i feel so lonely right now. im 18, and my mom kicked me out in august. i now live with my stepgrander that actually took care of me most of my young life. i didnt even really live with my mom until i was 7. my mom was an alocolic. i was told i didnt even want to go see her. my mom,i cant get ahold of her for last few days because i want to see my sister. it hurts, she turned 7 the 8th i didnt see or hear from her. i feel that my mom is doing it on purpose so i […]
when subjected to huge amounts of pain, nerves go numb, bodies go into shock and consciousness shuts down. Mental pain, on the other hand, never lets up. It piles on thicker, higher, heavier each day and there is no relief. Screw fire & brimstone. If I were to design hell for the worst criminals and worthless souls to be or tired with unspeakable agony, it would be exactly my life. Which begs the question: what did I ever do to deserve this?
No wonder i felt like dying when you left..i am now begining to understand what it means to say i cant do without you..but there is a place in my heart were i ll keep all the memories of our time together.i know its going to be painfull recalling them.but i am ok with this kind of pain.i am ok with any pain you cause me..I LL KEEP YOU.here..luv ya 4eva
Everything is over in my life to me. Nothing is happiness, hope everyone reads this. I love you all. I love reading your posts. I just want to give you all a big hug. Ket you know everything gets better. Hopefully it does for me. Stay strong guys. Good luck:)
If I was to cut myself up and die that would be suicide… Yes.. Hanging.. Yes.. Suffocating myself.. Yes.. But what if I stopped taking my asthma and blood pressure meds?.. Would that be a careless accident or would I be tarnished with the suicide brush?..
I’m currently stuck in hospital, not sure when ill be released but they’ve kept me in here for 3 months before. I can’t wait any longer to do this so I’m just going to do it in here. problem is I’m a wimp with pain so want to do it as painlessly as possible. Not to mention the lack of things I could use to CTB with. my plan is to use the exit bag with valium (diazapam).
My question is, how much diazapam do I need? I don’t want to puke just lose consciousness. I’m going to start hoarding it and think I can […]
Right now, things seem to be getting better. I’m able to go on without my razor as much, I can enjoy music like I used to, laugh purely because I want to, not feel that pain that can’t be explained somewhere within my heart…
But that will all change when school starts again. When I have to rejoin the real world, and see it for what it is. When it presses itself against my face – when reality comes back to wake me from my dreamworld that I created to protect myself – It will all be as it were. I’ll be cutting again, empty, emotionless […]
give me a break god, just take me in the next hour prior to waking up for work. please lord. amen.
I’ve been living the life of a sheep for years, being pushed around and told what to do by people above me, following orders and doing the same thing day in day out. I’ve tried to make friends and I’ve tried to become a better person so people will like me, but none of that ever works. Â It’s been 6 years since I first self harmed, and the rush I got from it was nice, it made me realise that we’re not made of glass, our bodies will repair. So I carried on, more and more, each time someone said something nasty or I was […]
I have lived a sinful 18 years and i fear hell, its gotten to the point where I dont think I am going to change (It’s kind of too late). At first I was focusing on trying to have a good life but i dont care about my life anymore i have no hopes or dreams. All i care about is what happens when i die. Now I know alot of people dont believe in god but im pretty sure he does exist and i dont want to argue that. Bottom line is every now and then i think about hell and its painful and […]
I want to run away from home, please give me some advices.
bad day at work. i know that everyone has a bad day but why do they have to be mean and take it out on those around them. anyways, i walked out, trying to avoid the situation. it wouldn’t have been as bad if it weren’t for that fact that as i was walking down the hall i overheard them saying my name. i slowed down just before i turned the corner and listened. they were making fun of my scars. i know it’s my fault for doing those things to myself. it’s my fault for placing them there, up and down my arms and […]
Well I don’tknow what to say or where to start, but I guess just letting it all out is a start, so here it goes. I’m a 22 year old female and at the age of 22 I never knew I would of felt the amount of pain as I have this past few years. Past few weeks all I been thinking about is sucide, why should I go on? I can barley handle the pain because of this depression its like a disease that will never go away from the feel of it. I been thinking of different ways to do it overdosing, jumping […]
What it was like to be in the light–
What it was like to warrior through the fields
and feel the earth with your bare feet
I am one with you, dead soldier
and beyond
where we came from
this earthly designation
where our soul’s incarnate
and now we leave
to a better housing
and more justified, indeed.
I guess I’m going to be a regular to this site now. Hello, whoever’s reading this. You’re pain has become my drug. Your pain is softer than my own. I found this site about a week ago, and I just keep coming back. During school at break, at work when I have a minute… and now, when I have to wake up early and go to school tomorrow. I lay in my bed, poised to hide my laptop should my parents walk down the hall. I am here once more. Reading, and commenting, and now posting.
You’re pain is distracting to me. I hope to do […]
She was such a lovely girl, always smiling and laughing, never without a friend. Until she left.
It started like a typical morning for her. the screamo waking her up in the morning she started her routine. getting her uniform on, then putting her hair in a bun, then her makeup. She turned off the music and went upstairs. 6:38 read the clock, time for her to go to the bus stop. She sneaked into her parents room and said goodbye to her mom. Then she went out the door. But not before putting an object that would change her life later in the day. […]
I’m new to this website. As I was reading through some posts, I realized that many people are troubled just like me, and most have probably hid it from the surfaces of their lives and instead wrote it on here, anonymously. All I can say is that I am truly sorry for each and every one of those people. I can’t say that I know how you feel because every situation is different.
I’ve kept my story in the closet for three years now. No one has ever known what I went through. I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to come to terms with it all and admit everything that went […]
To get up, and just keep on going through the day. How do some people do it? Where I’m from, they mostly do it by smoking, drinking, or shoving pills or drugs through their veins. They laugh at those who do good with their life, and invite the ones who are just as bad as themselves.
There’s this one girl in my class. I won’t give her real name, so let’s call her Ashley. I’ve known Ashley for quite a while, back in elementary school. She was a carefree brunette. She was a tomboy back then, always bringing me about the playground to play, when all […]
I Told Them I’d Stop Cutting Myself And I Still Do. I Promised Them I Wouldn’t End My Life But That’s What’s Always On My Mind. I Thought Things Were Gonna Get Better. I Refuse To Go To Therapy And I Refuse To Tell Anyone My Depressed Self Because Of What Happened Monday. Â This Should Be The End.
Yes, that’s what my mother struggled to rub in me yesterday. All because I left my university without her goddamn permission in the midterm. I found a job, she wouldn’t let me work. She claims that I’m living in a kind of faitytale. She wants me to study, study, study… I’m so sick of it. I’m in for a fuckload of problems now. She is running out of money. I am running out of patience. Having to wait for another half-year to be able to work in the summer and pick up the fucking money I need to buy a gun. If I make a […]