I see him everywhere I go .  I just want someone to show me they can love me and be with me for along time . Tierd of these excuses. A girl can only cry so much . Please guys help my heart to heal ….. Email me ……hneblo@rocketmail.com… Txt me ,,,. 803-465-3633…

Ever since I was little I dreamed of my prince charming.

Now I’ve found him and he can’t love me due to the curse of broken trust.

This Cinderella story has become an unrequited version of Romeo and Juliet.

Unable to trust, he will die alone, and so shall the one that loves him.

So with this broken heart I’ll drink your poision to set you free.

So I have decided to start a progress journal that I shall update on here.

Everyday I hope to post what I tried to make better and how I conquered my fears.

Today I did a presentation to my digital media and design class on a business plan we had to formulate for some random business idea. I had to get over my stage fright and just do the presentation. It was awesome, once I got started I was away and I forgot about all my fears.

I also did some corrective writing today, I have very bad hand writing, because I am a coder. So I decided to start spending […]

I feel like a lost cause i keep crying and my mom keeps saying its ok to be happy meaning dont or stop crying and so does my dad and my counler no one understands i just wanna put myself out of missery i feel its the right thing to do

Hi this is my 1st post so i guess i will just tell the story i got bullied for bing bisexual such as geting things thrown at me and saying i was goin to hell then i fell in love for the first time with a girl  and  we had something together and she had problems and called me up 1 night and  said lilly i just took alot of pills and ima kill myself (short version) and then i was depressed she didnt acheive the goal but her family dosnt like me brcause i tryed to protect her and cussed out her mom so […]

I wonder why I still come to this site, I feel I am draw back to it everyday and I don’t know why. Why does this place mean so much to me.

I guess it doesn’t matter.

All I know is am fucked up. I know I am and I can admit it. I finished all my work on Friday and all I did was play games for the weekend. I just sat in my apartment and played m+b for 12 hours Saturday and Sunday.

It then dawned on me this morning that I am wasting my life. When I play games its interactive yes but it is not real. It does […]

I am sick of it; I am sick of people. I can not stand the mind games involved with relationships.  No one acts in consistent manner. I need stasis. I want a person who is the same regardless of the way I might feel.

I know I keep posting about my exboyfriends and I’m sorry, but its all been adding to my depressioN soooooo much

how do  you  convince your self of something? Like you know that something  is the right answer.. But you just don’t believe it.

i know it is best and that I’m not suppose to be with Travis anymore, but I can’t stop wanting him.. Needing him.

any suggestions? Please share them with me!!!!

I’m trying to adopt a state of mind that centers around human experience; something realistic, rather than negative or positive. Something beyond that simplistic dichotomy. Emotions exist; sadness is no less real than happiness; happiness is no less real than sadness. Pain is no less real than pleasure, and vice versa, and what one might want to describe as “bad,” is not necessarily so. It simply is.

Maybe I should convert to Buddhism.

Anyone know any good monastic sects in the midwest United States?

That’s a joke, by the way. I dislike organized religion. I don’t enjoy having to accept uncertainty, but I dislike blind certainty just as […]

I wanna give up. I cant go on. I always thought I am smarter than that, but everything seems to fail me. Is it too late, can someone stop me! I am not sure if I want to kill myself or not………..!!! Am scared!!!

It’s 9:48 AM and all I remember from last night was me sitting in my room, crying, and contemplating death. I remember me sitting there on my bed looking at the pile of pills calling my name. I sometimes think that I think to much, but maybe I don’t, maybe I think about the bad stuff to much. I decided that I should start thinking about everything positive in my life. There are people out there dealing with way bigger problems than mine. Some people are dealing with cancer, somebody’s parents died, they’re brother or sister died, and some people are starving. My life is […]

I thought today would be a good day. It’s not really looking that way though. I almost cut. I was in the shower and I had the razor in my hand and I was staring at my wrist. I was so close to doing it but I did not.

I hate myself because my emotions are out of my control.

I just spent the whole day at work sittin oan my arse at my desk silently greetin’ to myself. Trying to hide the tears from my boss and getting absolutely nae work done! There really was no point getting out of bed this morning!

I couldn’t take my mind off the abortion, and what’s more the radio kept on debating about it and it’s bloody morality!

It wis a right nightmare o’ a day so now i’m goin tae the shop getting myself some cold beer and drinking the rest ah the day away!

I’m sick fed up o feelin like this i just go from […]

I cut myself for the first time last night. 7 times with a pair of scissors because I didn’t have a razor blade. As much as it pains me to say this, it actually made me feel better.

I guess what makes for the best dark comedies is the twist that no one sees coming, right?

So, here I am about to take the pills I have been able to amass when I receive some good news. An advocate is going to assist me in the legal action that I am trying to bring against my brother for sexually abusing me before I was 7! This makes me happy. Someone is actually willing to give me a small hand with this shit. Be a buffer with the police, so that I don’t have to keep reliving it over and over again. Although this is […]

This is what could, as you would say “break the camel’s back”. I may have lost someone I considered a brother, but I could lose the only closest person after him… My sister (not related).

My sister and I have been close friends for close to about six years. We have spent so much time together and told each other many secrets. Even though I still act somewhat paranoid around her, I know she still cares for me and we love each other very much. It was only recently did we start talking again since there was a break in our education that allowed up free […]

It is very informative. We cannot discuss ways in which we are going to do it, but I already know which one to take; however, it takes much planning and I dont want to mess it up.

Ts her birthday. I’m in school with her all fucking day. Stuck seeing him and her holding hands ands kissing.. He should be kissing me. Holding my hand. Not hers.

In a good mood other than her being here and her being with him..

yes I am the jealouse type, and I know that. So no one needs to tell me

Happy fucking  birthday you little **** ***** morgan

Why I am so paranoid…

Why I refuse to make new friends…

Why I always hide what I feel behind tongues…

Why I think the worst of people whom I had never met…

Why I never get close to anyone…

Well, I will tell you.. But only once for my memory isn’t the best and reliving what had happened only scars me even more…

He was there for me. He wasn’t my significant other or anything, in fact he was more of a big brother to me. You see I used to have an older brother, but he passed away due to cancer.. After many years of not having and older […]