drugs are a crutch now without them you feel worse more hopeless then before and it seems like suicide is a viable option..maybe it is..everyone you talk to thinks you want attention because they are to blind or to stupid to see the pain really felt..he feels lost in the world and he has given up hope
Last night I had the strangest dream I’ve ever known before
I dreamed that all the world agreed to put an end to war
I dreamed I saw a mighty room, the room was filled with men
And the papers they were signing said they’d never fight again
And when the papers were all signed, and a million copies made
They all shook hands and bowed their heads and grateful prayers were prayed
And the people in the streets below were dancing round and round
While swords and guns and uniforms lay scattered on the ground
Last night I had the strangest dream I’ve ever known before
Its the sadness and anxiety I can’t overcome. The overwhelming feeling of loss and abandonment. I don’t know what to do. All I want to do is eat a gun. I want him back so bad but he still needs time to think things through. It’s hard not kissing him and touching him. He doesn’t want me. I feel so empty so defeated. It’s a pain I’ve never felt before and I don’t recommend it to anyone. It’s like a piece of me has been taken away and no matter how hard I try I can’t get it back. It sucks. I feel like shit. […]
hey
i’ve just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder
and i tried to od on anti depression pill
i failed the interview exam for university my mom expect
before all this things
i had been a good daughter good student
i went to the best prep school in my country
now i’ve just all alone in my room for a month
while all my friend being a freshman and succesful
i’ve just recover from anorexia and i binge everyday
now iam so fat and dont want to see my old friends
i really missed them 🙁
She woke up today feeling happy till she heard the screeching of her mothers voice. She had overslept. The kids were not ready for school and she did not have breakfast ready. She was so tired from the night before from having to meet two men.
She slowly got out of bed afraid of what her mother would do when she saw her. She raced quickly getting the small children up and on the bus. As they left she slipped the money onto the piano for her mother, knowing she was expecting it. She found it not quite fair that she had to sneak out of the house […]
Its sad when the best part of your life is falling asleep…
I can’t find pleasure in anything anymore. I was
born a fuck up, and by my mid teens I was in lots of trouble. I tried so hard to piece my life together, and managed to become moderately successful. Now, 26, employed and financially stable, I don’t know why I’ve kept going this long.
I don’t want medication. Sex made me happy for awhile, I’ve done things with women that excited me. That’s about the only thing that I can even get minimally happy for, but I lose interest in my partners, who I generally enjoy submissive.
Every night I go out to my cottage, play the […]
I’m 15. At this age, most people have lots of close friends and go out every weekend and have a shitload of fun.
Then there’s me.
I feel so lonely and I can’t shake this feeling. I have some friends in school, but no one I actually go out with. I used to have three best friends, now I only have one.
My best friend left me. He was the one that said he’d never let me go. I don’t even think he realises how much I need him by my side. I can’t live without him, he was always the one that saved me.
I […]