I am lost and the damage has been done.

We have been broken up for three months now, the 21st of this month will only be a short year that went by since we first dated. Three months ago I gave up everything I had (car , job and friends) to move with you 3000 miles across the country in hopes to find and continue our happiness together. Last night i asked why we really broke up and you told me that you hated me, even now that were not together somehow i still get under your skin and bug you. Ever since we have been broken up life feels pointless, its not the […]

im droping everything im getting blamed for everything in this househole because of me smokeing pot and getting into counseling and all this shit the money issues aremy fault im dropping out of school and moveing out i cant take the shit here anymoreim just a fucking worthless piece of shit to everyone anyway maybe i should just fucking kill myself already

I don’t really know why I’m here. Just to vent I guess.. Well I’m 17. I’ve been depressed for god knows how long. I don’t really get along that great with my dad or mom. They both abuse me. I cut myself sometimes. I recently had to get stitches cause I went to far with the cutting. My boyfriend of 4 months was really the only reason I wanted to be alive, and didn’t kill myself. But tonight I received a text from his sister.. it said “Hey my brother is talking to other girls and my brother says that he loves them to you […]

And i want to jump out of the hotel. im at
the 12th floor. the windows open.. im guessing 12 floor is enough to kill you?

I’m sitting here celebrating my 17th birthday with friends, my family and the boyfriend and things are actually looking up for a change 🙂 but something’s really bugging me. My grandfather came up to me a little while ago and made the comment “I’m glad you’re happy. I knew that “depression” phase would vanish.” At first I asked him what he meant and he started going on about how young I was and how it was impossible for me to feel real, long term depression. Now I’m just really annoyed. I mean just because I’m not an adult, doesn’t mean I haven’t had experience or […]

Why would she.as in i ve got noting to offer so why would anyone want to come to me jst to hurt me..i loved her yes i did.bt she was so filled with lies and she does a very bad job of making her lies sound real..i just dont know why everybody is leaving me for somebody else..she was the only thing that kept me going.but tanx to mr kharled.i wont be needing this life of mine anymore.she left me long before i even knew.bt i dnt care.and i aint taking my lyf bcus of any *****!.st.lesswill lives on

Everything is easier if you just stop caring, right? It’s easier if you just are alone as often as possible, right?
Then why do I still care? Why do I still check on a daily basis, to make sure my friend didn’t just go. It’s been about 5 days since he last posted. Ususally I wouldn’t be this worried, but his friend just took her own life and I can’t text him to make sure.And  I don’t know why I am suddenly thinking of all of this now. I am a wreck.

I’ve been thinking about it lately. Too much. How easy it would be to […]

i wish you werent all adults…we need sp teen i feel so unwanted…okay bye

I’m surprised to see you again.

I purely and thoroughly hate myself. There’s no sugar-coated layer to hide the fact of the matter.

Ever since I was a kid, clinical depression has lingered in every thought I’ve conceived. In public, I have it all: grades, musical/athletic talent, friends to fuck around with on the weekends. Reality? I’m smart, but totally unmotivated. I can answer questions in class and still not account for shit when it comes to my work. Music takes up my whole time, so what’s left for sports? I don’t want to get any unhealthier, but Jesus, my motivation spectra is as broad as the water level in the Saharra Desert. And sure, I have friends… Even that’s subjective, […]

My cousin did it. When he was eighteen, about a week before my fifteenth birthday. Eighteen years old. He had almost graduated high school. He was the greatest person in the entire world to me–my hero, my idol, my best friend. When he took himself away from us, I could not get it through my head. Why would he do this to us? Why would he deprive the world of his existence and leave the rest of us here to pick up the pieces? I simply could not understand.

Now that I am eighteen, I understand perfectly. He viewed the world the exact same way I […]

need to die going to die (hopefully soon) also ganna fuck up my wrists with a knife later..damn ganna love death i know it will be better then this

I am sorry that I fucked he’s mind up.

He got too close to me, and I just got scared.

Cuz I know he wouldn’t understand.

The more I over think

The more bitter I sence to become

I am a coward

I may be a first impression

but inside

I just want to cry

I may seem to be a *****

but I am terrified

I pushed him away so he wouldn’t get hurt

Mind games

I know how they work.

I am a master on observing

If you’re alone like me for many years

then yea

I hope you understand

Being the only child

Since you were 1 years old

then you should know

I should be lucky

but I am not.

It hurts

Caring for him except myself

for years

thinking he was family

and now he just […]

Does anyone else ever feel this way? I just don’t know how much longer I can go on. Things change so fast. I love my family and I love my daughter. There is always something to worry about, and to be honest everything would just be better without me around. Now if I were to leave, many people would be upset, I just wish I were never born. Before I was born my mother had a still born baby. If she were born, I never would have been. I know there is a reason I was born. I believe it was probably just to give […]

Do you hate yourself? Do you have thoughts that run in your head over and over until you have to say them out loud? Thoughts like, I am worthless, I am dirt, I am ugly, I am an idiot, nobody cares about me and if I live or die, or the worst thought of all: you should just go ahead an kill yourself. Do you feel completely alone? Do you question the motives of those who want to get close, do you even try to drive them away? Do you blame yourself for everything, including things that should not be your fault? Do you hurt […]

I found the box. Opened it and searched it… It hurts… I didn’t know pain would hurt this much. I didn’t know the guilt would hurt more than I moved away. I wish to forget everything completely. I wish to wipe it out of my mind, so i wouldn’t bug them anymore. i messed up. i should have set a plan, I should have set a goal. i should have talked about it. but i didn’t. Now i grief in so much anger, now i greif in so much bitterness, so much pain. I have done way too much pain, only cuz i was such a terrible friend. i […]

The beginning of June was really hard for me, a lot of things that you can’t control happened. My cousin was diagnosed with cancer, and has been fighting it since, and at the same time, my bestfriend from childhood commit suicide. I never truly realized how much pain he was in until after, and I wish I had been able to help him, I wish things had gone another way, I wish he was still here so I could help him, and be his savior like he had been mine many times. His memory will stay with me forever.

” Life is like a coin. You […]

How do you guys cope with feeling bad? Cry? Cut? Distract yourself? Get Angry?

Have any of you ever tried fainting?

Whenever I feel bad, I usually cry, but every once in a while, I’ll faint to feel better.

It feels good.

Really good.

For 3 seconds I forget about the world

For 3 seconds I forget about everything

It feels like

A 3 second suicide

What feels better is, when I wake up, for a few seconds, I get really light-headed

Almost as if I’m high

It feels like floating

You guys should try it

It might put some of you out of misery for a while

Just don’t over-do it, I’m pretty sure it’s not that safe

Anyways, […]

Hello everybody. As you can see the title pretty much says it all. I just wanted to get your opinion about this. I know that spirits exist but I don’t know whether the Ouija Board works or not. Some say it does and others say that it doesn’t. This has been on my mind for a pretty long time but I just can’t seem to get my hands on one … maybe I should make one myself? lolol I have no problem making one myself. It’s like 4 AM and I’m kind of bored. So .. Yay or Nay ??

*Cheers*