Some people asked for artwork… Well here ya go! 🙂 Some of my better drawings.. Alien was done just a few minutes ago.

Patient,

Just as I am,
As always,
Watch the time go by,
Nothing left to pass by,
The minutes follow me,
Drunken little people, 
Work away in me,

Why won’t they leave me, leave me alone
When I don’t even want me, want me

I have to, kill the words,
Before they, form my sentence,
The sentence that is me,
Judged by those that carry
The patient sits in cradled arms
That comfort me by strangling

Why won’t they leave me, leave me alone
When I don’t even want me,

The patient mental sits and stares
An idle mind that’s empty, screaming
Staring back
Why won’t they leave him, leave […]

In a world where thoughts are louder then words, I am screaming.

i honestly dont even know where to start.. i guess the most recent attempt would be a good place considering nobody around me knows what happend.  so yeah.. roughly 4 weeks ago,  i attempted suicide. my plan was perfect.  i managed to get my hands on 2 bottles of liquid diazapam (5mg per 5mL) along with 25 10mg diazapam pills.  i set up the noose, put plastic on the floor for easy clean up. tested the wire and the support, it held 200 lbs ( i weigh 130) no flaws. it was perfect..my time is finally here i thought.

i injected both bottles, ate all 25 […]

im 40 years old and ive had enough. its pretty strange for me but just recently ive been feeling more accepting to the idea of death. when i was younger i was scared to death of killing myself although ive always wanted to. now i feel hope in that my life may be coming end. im not broke, i have a good job and i have a good place to live. the problem is that life hasnt turned out the way it should have. ive worked hard all my life and ive been well rewarded and ive even had two fantastic kids. i think my […]

Or am I the only one who hates when someone says ” it’s all up to you whether you want to get better or not” or something along those lines. I understand what they mean, saying it’s up to us to get over what’s upsetting us, if we want to get better. That no one can help fix us but ourselves. While that may be true, when I’m in such a depressed state and someone tells me this I can’t help but feel a little angry. Of course, if I could put everything aside and be happy and okay, I would. BUT the way I’m feeling is too intense. I’m sorry […]

Would they even notice if i just dissapesred? Would they notice if one day I didnt turn up to school? I doubt it. The only way they would notice me missing would be when they cant turn to me to complain about eachother or ask a favour that no one else will do.

People say ‘You dont know what you have until its gone.’ But what did they have in me? Someone who listened to them? Maybe. Someone who would always be there for them, to help, despite of what she was doing? Yes. Thats the only they would notice me, if i wasnt there.

They dont […]

Hello all, I have led a life of suffering from severe abuse as a child to sickness and PTSD insanity as an adult, i’ll be 50 years old in october and it turns out my husband is a crack addict… i’ve always been suicidal, and have worked hard to fight it, but now… i don’t see the point of going on, even tho parts of me want to, to pet my cat, to taste salty food… etc

but what is the point of all this carnage? are religions like Christianity just made up to made us soldier on and keep paying taxes?

all i have to look […]

I’m serious.

When I read about the Exit Bag I read about failure will lead to Brain Damage.  So what it is it?  A killer disease?   Will I still be able to attempt suicide for a 2nd time with “brain damage”?  I’m serious.

Yesterday, someone at work mentioned to me that I looked sad and that I could come into their office anytime and vent if I wanted to. She bought me a kit-kat bar to boot to try and cheer me up. I thought I was doing fine hiding my misery but apparently not.

This happens every so often, where I’ll just be so physically tired that I don’t have the strength to “PUT ON A HAPPY FACE! BRUSH OFF THE CLOUDS AND CHEER UP! PUT ON A HAPPY FACE!” I do appreciate the gesture(to some degree) and I wish that I could confide in someone but it’s […]

I think it’s time to stop all of this.

As in the SP and the chatroom. I’ve met some amazing people, which is hard. Knowing that all of them are suicidal. Which just increases my fear and blows it ridiculously out of proportion.

I’m feeling okay right now. Apart from having the flu. -_-

You people are amazing. And you deserve the right to a happy life. I’m past that point now, That dream ended when the mental health problems took over.

I will make myself avaliable to anyone who needs a little help, Or even just someone to talk to and possibly relate to. I’m no therapist though… […]

If i die today…no one will notice…not my friends not my family..no one. Maybe they will when they want to use me or blame me….

I have this rising urge to kill myself. I have a BA in English, I have a job, I’m in good health, I have friends, I come from money, and I have a loving family, so why do I want to kill myself? Good question. Lately when I let my mind wander my thoughts often turn to the concept of impressions. We all come across a certain way to people which means we all have unique character traits. It seems to me that my only character trait is that I am unlikeable. No matter what I do, and no matter how hard I try, people […]

Some people on here may know me.

if I just disappeared? Would anyone try to find me, or would they just continue on with their lives? It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve been long gone.

I have become cynical about my own sadness now. I don’t believe it any more and I tell myself it’s just a lie and block it all out, that I’m feeding it by thinking about it. And it works, it really works. Not thinking about it makes it feel like it’s not there at all and makes me feel better, so much better. But if it’s so easily healed, I question its existence in the first place. And if it never existed, I’m just another pathetic teenager using sadness and feeding it as an excuse to avoid life. And that both scares me because it […]

Life ain’t worth living. If i could, i would brutally murder any human on the world except for the weak. (People with a psychical disorder, suicidal and poor people) People are arrogant, selfish and only care about their own interests.

Months of therapy and medication but i feel no real progress. I felt better for a few months but i miss the happiness when i was a child. People keep bringing me down and
i left my religion because god is a fucking joke.

I want to kill myself just to say to god and to the people; i fucking quit and there is nothing you can […]

My mind is deteriorating more and more each day of my miserable existence.

Hi , i don’t want to open up a can of political worms, but what’s the vibe on Obama getting back in or not, living downunder we pretty much get feed shite on this subject , sort of UNFAIR and UNBALANED ???????????

I was watching a short youtube video and the lady described dying somewhere in it. She was being choked out in a terrible situation and she closed her eyes and after a while, all she saw was white and she felt herself slipping deep into her mind and she couldnt feel any pain and she had no worries she said it was like an escape from what was happening to her. She described it as if she were dying but i knew she was just passing out from a lack of blood/oxygen flow to her brain.

This made me think…being free from my situation and the pain I feel […]