Email me. Thegirl.interrupted1989@gmail.com

One day I will probably kill myself by driving my vehicle into the water at a boating dock and drowning when no one is around to save me.  As bad as suicide is I think an even worse fate would be to be saved and come back all retarded or a vegetable. I have known for about 4 years that I would kill myself one day. I know there are people who will miss me. Trust me, I have 2 kids. I love them very much. I even love myself. I am just undeniably unhappy in this life because of my past and a life […]

Do you ever get that overwhelming need to destroy everything? And I mean everything, the things you love included. It’s just that right now I want to destroy everything in my life. I’m sort of angry and I don’t know why. I just feel this rage deep inside me that wants to break everything, throw things across the room, tear pages out of books I adore, scream ugly things at people I love, slam doors really loudly and destroy my relationship with my friends and family.
But more than anything I want to destroy myself. Not as a coping method or as the permanent sleep […]

Last summer.  The last one.  I’m through.

When I die

I already know

I am going straight to hell

I will be a forgotten soul

My wings will be torn apart

Life isn’t for me

Was never meant for me

I just wanted her

After found out she wasn’t real

After found out that her mother always hated me

I isoloated myself for many years

Hated the things that I really loved

Only cuz she liked them as well

So frustrated

Didn’t know how to express my true feelings

I hurt and bullied a lot of people

I truthfully didn’t trust anyone

I mean

Yea I’ve always wanted to talk about my feelings

I’ve always wanted someone who understood me more

That I was never alone

I’ve alway wanted to fall in love

Wished […]

Hang in there.  You knew the road to salvation was going to be a treacherous one.  You are suffering, but your “moral compass” is still accurate.  You remain engaged on the vital targets.  The suffering brings you panic, but know that it cannot change you.  It only forges your soul in steel.  The stranglehold of society, firmly holds it’s grip on you, but do not fear that you will crumble.  It is a hoax.  It’s power is superficial and the only thing that will come of your conflict, is the awakening of the Harbinger inside  you.  You have less than three years to get your […]

Most people are on this site, because society has failed them. Society includes family, friends, religion, government, etc. In order to progress to a place of true gratification, you MUST see beyond all these things. You cannot pick and choose. For the ones who wish to wallow in self-pity: The above constructs will offer you as much time as you want, as long as you contribute to taxes, tithes, morality, etc. For those looking for a better life: You can think like the “sheeple” and buy yourself empty, luxury items and perform meaningless rituals. For those who are open-minded and want more from this one […]

I went to a birthday BBQ  today .. people were cheerful, there was more than enough cake .. it felt nice to be there

when it was time to leave, I was supposed to say good bye to everyone (a tradition) and I thought:

“what’s the point ? I’m gonna meet those people again .. say hi and good bye again .. fuck this shit”

so I went straight to the car

my reaction = the result of sthg that’s been building up for the past 5+ years

in life it’s always the same faces, always the same convos, always the same laughs and complains ..

always the same scripts and […]

I can’t do this anymore even if i really wanted too

Why can’t I die… I am done and I just want to end my life now

It’s the only thing that helps, and I don’t mean sex, I mean love, pure unconditional. Without any bullshit or demands. Just you and me embracing each other and hugging away the pain.

Hi, this is my frist post……

  I want to die and take my mom down with me. She has crushed me in so many ways I am sick of living. I am 12 years old, my mom drinks, smokes, and abuses. I have tried suffocating my self in water and with a pillow, I couldnt go through it…. I cant use a car because I don have a garage.. Since I just started 7th grade, it makes me depressed, I hate all of my teachers. I know they airnt there to be my friends but, its all the homework.  I had have depression since I […]

I feel like a slave against an invisible enemy, I feel so controlled and contained. Once you are beaten down nothing has to hold you down, to keep you down. I feel so lost, there has to be an answer. If I was in a prison, or a slave I would know who my enemy is and plan and fight, but I feel like I can’t distinguish what the hell is going on. Am I free? I can’t answer that, I don’t really know. If anybody knows anything I really need to know.

drinking alone
it is better to be alone than in bad company

I’m geting really tired this ridiculous life. All I do everyday is turning my brain to off so I can run away from my pain. That’s the only thing that worked so far too. I can’t connect with anyone, can’t relate to anything and can’t find any worth in me. I’m tired of pretending I still want to do studies, tired of pretending everything is gonna get better. I’m sick of hearing the same lies everyday, sick of lying all the time. I can’t bare living among people who’d rather value greed, malice, and putting their kind down all the time. I’ve had enough of […]

I’ve been racking my brain, trying to think of a way I could slip away peacefully, quietly, but I can’t come up with anything.  Every option seems so uncertain.  Who knew it could be so hard to end my life.  It would be so much easier if something could happen to me.  I wish I could trade places with a terminally ill person.  Someone who doesn’t deserve it, like a child.  I’d gladly take on their burden.

God can be so cruel sometimes.

Hanging out with my friends and my ex or bf or what ever he is and we have been hanging out all day but when he hugs me or puts his arm around me I wanted to cry so bad my eyes started to water and my face got all red… I want to die

I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt this awful.  Except maybe when I found out Amber was dead.

I feel sick.  Exhausted.  I spent so much of last night crying and then I couldn’t sleep.  I felt so tired it hurt, but I just couldn’t seem to fall asleep.

I’m considering calling my school’s on-call psychologist, but I’m scared.  Either that it won’t help or that they’ll try to force me into a hospital.  I wish I could talk to my girlfriend, but I’m 99% positive that she’s going to break up with me.  I’m not sure I can hear that right now.  I don’t want to […]

i loved inception but what a reckless thing to do, releasing it to the public without some sort of disclaimer for those with depressing thoughts. when im at my lowest, i half believe that theres a mystical force moving everything around me so as to push me toward suicide, that i’ll wake up from this nightmare if i just end it all. inception has made all those thoughts a bit more defined. fuck.. good thing i’m mostly a nihilist and dont believe in anything or else i might have killed myself before the end credits finished rolling.