Is the pleasures of the afterlife being good to you? Or is religion correct and are you suffering for being who you were just like you were here? I never understood why you went back on your word right in front of me that night and did what you did, but now I do. The loneliness, betrayal, judgment and depression all got to you. You felt like no one understood you, and I thought you were wrong, but now I realize that you were right, no one did understand you or your struggles, not even me. I’m still not sure if I did the right […]

I seem to stumble on this website at the oddest hours of night. 

It’s only 4:43AM, and I can’t sleep. This is a self induced insomnia. For the first time in ages I scored Adderall and I felt like myself this evening. All good things come to an end, I’m facing the enviable come down. Maybe it’s my brain reeling from the dopamine flood it just endured. I’ve just gotten to thinking that being a depressed addict is probably one of the worst illnesses in the world. Use to live, and when the dope runs out, curl up and die.

It makes me nostalgic. I miss when […]

Until I got the news today, the news that just might finalize my decision, I felt like a dead man walking for the past few months.  And back then, things were going relatively well.  But now…

There is something comforting about knowing I’m going to die.  I’m scared too.  But honestly, every life is a death sentence.  There is some beauty in being the one to end my life.  A sense of real control.

So I really like this guy, but I’m trying to take things slow, he’s super sweet and hhe takes me as I am. He tteexts me every morning tellinng me “goodmorning beautiful” and it seriously just makes me smile and blush. I just I dunno what to do about it, should I tel him how I feel or wait?

Words can’t describe how much pain I’m in. I love him so much and he couldn’t give two shits about me. He had said he loved me and cared about me and than started acting like I don’t exist. I don’t know what to do. This hurts so bad. I really can’t live without him. He’s all I think about. We broke up in April and ever since than I’ve been going through the worst bout of depression I’ve ever experienced. I really cant take this anymore. I met an awesome guy who wants to take me out, but I’m not going to give him […]

It’s been said that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. I don’t see that as a deterrent, who wants a temporary solution to any problem? Solutions are good, permanent solutions are even better. Anyways, my life sucks. Life doesn’t suck, just mine. And there is no one to blame but me. I don’t care enough about anything. I am unmotivated to make my situation any better. I just don’t care. People sometimes tell me to search for that desire or goal or want to strive for, only I don’t want anything. I don’t even want to die, I just don’t want to live […]

I haven’t been on this website much in the last year because I thought I was doing better.

But my father has been talking lately about how I should get engaged.

I am a 19 year old Arab female, and my father wants me to get engaged next summer to a man I do no know so that he can come to America, get settled in, and then marry me when I finish college.

But this is the stupidest bullshit in the history of the universe.

I hate my parents. I was accepted to MIT but my parents wouldn’t let me go because they told me I could not […]

I want my death to mean something.

Hi all i’m new.

I just want to have a little rant about a psychological term known as projection and if anyone has to unfortunately spend time around anyone who does this.

I have a pretend friend that i have known for around 15 years, he used to be a great lad however, he changed in character very suddenly and started to become more secretive with his thoughts.

Before this happened he would always have his worries about fitting in in some way or another it seemed like he just didn’t know who to be….identity crisis maybe.

Anyways, mentions of always feeling like he was the back of the […]

I’ve decided upon a solution to my issues that I find works better than counseling.

A) Because counseling pisses me off.

B) Because I find that all of the 9 or 10 counsellors that I’ve seen in the past 5 years or so have tried to make me conform to what society deems normal or happy.

My solution?  Trying to be as true to myself as possible.  I know it doesn’t exactly sound like a solution, or it sounds like a cliche one, but it’s been working so far.  For me, this means that if listening to ‘depressing’ music makes me feel a bit of peace or happiness, […]

Im sitting in my car on grinder (phone application) chillin smoking a ciggarett about to go clubbin, mabe some powder too… my advice, live to the fullest until u decide what ur gonna do 😉

I assume you know Matthew’s post was a dig at me? Don’t comment on him and he’ll go away.

Everybody is aware that this Donnie, real name Matthew, is an idiot. I seem to have annoyed some people by standing up to him so I suggest we ignore every one of his posts and delete any comment he makes on any of ours? I’ve also reported him to whoever runs the site so hopefully he will piss off soon 🙂

Is about experiences…

About learing from them.

Life…

is scary.

When people are so against people being on medication or think it is unnatural and the ones who take pills are fucked up and can’t deal with their own problems and just want to feel good.  I feel very hurt . Some pill bottles are filled with drugs so you can stop wanting to die all of the time. Some pill bottles are filled with drugs that help you fall asleep at night Some of those pill bottles are used to help you . And yes it sucks that people can’t have fun anymore and i understand , but sometimes it is the only thing you have […]

One of my favourite songs as a kid to present is Rudolph’s Misfit song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwlOUAAyPQE

I’m tired of putting on a fake smile, I want someone to talk to…

Someone who wouldn’t judge me…

every time i try to leave….the world wont let me…it pulls me back here..so god damn fucking annoying…world? LET ME OUT. please!

Having more thoughts about my suicide and how much i want to do it… i hate this cycle i can’t wait to find a way out of it and right now there only seems to be one way…