I just feel so weak, all the time. I hate everything.
the bright sun
the sand shines
rough against my feet
i find shells in peices and make a frankenstein of shells
frankenstein who lives in my castle of wet sand
my plastic shovel is so red against the blue of the ocean
so red
i run at the waves who retreat from me
i am so brave
i run from the waves as they come back with a thrill
they crash as i fall and laugh
i beat them just in time
the sky is white and stings my eyes i raise my hand for shade
i see the blue and the floating puffy cotton
my fathers voice and it is time to go
the night comes
a dark quilt of fields and trees […]
well i know my friends okay. physically. and for now. the next few weeks will be really hard.. but hopefully we will all get through it.. but now i only have to worry about how she handles everything, and what she does day to day.. i will have to be patient and make sure that she knows im here..
I just can’t take my family anymore… I am tired of being treated like shit and everything else. It feels like I don’t belong anymore. Most people don’t understand what I am going through and say that I’m complaining. If you lived my life, you would sound like me, too. My sister is 14 and beats on me whenever I don’t do what she says when I am the older sister and says shit to me that she knows will hurt me. I may be older, but I have really bad depression, so I really can’t help it. I wish that I could. And then […]
I am so sick of my life i hate feeling so trapped and like the life has been sucked out of me i feel like i am a walking zombie most of the time its like my only emotion is sadness. I am trying my best too stop the cutting *which i have not done in 2 weeks*Â i do not even remember what its like to be truely happy anymore i honestly have just stopped caring about everything. Everything just seems too feel so black and white i can’t live with myself. I hate being bullied i hate feeling the way i do i […]
This is my fucking body. I can do whatever I want with it, its none of yours business. You don’t get the right to tell me the cutting is harmful, or drugs are bad. Odds are, I know a hell of a lot more about self harm then you do, because I experience the effects of it everyday. I do it because it makes me feel good. Who are you to take that away from me? Tell me, do you know what its like to live through depression? I’m SO TIRED of people telling me how to govern my own life. So next time you […]
“I have been getting treatment and have been really positive about it”
“You’re demonstrating black and white thinking and seeing this as all good.”
“Treatment is hard and sometimes it makes me emotionally tired and depressed”
“No one said it was going to be easy. You’re seeing things in black and white and this as all bad.”
“Granted, receiving treatment has done things that made me feel hurt, it does good things.”
“Now you’re splitting, there is something wrong with you.”
“I feel like you have put me in a catch-22.”
“You just want me to tell you what you want to hear.”
“I think […]
Alicia,
Sometimes going on without you is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I do it. You have no idea how much I miss you Alicia, no idea whatsoever. We were so young and naïve, nothing and no one could bring us down or put fear in our hearts but then I lost you and I found a fear like I have never known. When Paul pulled that trigger, he took away one of the best parts of me, you. Leesh, you were my best friend, my sister, my partner in crime. We laughed over the dumbest things imaginable and did not […]
Is it ever enough to just be happy for once? Even for a little while. I just wanna know what true happiness and real joy feels like. I hate crying myself to sleep every other night, cutting when i have no way out its not fun and the worst part is.. I dont wanna change anything about what i do or who i am. I over think alot more than i’d like to. I can get through this. I will survive <3
Thursday, November 8th 2012. I found out I’m 8 weeks pregnant.
Same day, found out my brother had a full blown drug overdose, no one thought he was going to make it.
I’m 17 and pregnant. The father wants nothing to do with me, or the pregnancy.
Is this part of growing up? I’m all alone. Like always. He used me for sex and this is what happens.
I have to pay, not him, but me.
I hate him so much.
How could this happen. We used to be so in love. Now all I feel is hate..For everyone.
I want to just do whats […]
The dark side’s path is always so much shorter. The light side’s path is so much longer. But, being happy is always an option, it’s just so much work to get there. That’s why being sad seems like the only option, because the path is only a few steps to the dark side. When the sound has faded and the dark has overcome our eyes, we’re sad. But why can’t there be rainbows and butterflies everywhere? Why can’t EVERYONE be happy? Because being happy takes work and it can’t always just appear in front of your eyes. Life is like a rollercoaster, it’s got its […]
anyone got anything that can help me sleep…. lol
Anyone here following the Walking Dead, zombies and shit, way cool, hope tpo never return as one of them spooky.
We still love ya, all the same.
Just because we get frustrated with arguments doesn’t change anything.
I had to go lay down.
Hope you feel better, love.
Hey, I know it’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted, and I’m really sorry if anyone worried, but the truth is, I’ve been doing really well. I’ve stopped taking medication, and have actually been out and social and been doing assignments and stuff so much that I haven’t had time to write anything. I mean sure I had little things like friend/boyfriend/family fights and shit, but I’ve been so social that I’ve had friends come and help me through it. My post traumatic stress and depression symptoms are reducing by the day, and although I know I can relapse at any time, it […]
I kind of want to…. but it sounds scary…. care to share your experiences?
This Insomnia blows. I won’t sleep for shit tonight. The thoughts in my head make it worse, there not even suicidal tonight. I pushed everyone away. And I never really noticed I push people away until one person pointed it out that I did it to him. I wish I hadn’t, I fucked it all up, every single part. There’s not a single person to blame but me. Now, he’s moved on, he got a new girl, she treats him right, she’s better than me, and always will be. He still waste his time talking to me, I have no clue why he bothers. But, […]
Its almost time to really get started on my planning. On Wednesday I’m going to see my therapist and I will try and talk about the end. I really hope she understands where I’m coming from, but she will definitely help me in my decision. There are so many times where I feel like I really want to and then times when I don’t. I just wish I could talk to someone fully about it, someone who is on the same page as me. Â I’m so alone and stuck with a million reasons to end my life. One of the best being how much everyone […]
Hey, so this is my first time doing anything of this sort… Â I’ve read quite a few of these posts and it seems a lot of people are also having a hard time. Â Not to sound mean but it actually is helpful to know I’m not the only one.
Anyway I’ll get to the point.  I’ve been horribly depressed for a while now.  I am the socially awkward kid that no one really ever wants to talk to in class.  I have only one friend really, and now he hangs out with the “popular” kids so I am kind of left alone a lot.  (By the way […]