Everybody assumes that I want to commit suicide for attention. I couldn’t care less about attention. I just feel so lost. And when I do go people will question why I did. It’s a sick world
best time to die home alone …..need to fighting it dont going in the kitchen or upstairs NOT gnna give in
I’ve been unemployed for years. I’m almost 33 years old and I have to depend on my parents for food and a place to live. I have no real skills and no hope of obtaining a stable job or restarting a career. Every day I wake up is a reminder of how worthless I am and how little I have to offer compared to other people. There are people in my life who love and care for me, but they don’t understand how much it hurts to be an utter failure. No matter what I try and do to make things better, I’m met with […]
wake up.
and come out from your dream
wake up.
and visit reality.
wake up.
life is meant for living
wake up.
but I am meant for dying.
wake up!
this world shuns all the dreamers.
Wake up!!
There’s nothing for me here.
WAKE UP!!!
up from reality…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess i’ll conform to tough,
but reality is rough.
and to be honest hun,
i’ve almost had enough.
No, stay strong
you’ll make it through.
No, don’t go.
We all love you.
You say so many silly things.
none of which i’ll believe.
No, your diamond in the rough!
you’ll see!
No, I know you can […]
I was thinking of memories of the past. All the friends I never really had, and all the people that left me. I would give anything to return to then, even though it was shit, it was better. At least I couldn’t see that my friends were being decided by my parents, or that the school lunchtime supervisors were told to spy on me, or that I had been manipulated to want certain things and go to certain schools. No, I couldn’t see any of that. I even still believed my parents cared about me then. Ignorance really is bliss.
The first time I tried to kill myself was on November 3rd 2012.
I was friends with this girl Tori, and then one day, for no reason I know of, she changed. She hated me. I didn’t know what I did. But that week after she changed was hell for me. She called me things, made fun of me, tripped me, hit me. And on that day, I’d had enough. When I get on the bus, I instantly regretted it. It’s like I could feel that I was going to go home and kill myself. My bus stop is the first one, right before hers. When […]
I was just going through my old pictures when I stumbled across my pictures from 2009 summer pictures. I didn’t think anything of it until I found the pictures of my friends. We spent basically the whole summer together. It made my chest hurt, just seeing my smile and all of my friends together. We haven’t really been like that since our friend Andrew killed himself.
We had our little “gang.” four girls, four guys. There was me, Kelsey, Anna, Shiney(real name), Max, Henry, Andrew, and Toby.
We were always happy and having fun. Then, when Andrew killed himself last June, it was like a piece was […]
I wont even know how to describe it. All those ways how I was acting made me feel extremely embarassed about myself. I thought I was missing out on a lot, and I tried to catch up. But instead I was making a fool out of myself. After we stopped talking, I tried to fit in, but it would only lead me to feeling more embarassed. I never cared about the future, but now I pretty much began disregarding the flow of time. It became scary for me to leave the house. I was getting progressively depressed and anxious. I tried therapy, but I never […]
My mother is the most rude, annoying, bitchy, stupid, uncaring, unlovable person I’ve ever met. I swear she’s most of the reasons I want to die. It’s like there’s nothing I can do to make her happy. I try so hard to do the best I can, and it’s never enough. Since I moved here seven years I’ve been on all the honor roles, gotten almost all A’s, and never done anything bad but a smoked a couple of joints now and then. And she doesn’t even know about that.
God, I just hate her so much. A child shouldn’t hate their parent this much. It’s […]
Don’t really know where to begin or what to say. I’m an empty shell of a man who wants nothing more than to just die. I hurt so bad inside my head each day and all anyone says is go on, move on, forget. How do you move on from 6 years? How do you forget a family that was your entire life? I have access to all the Argon one could ever wish for at my work. I don’t make enough for Helium or ********. Hopefulky I can get all my letters done this week. So far I got my will, POA and car […]
i’m 21 with no family, i’m a dropout, no job, no license, no car, warrants, overweight, gynecomastia, ingrown toenail, extreme back pain, no insurance, girlfriend that i fucking hate(we hate each other) we argue every fucking day nonstop, and nowhere else to go. ending it feels like the only option.
I tried staying, but it felt that you were the one pushing me away. then you say i left when we both know you never wanted me there. I tried fighting for you but maybe it wasn’t worth it. I wasted all my time on you, and now I regret it. funny how you’re the broken one but i was the one who needed the saving. im done trying to stay and fight cause all you will ever do is push me away.
I was born on December 16th 1998 into a loving supportive family, I don’t know how I ended up like this.
My mother was a tattoo artist, and my father a truck driver. They were too busy when I was a child to take care of me, so I had to go to daycare. The first time I was called a bad name was in that daycare. Ever since that day I’ve never forgotten everything I’ve ever been called. And that was also when the nightmares started. I don’t know if they were interconnected, or whether I just made it all up to get over it, […]
I have reached a point where life has no meaning.
In fact, this moment has been long in the making and all too obvious in it’s approach, but there was nothing I could do to stop it, because it is me. My apathy, my detachment from life has finally reached a peak and there is simply no motivation or efficacy left within me. I have never cared for people. I don’t need them, don’t particularly care for them, and often I have wondered what happened for this to come about. Perhaps the rise of narcissism. For if anything I can admit that I am selfish. Or […]
Man, I screw everything up. I finally had someone to talk to, and I was much too honest. I just said how I really felt, but I barely know her, and it isn’t her problem. I feel so stupid. Depression is so venomous, and everything I touch is poisoned. I feel like I can’t tell anyone on this planet, except people on this site, how I really feel. They just can’t take it. I get that though. Clearly, I’m about at the end of my rope with it. Just the moment I gain some hope, I screw it up again and want to die even […]
I came across this blog one night when I was at one of my worst moments.. I was looking for ways to end everything without leaving much evidence.. I read some of the blogs and I just felt like for the first time in my life this is somewhere I could fit in.. somewhere that people would understand what I am going through. I guess I’ll start off by telling how I grew up..
My parents divorced when I was two. My mom left us for a man that was abusive towards her.. he never wanted her to spend time with me and my brother.. […]
So close to my death, it’s unreal.
I’m nervous.
Only a few days now.
This is it.
(sorry for my english, I’m Chilean)
“Throughout my childhood I longed only to be loved. Every day I thought about how to take my life, but, at heart, she was already dead. Only pride saved me. ” – Coco Chanel
since i have my fresh memory i loved and still loving fashion but that’s isn’t the point.. everybody says that being perseverant made genious or people like that… well you understand me
sometime for me is difficult think i may become a perosn like them.. for me that times are past and maybe there’s no more people like them..
i think i can’t be like them…