Its been almost 2 days since me and him said our final goodbyes.. I’m feeling better, but it still hurts. I miss him so much and I try to focus on the good times but they just end up making me sad. I know that I shouldn’t do it but I keep checking his Facebook everyday. Mostly just to see his face, but since I know that he is talking to someone else maybe I also just unconsciously check to see if the relationship status changes .. He said if they went out, he wouldn’t even ask for at least a month, but I can’t help but […]

Suicide is a function of intelligence.

Now, I’m not saying everyone intelligent wants to kill themselves. If one is enjoying life, why kill oneself?

And you don’t need to be super intelligent to realize you’re in a lot of pain and want out.

However, the reason humans perform suicide as opposed to, say, rabbits, quail, or whatnot, is we have evolved to the point where we are intelligent enough to perceive our own eventual mortality, as well as to make probability-based estimates about our likely future. These estimates may be wrong and frequently are, but these are what humans use to make future-based predictions of all kinds.

Jobs, mates, […]

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I posted. I tried to end it on the 16th of October I believe and survived. Now I’m here. I’ve come along way in the past not quiet a month. Or has it been a month? I’m not sure what the date is today. I’ve sort of lost all track of time. But I’ve been better. A lot better. I dated someone. It was nice to feel appreciated and to think that someone found me attractive. He treated me pretty well for those two short weeks. My parents haven’t fought with me much lately and frankly all […]

When i found out… I didnt think i could do it. Im only a teenager… Im only a boy.. When i found out i was going to be a father.. I.. I collapsed. And then it seemed like bad luck got ahold of me. And then i started fighting with my parents more. I layed in bed till 2pm.. Staring at the ceiling thinking about who i am and what i was doing. This all started about 2 months ago. You see. I was that kid that went out filling his brain with all kinds of drugs. Drank on the weekends. Hung out with friends.  And […]

Just sayin

Im out

Ive been in an out of the hospital for almost a year now! with NO answers! i took a trip with my step dad to New Brunswick, we drove there and then  i took a bus home about a month and a half later. after i got home i felt horrible, couldnt keep anything down and was just in so much pain. that was about a year ago and its still the same now. there may be a few days out of a month were i feel okay but then the pains back again. My spin is shaped like an S! so just imagine how […]

I often hear things like if you kill yourself and you’ll go to hell but if you have no family who is left to care and if God is perfect then he should have already known about my plan people say that by killing themselves they are failing God and other but they should turn around I might have failed you but by rejecting me and with all other leaving me to die I can honestly say you have failed me too

so yestrday i relapesed i heard mmine and my exes song then i saw him i thought i had moved on i have a new bf that i thought i loved but now im not so sure after i saw my ex  i went home grabed my knife a just mutalled my body my legs, arms, and even my stomach i bleed so much till i passed out my gpa wasnt home i guess when he got home he thought i was asleep i done it so much till i passed out  i dont know what to do i wanna stay with the guy im […]

why do i wake up everyday feeling worthless? why do i feel like nothing will get better? why do i feel so much pain?  why do people look at me like im crazy if i tell them how i really feel?…… WHY???!!!

I just want answers, i just want to know why im like this, i know im not the only one. And i also know that people out there have way bigger problems then me. but somtimes just because i live in a country with running water and i have a roof over my head. just change the fact that i still feel horrible pain. […]

I try not to think about it because the more I do, the more I am enchanted. I just want to fall into the darkness, which looks so inviting. But I’m always afraid that someone will catch me and then my secrets would be bared to the world.

Every time I hear the words the future. Always telling me, think about your future, what will you do in the future, where will you be years from now. I can’t help but laugh inside. It takes my everything to smile, give appropriate responses. I know I’m lying.

I have never seriously thought about my future. I […]

Where does everything fit in place, im just starting to lose faith. The present sucks and the hope i hold for the future is slowly slipping away. How can i sit here and pretend like everything is going to get better. This life sucks ass, and i guess i cant complain because im too much of a ***** to pull the trigger. Still I cant help but want more from this horribly bleak life. To find the rainbow in the storm. It made me laugh to see the category suicide survivor, are there really any survivors or just people that never really wanted to die […]

All i can ever remember in my life is pain both of the physical and emotional nature. Every day i wake up thinking i am not worthy of facing the world and that the world would be just better of without me. This feeling haunts me all day, draining me of everything i have i feel limp like my soul could just fly out my body any minute..I never actually feel like a human. I cant even control my emotions its just like a roller coaster ride to get threw a single day, what lame excuse for a person cant even keep there emotions in […]

Soon, I will have to make a difficult decision. I’m not sure exactly when, but there is already this particular feeling- almost like an adrenaline reaction- slowly pushing my blood towards the surface of my skin, silently speeding my heart rate up, gradually shutting down my ability to feel anything but so fucking tense.

Someone is abusing me, quite badly and I have only recently come to the sense that I might perhaps matter in this world and that I don’t deserve mean hands touching me all the time. I want to speak of the injustices done to me, I want to be humble enough […]

a bottle of scotch and a handgun so I can blow my fucking brains out.

I don’t know why it’s so hard to want to do anything. My antidepressant isn’t doing a thing for me. I want to want to get out and breathe the chilly morning air. I want to feel like finally practicing sewing. I want to actually make a plan to see my mom. I want to feel like getting out of bed in the morning instead of sleeping until 2pm. – I have maybe a couple of friends, but I never hang out with them – I feel like I just drag them down, like they’d be better off without me. I feel boring, tired, stupid, […]

I’d say I have good reasons for wanting to go, personally. Even just going beyond the basics of the depression, agoraphobia, social anxiety, borderline, etc. And yes, I’ve tried all the treatments for those. Over a dozen different medications over the years, plus a course or two of ECT, no success.

My entire life, I’ve lived with pain. I’ve had a headache, every waking moment of every day. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, but always there. Constant, unrelenting pain. I’ve gone to doctor after doctor, had multiple EEGs, x-rays, CT scans, even an MRI. And yet the docs have never been able to figure out a cause, […]

tonight is my last day on earth… i lost my gf for 6 years and was caught selling weed to a friend and have a warrant for me. im a disappointment to my parents and i cant take it anymore. i dont need any sympothy i just wanted to put this out to see before i die.

So, you’re lonely and feel worthless. What does that tell you? That all you can see is the negatives about yourself. Every single person in the world has something good about them. God made you for a reason. For example, at my school, there are the ‘losers’, the people who get bullied and struck down. There is a kid at my school who has a medical condition and people would probably call him ‘a loser’. But how can they call him that when he’s the nicest person you’ll ever meet. And the kid is so strong and is always happy even if he does have […]

Why don’t you just become friends with each other?
I don’t understand.
You’re saying no one cares but you guys keep posting about how lonely each of you are without even responding to each other most of the time.
If you’re so lonely, go read other peoples’ posts who say they’re lonely and say hi.

Talk. But more importantly, listen. Make friends.