Only if there was a way for them to feel what those that suffer feel, they wouldnot try to stop the suicide, but help. We are all suffering, but it takes the strong willed to keep pushing forward, but for how long do u think we can hold on for? You think a shrink will understand when all they are doing is shoving pills down ur throat, or counselors think they know what ur going through? Are they living ur life?! Even the ones that have gone through it, managed to block the pain from thief mind because u can’t beat this. It always comes […]

High school is the worst part of life. Going to school and seeing perfect people who live happy and enjoy teenage life. Sitting in class thinking how bad i just want to come home and lay in bed. Fall asleep…a very deep sleep. Pretending to be okay and hiding your pain. I dont care about the stupid school events, stupid “fun” things that i should be doing. I just want to find a way to end this pain that is eating me inside. Why does my sadness never end? Most of the people my age get sad but things get better and they go back to […]

I have two years to go, but once I am old enough I plan to join the military. However… the problem arises where I am sortof self diognosed with bipolar disorder. Like, I have every symptom to horrible extremes. I told one friend about this and she immediatly told me to see a doctor, because she had dealt with something close (major depression w/psychotic features).  But, if I see a doctor, they will not let me join the military and 30 years of my life will be gone. I have been in this depressed state for about a year now and lately I have been […]

I think I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Some of you know by now that I’m in college, i’m a freshy. I’m trying to make myself keep all the promises I made to myself while here. One was don’t fucking hook up with anyone before the end of the first year. This is for personal reasons. I know that after I do shit like this I’m going to regret it and beat myself over it like there’s no tomorrow. I promised him I wouldn’t be with anyone until after November. I’ve kissed two others guys, do stupid shit, and now I’ve come […]

i feel so alone and empty right now i want to rip my hair out and scream and to cry like there is no tomorrow

my wish for you is: smiles when sadness intrudes comfort on those difficult days, rainbows to follow the clouds, sunsets to warm your heart, laughter to kiss your lips, hugs when spirits sag, friendships to brighten your being, beauty for your eyes to see, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, patience to accept the truth, courage to know yourself, love to complete your life ♥

we all want to die..so why are we still here?

Judge me all you want,

I don’t care,

I have internal problems,

Want me to share?

Though it’s too personal,

Are you willing to take on anything?

It’s not something that happens seasonal,

But it’s a little “something?”

Perhaps not even little,

Who am I kidding?

This “something” is so brittle,

It’s stinging the very whole of my heart,

Those leftover lights shattering,

Waiting for my life to depart,

Lights begin to break scattering,

No way to restart,

Would you even get it?

Even if I told you half of my suffering?

I don’t think there’s a point now,

All of my lights are darkening,

Lights of the way out,

where peace and happiness tries to enlighten you,

can’t you see I can’t find a way out?

I […]

I don’t know who I am, why I’m here, why I’m alive. I tried very nearly successfully once before. I’m not sure I want to die, but I don’t want to live anymore. My heart has been ripped apart. I’ve never loved anyone like I loved her, and I just ruined it. I have to let go, move on, but I can’t. My heart still cries out for her… and she’s already over me, and it hurts so much. I don’t want to hear that I’m young, and it will pass, because I’m nearly 30. But throw these feelings on top of the pain I […]

Great… i just found out that my brother was put in jail for aggravated assault for pulling a gun out on some people because they were chasing him down with a baseball bat.

one reason i want to commit suicide is because i want to be with my best friend. he was killed october 4th 2007 and i think of him everyday! i should be the one that is dead right now! its all my fault. me and him were walking down the street one day. and we grew up on the really gehtto side of fresno. and we were walking down martian luthur (street) and there was a shooting happening down the street. and we kept on minding our own business but the car sped up and was coming towards us. and damian (my friend) grabbed me […]

another fight with dad over the same fucking thing..appraently i need to starve to death.
sister beat me all night..so im really sore minus the pain from too many cuts, i have a HUGE headache..why suffer through this pain, plus an event yesterday that i dont feel like talkingbout..cuz its fucking stupid..and i blame me for letting it go so far. anyways why cant i just be taken away:/

somewhere far away, somewhere just so i dont have to see anyone again..where no one would think to find me