haven’t posted on here in forever but I guess that’s good. I don’t know.
This one guy who I had a thing for last year but never really talked to (it’s a rather long story) well he sits a few seats over from me at lunch. and my friend spilled my water all over and he was cleaning it up and the guy asked me if I was going to use my paper bag (don’t ask me how that would help clean up the mess I really don’t know.) then he quickly added “I mean besides suffocating yourself. I know you want to kill yourself […]

And the girl said I really like you
and depression said no she doesnt nobody likes you dont trust her
and the guy said I like you too
and the girl said I dont like you
and the blade said i can make you smile.

Would anyone care? If I were to kill myself? Would anyone? I feel like no one would. Scratch that. I KNOW, no one would care.

And knowing no one would care sucks.

It makes me feel worthless and empty.

Unwanted, and useless.

Stupid and ugly.

Lifeless and uncaring.

No one would care.

And thats why I must go.

It’s finally time.

Today was ok school went by like normal kids being harsh and judging others on things they know nothing about. Get home its fine…until dad comes home and him and mom start. Money, money, money thats all its ever about with him, then he takes his anger out by screaming and ordering me to do everything he doesn’t want to. Got in trouble for eating again so maybe i just will stop eating tomorrow…really need someone right now feel so alone…

I’m 16 and a junior at high school.  I have been suicidal for a long time and I have yet to talk to anyone about it. I used to do terrible things to my friends and family. I would lie, cheat, and steal from them. I don’t know why i did it but i did. I realized that it was bad and I stopped. I’m better and happier.

Just recently I heard my friends talking about themselves and saying that their fat and that they need to lose weight. It didn’t used to affect me but I started to believe it. Me  being a thicker and wider person i thought ” well if […]

Today I took approximately 20 extra strength acetaminophen, 10-15 regular advil, 2 extra strength liquid gell advil, and 2 extra strength liquid gel midol. How long will it take me to at least get sick? I had a awful head ache for like an hour after taking it all but other then that nothing has happened..

Everytime I get with my friends, they start to “joke” around me. They would insult me or say something about me. It really hurts even though they are do not mean it. But sometimes, I feel like they do mean it. When they say something like “you suck at everything” and say it is a joke, I feel like they really me that I suck at everything. They would also get angry with me if I get confused or suck at playing a sport (I’m male). I don’t fight back because I really don’t think that adding fuel to the fire helps. They already […]

Hi there.I’m a girl with an ambition to be a listening ear for any one who needs it.I promise to check my email every single day.It’ll be no problem helping.My email is shanecia.anthony@gmail.com

Fuck this. I’m done. I ruin EVERYTHING. I should just go die. NOW.

Dad: well outa anger he once hit me cuz apparently my voice when i sing is shitty?? but he keeps my sister away from me and he trusts me so im allowed to a lot more compared to being with my mom
Mom: works/goes clubbing/or goes outa the house
Sister: beats me/ does no chores/ hangs with her friends/ bitches and complains cuz no one will do her stuff for her
me: at my moms i do house work/ protect my sister/ cook/ do homework/ help my sister do her homework/ play with my sister/ and then go to sleep when she figures out how […]

I know there is never a good time but how do you pick the time you want to go there just never seems to be a right time.

I just want to be held. is that to much to ask? i try to hold everything in but somehow i can never move on from my past. the aching i feel through my body and the tears that are stained on my face are like tatoos that can never be erased. i try to smile and say i will be okay but why do i lie i guess im trying to hide from my mistakes. the blood that comes down my leg. hoping that doing this will make my pain go away. but only for awhile. when am i going to change?

So every single morning, I wake up. Obviously, either wise i wouldnt be here right now and you wouldn’t be reading this crappy entry. but oh well. anyways, i do my normal routine, get ready for school, stare at myself in the mirror, criticize myself, decide whether or not i should skip breakfast, blahblahblah. sounding familiar? .. then i get to school, dont know who to be around with in the morning, should i hang out with my backstabbing friends , or be a loner and get looks and shit? i choose the latter most times. school goes pretty fine, heart hurts everytime i see […]

I need alcohol now my parents locked it up cause of me. Little do they know it keeps me sane they don’t understand my anxiety

I can’t stop it anymore. I feel like shit all the time.

I think I might.
I might.

I Probably…

                             Will try until I fail.

I don’t know how or when. So don’t ask.

I won’t plan it. It will happen by itself.

…. I feel like failing.

I have never posted here before although I have been reading what others say for a while. I dont ever talk to the people in my life about emotions, feelings or anything else that I keep buried deep down inside myself in order to get through the day.

I have friends. I have friends that I never talk to, and friends that I talk to about small trivial things that are unimportant to me but I deem to be considered normal by society. Its important to me that I blend in and that no one notices that something is wrong. If people knew that something is […]

(Blow me one last kiss)

So Hi! :3

Lol. They wanted to take me back to hospital today.. And I finished all of my colouring pages. Then destroyed some with black crayons and random scribbles of what I think are meant to be words.

I keep thinking it’s my fault.. Just seeing her screen name is enough to start a breakdown. It’s physically impossible for me to have done that.

I don’t think I can take much more of this, And the fucking pretending is driving me insane. I can’t do that anymore, I’m going to break soon.

Well, As I always say.. I’m a broken toy. A little Teddy-bear, […]

Well, I’m back fresh from the Psych Unit.  It wasn’t what I expected, but better than I feared.   I don’t feel different as a person, but I am not in the same place I was…which is better.  I’ll write a little more of my experience when I’m not so tired.  (feeling a little spent right now)  I wish everyone to keep fighting and stay with us.  We are better with you than without you. (I did learn and do believe that)

As my days tick down i grow a little nervous, but at the same time relieved that my suffering will soon come to an end.  I’m starting to feel the emotional pain of those left behind and what they will feel.  But I’m really not close to my family and have no kids so they will recover just fine. i think they will understand that my mental illness has been too much and the future looks grim. I’m wrapping up final details here and there.  tomorrow I get dog his bordetella vaccine so he can be boarded for 3 days till my father picks him […]

Hello, this is my first post & I’m going to share my story with you.

When I was 16 I married my husband, & on my 18th birthday I found out he was cheating on me. I kept quite. I loved him. I’m 21 now & a couple months ago I found out he has a family with a woman almost twice my age. I’m pregnant but I haven’t told him because I found a letter he was going to give me saying he was going to leave me for her. I’ve swallowed all of this along with it my pride, & I’ve had it. […]