Where do I start? lets take today, worked for a promotion for 3 yrs, today rejected at the final hurdle, im just distroyed, my life has just been 1 rejection after another. To the outside world im a normal guy with a decent job providing a decent life for my wife and 2yr year old. But inside im in a world of hurt and pain, my parents have always been cold towards me and that had a serious affect on me, I was abused sexually by my older cousin, and because of the coldness towards me was never able to tell anyone, I blamed myself, I was […]
I know my last post was only a couple of hours ago, but something’s really bugging me and I was just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience. I guess I’ll put some background information for those who don’t know, but the question relates to any circumstance or scenario. Last year I was raped and nearly gang raped (I’m hoping as few of you as possible have been through that) and obviously most of it has stuck with me. But one of the details that has stuck with me most is what the guy who actually raped me said at the beginning.
“Don’t hold […]
Anyone else able to feel when the “darkness” is starting to come in??
Seems like I always get these headaches just before it gets real “dark” in my world.  So, I guess this is gonna be another crappy week.
And does anyone else here who did legit ODing suffer from really bad headaches since they OD’d???  Seems like I never really had headaches before, but now I get them a lot.
there is something wrong and it will not let me answer so I will just say my email is nvrshoutnvrfan10@gmail.com
i just want to die .
I just wanted to say goodbye to SP…thanks for all your help.
Everything will be fine soon.
I hate feeling sorry for myself. I realize how good I got it. How AWESOME my life would be to most. On the outside this “wanna-be hard ass” or that “beautiful smile that lights up a room” type of happy-go-lucky girl (As my 4th grade teacher would say). This girl who’s loud and fun to be around aka the LIFE of the party; that girl who doesn’t want the party to stop ……. That’s the problem ; that’s who you see … That’s who I allow you to see. I’m SUCH a good actress aren’t I? … because this girl inside , is dying … […]
but everyone I think that is suicidal or depressed, should listen to famous last word by my chemical romance. Mcr have got me through so much. But this song is special because of the lyrics, I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone. That song has gotten me through very hard times when I wanted to just end it and be reunited with my mom. So every one who feels depressed or suicidal should listen to that song. If not for you than for me. Please
Hello ,
I’m Desiree . 14 . sc . and I’m new to this. I’m contemplating on alot. My life is one big fat LIE … One big fat JOKE … and to be honest ; that’s all it’ll ever be. Things are going through my head right now … and it’s driving me crazy. I have NO ONE to talk to … I’m alone , lost , confused … Try living with 4 OTHER people in your house and none of them realize that all you ever are is sorry for making them so miserable. It’s 6:09 in the morning here and theres no one up […]
“if I’m lost at sea, tell my mother, my father, my sisters, my brother, my friends and my foes, and all my past lovers, that I will miss them so, but lord, I had to go.
Sorrows, to the sea,
We’re headed to nowhere, but nowhere is somewhere to me.
Take these broken things,
Turn them to something, but please don’t follow me.
If I’m lost at sea,
Tell my mother, my father, my sisters, my brother,
My friends and my foes, and all my past lovers,
That I will miss them so.
But lord, I had to go.
Imagine emotion that moves like the ocean,
You’re […]
Cut my wrists and black my eyes.
Thats all I ever do now. Cut my wrists and let my ex black my eyes.
I’m going back to him tomorrow…why? Because he loves me.
Dont you dare tell me that that isnt what love is. I’ll gladly wear makeup to cover my face.
I’ll gladly cut my wrists to remind myself what REAL pain is.
Getting beaten, raped, and verbally abused isnt pain, it’s life.
Sometimes when i stop cutting for a while, I forget REAL pain and I cry when he tries to hurt me…then i pick up my razor and slash my legs and wrists […]
This is going to sound corny and lame. I’ve tried to kill myself when I was 20 and when I was 22. I haven’t cut myself since for the last I want to say 3-4 years now? I have some larger scars higher up on my arms, and then smaller ones that really show if I some how let myself get tan all over my arms. It is kind of interesting… like you won’t see them until I point them out. So long I wear a shirt, no one sees the big scars, but at the same time I’m always some how reminded of my […]
Late last year I decided I was going to try get help for my issues. I started taking prescribed medication and I gained the courage to go see a psychiatrist again. In the past, I have had the type of psychiatrist that blamed me for everything and the type that just tried to fill me up with drugs. But this time I got one that actually helped. Sure we played video games a lot rather than just plain talking, but he never once tried to push me into anything I didn’t want to do or blamed me. I really started to feel better and even […]
i think the title says it all:/
I’ve been a kind of a fixture on SP for several months – some know me – others have never seen me. Some like me, some respect me, others hate me and think I’m full of crap and retarded.
I care about everyone – and I try to be positive and upbeat – strong for those who don’t feel they can take another step. I don’t “want” any of us to be here but that just isn’t realistic. and for many of us, ‘here” is a small piece of flotsam in and angry sea that will eventually but surely take us all … preferably when we’re old and grey … […]
And so the story goes:
Psychiatrist: “so what do you have at home to help you cope”
Me: “i have my music”
P: “explain”
M: “i play music. i play the piano, the guitar, the bass, the dru-”
P: “yea yea yea and what happens if you cant do that anymore?”
M: “umm excuse me?”
P: “if you couldnt play music anymore. how would you cope?”
M: “i wouldnt”
P: “what?”
M: “i would slit my throat and die. because without music, my life is meaningless”
P: “that’s a pretty weak support system if you ask me. something so tangible and fragile as music. i mean, what happens when you get older and your dream of […]
As someone who’s survived 3 serious attempts I wish to say that I have no intention of making it through number four. I’ve finally arrived at the conclusion that I’m statistically supposed to be dead by now and it’s not something which makes me feel better. I’ve seen so much pain on my short tour here on Earth. Humanity does little to stoke my optimism, in fact it does the opposite. I’m a vet, I’m mentally unstable, I’m single, I’m unemployed for the fourth year running and I’m almost homeless (I already was for 3 years.) A close friend who I met while being homeless committed suicide via alcohol and prescription […]
Yougettingtoknow@yahoo.com
I had a revelation today.
Wait, can you only call it a revelation if it has to do with religion, because I think after my last incident with a priest I won’t be having any revelations anytime soon. Oh well, point is I had a “light bulb” moment, and not really a bright one.
Pun not intended.
Let me take you back to my formative elementary school years: Here’s Violet Blake. She likes to wear foofy dresses with flowers on them and ribbons in her hair. Violet thought she was going to have so many friends, turns out, she was wrong. WAY WRONG. Instead of having a happy […]