So i find myself in my own hole again, im 21 years old and i’ve suffered from depression all my life as well as other disorders. i first started feeling depressed when i was a young child. The first thoughts of suicide that i can remember was when i was 8 and from that point i’ve been on and off many medications. I’ve had the ups and the downs and now i feel like im stuck in the down and i can’t get out. i spent a month in a psych ward in December and was released in January. i was homeless when i was […]
dear anyone who would like to read this
today i went to school, and as usual, was tired cause it was a monday and feel a bit timid towards others. though, as a part of the yearbook, i was required to talk to or introduce myself to 6 students whom i was going to take pictures of. today, one of those students, a girl, was one of them, came to school. almost everytime i tried to talk to her, just to see if she was doing okay in school, (is new) she wouldn’t notice me, or i was interrupt by people tht needed to talk to me.
when i […]
hi there, im a girl
and i am currently suicidal.
everyday i wake up, and try to think of three reasons to live, i only ever think of one. My friends, even though none of my friends know im like this, no one knows (except for my sister and i will explain that later), they are literally the only reason i keep on living because i love seeing them everyday, those four people being the only ones who can make me smile. I have a feeling one of them is like me, but i haven’t got the nerve to ask. I told one of them about […]
This is the question:
I wonder where it will end should it be in the neighborhood park or a diff city and state?This is my story:
I have tried to OD on drugs at 15 years old I’m 47 now. The drugs was not enough to kill me plus they pumped my stomach. The state of GA took me away from the ones who would beat me and stomp me. I was in hospital for 3-4 days then I was put in a crazy house and stayed there for 6 long months. When I did get out I was placed in a home that the state […]
I emailed my ex after 2 years of not talking to him at all. He answered my email and it made my day. Then I wrote back and it’s been like 12 hours and nothing… I check my email every half hour I’m going crazy waiting to hear back from him. I still love him he was my first love and till this day no one can make me feel as good as he did. I wrote to him when I was feeling real bad, he use to be the person I called when I had my dark thoughts. I want him to say he […]
Someone, anyone please email me.. smexiicat.meoew@gmail.com
Im here to listen and talk about anything and everything…
feelinglonely..
I can’t stand my own thoughts right now. I know that I want to move on and be able to live without her, but I can’t bring myself to believe that I will ever want another person. Every time I try to convince myself that I can have a life with somebody else she always comes back to my mind. I’ve never had these difficulties with anyone. I’ve never had any difficulty letting another girl go when the time came. This one just was so perfect. I mean, she had her flaws but I loved every one just the same. She exceeded everything I could […]
I’ve been handling things so well lately.
But tonight everything fell to pieces. Â I can’t stop crying, which is odd for me. I hardly ever cry.
I’m trying my best not to cut myself but it is getting to the point that i am craving it, i need it so much that i feel like my heart is going to explode.
I need to hurt myself! I want to die so much.
These comments are so generic but  i don’t know any other way to express myself right now. My mind is so jumbled.
I hate this so much.
Die, die die.
I don’t understand.
I’m employed, healthy, and I can deal with people most of the time, but I still don’t want to live. Why? I feel like I don’t even deserve to have feelings like this. That I just need to get over it. I don’t enjoy doing anything anymore. I made plenty of changes in my life, hoping that something might flip the switch and I could enjoy being me. I moved out of my parents, started making new friends, started dating guys again, got a job in the new city, and tried to stop worrying about so many things.
But I still don’t want to […]
Of course nobody read my first post… im new on this website but of course theres comments on every post but mine… once again i open up and theres nobody to listen…. im so done trying to talk about the way i feel. Maybe everything would be better without me here. Or the same since nobody really aknowledged that i was there anyways…
All my life ive been used, abused& hurt. Ive been treated like i dont mean anything. Its been like that since i can remember. When i was in my moms stomach she would drink and do drugs and still smoke. She didnt care. Shes never cared. She cheated on my dad all the time and treated him like nothing. She would leave and stay gone for short periods of time. She lost her good job for the state because shed rather go outand drink. When i was a baby and my little sister was a newborn my mom decided to kidnap us. Yes aparent can […]
During the summer my depression was able to chill out a bit, but now that school is about to start for me I am starting to really worry that it will come back full force… I have no friends at my school as I am anti-social and have social anxiety, a few people have tried to become friends with me but those are only really immature kids, or it could just be me rejecting people for some reason that I can’t explain.
I’m a complete mess and its really embarrassing, I’m always tripping over my own feet, or on the stairs, or I say stupid things […]
She walks with her head down
No one cares enough to see her perpetual frown
She has created an illusion
In which people only see her grin.
Inside her soul is on fire
LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR
Her spirit is slowly dying
She is always CRYING.
She silently screams for the world to hear
But they turn a deaf ear
And a blind eye
and so she whispers good-bye
Good-bye to all the people that never cared about her
And with one last stir
She cuts the knife deep into her skin and DIES.
i found this website today and made an account and so here i am telling you my story after my parents split up when i was 8 and i moved to California i would still visit my dad in Arizona on breaks and holidays from school. When i went into 6th grade my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer it had spread to his bones and needed to start chemo right away he did and then there was no trace of the cancer. Towards the end off my 6th grade year it all came back he was fighting and doing everything he could […]
I tried to be happy[ish] and stop putting myself  down so much, but it didn’t really work out. I was relatively happy for about 3 months, but I don’t think I was happy at all. I forced myself to not think anything bad, and I would always push a ‘bad’ thought out of my mind as soon as it appeared. It was mentally tiring, I guess. So I gave up. If I am to be happy, I want it to be real and not me just being in denial. So now I’m back to being depressed. Although I have to say I am a lot […]
I’m done, I want to die already.
I’ve said my prayers to my god in heaven, so I don’t know if I’ll go to heaven or hell, I guess it’s his choice.
I’m ready.
Is there a quick easy way to go? I’m tired of pain and I’m dead inside.
I can only hope I’ve helped some people here.
I don’t have any pills or anything to help the process, please help.
i have the bestest friend in the world. ive had a few best friend before but he out rules everyone. sure i cant just walk over to him cuz he lives to far..sadly. but so what? the one thing i dont get is that after all i put him through with my multiple (some near fatal) suicide attempts he’s still by my side. he is the biggest reason i can still breathe to this day..i have moment when i fall but he pulls me back up eventually. without him id be screwed over maybe even dead..my best friend is the one of the best […]
So I was wondering if my tendency to hurt myself could be considered a positive or at least non-negative behavior. I have been in many situations where I was prepared to commit suicide, but I started cutting or punching myself. The pain always ended up overriding my will to go through with the suicide and I just continued until I was left crying myself to sleep. I can’t think of how many times the cuts and bruises have saved my life. I am so confused on whether I should be happy that hurting myself has saved me or not.
I am at the lowest i have ever been in my life. Sad to say, but i am starting to understand why people kill themselves. I am so depressed and can’t seem to shake it off. Im 27, a broken engagement sent me over the edge. I let any relationship im in consume my entire life and im never happy anyway because i cant seem to trust any man and end up being a crazy ***** for my insecurities. Im in love with a drug addict/alcoholic. He is a horrible person. He lies, steals, embarrasses me and doesnt work, but yet im completely addicted to […]
Woke up in the emergency room this morning, and can’t remember the night before. Apparently I made another attempt. that brings my total to 14. This has to end.