And so the story goes:
Psychiatrist: “so what do you have at home to help you cope”
Me: “i have my music”
P: “explain”
M: “i play music. i play the piano, the guitar, the bass, the dru-”
P: “yea yea yea and what happens if you cant do that anymore?”
M: “umm excuse me?”
P: “if you couldnt play music anymore. how would you cope?”
M: “i wouldnt”
P: “what?”
M: “i would slit my throat and die. because without music, my life is meaningless”
P: “that’s a pretty weak support system if you ask me. something so tangible and fragile as music. i mean, what happens when you get older and your dream of being a musician is crushed by the hard hammer or reality?”
M: “oh really. what would you suggest, sir doctor”
P: “something real. something that can ACTUALLY help. Jesu-”
M: “shut the fuck up. we’re done here” *gets up and goes to my room*
fuck hospitals. fuck doctors. fuck treatment.
26 comments
If music is “intangible” what the hell are you supposed to grasp? A pill bottle? Fuck that. Music and song is everywhere and in everything. Even if you “couldn’t play” anymore, you could still sing or hum or listen to music. You’ll never be without music. If it helps you cope, by all means, play and listen.
Music IS in everything. If I somehow couldn’t listen to music anymore, I wouldnt hesitate to blow my brains out… And my grandparents can’t seem to get that I’m suicidal and NEED my iPod to cope. They NEVER listen. But this isn’t about me…
Amen. Fuck hospitals and those assholes that call themselves therapists like they’re supposed to fix everything only thing I learned from them is that I hate doctors. Keep coping with music that’s about all I have to cope idk what I’d do without it. It is very tangible and is more universal and stronger than any religion.
I was thinking that without cds/vinyl or ipods or the internet, basically if there was no way to listen to the music you enjoy… do you guys agree that music is also in nature? Or that you could survive without those things by your memory of them?
Therapists and Doctors will never understand. We all have our own crutch. It is something we depend on to have the strength to make it from day to day. Once that crutch is gone…… life becomes meaningless.
It is birds and hollow trees , the water music is really every where. You just have to look. Your therapist is highly mistaken and needs to open up their eyes and ears to everything around them. And if they were going to say the J word …then they must know music is in that too.
Yah I always play “anthem of the angels” in my head before I go to sleep I think of the words and it comforts me. Even without a melody music has a lot of meaning to me. Yah music is in nature the symphonic sounds of nature like the ocean are also comforting and the sound of the crickets chirping at night is like singing. Wind also has a sound to it that reminds me of a melody. I agree with you very much so.
I love how these people are paid to help kids in a suicidal state become stronger yet their only vice to do so is religion. like, honestly? no “believe in yourself. believe in what you can do” or at least “find comfort in the small things. like rain or sunsets.” nope. straight to god. i dont have a problem with others having their beliefs. i have a problem when people impose their religion on others
I’m glad you two agree. I think a lot of people really don’t pay much attention to the sounds of nature and think of it as music. I like the sound of the ocean too and rain, I like to hear crickets chirping at night, and birds in the afternoon (not a morning person, haha), I like the sound of the current in a river. It’s all very relaxing. I always play songs in my head throughout the day, and if I can’t sleep.
Yes I agree with you lostchild. When I was with a therapist it was imposed on me the doctors at the hospital told me to go or they will keep me in suicide watch until I did. It was the worst fucking week of my life. All I did was learn to manipulate him so I could pay my dues and give him what he wanted to hear which was that I was better. I wanted I figure this shit out on my own I don’t need some asshole telling me that I’m crazy and need to look to god for help.
Yes omg I forgot about rain the greatest sound of all 🙂 I love rain soooo much. Nature is virgin it is untainted and I bask in its glory hoping I too one day will be cast as innocent and pure
Yep, the rain is my favorite sound. Ocean is probably a close second. I agree about nature being pure. It really is. It saddens me when it gets destroyed for pavement and shopping centers and housing developments.
Yes it really is pure I and if it all turns into a wal mart or mini mall it would be the greatest tragedy. There are only so many things to enjoy that are free.
Ugh, turning it into a Walmart is the worst. The one closest to where I live has a ridiculously huge parking lot that’s not even necessary. Yeah, nature is free and it’s beautiful.
Yah wal marts the epitome of what the united states has become. I hope music and nature remain untouched and I don’t want to live to see that day.
I completely agree. I hope I don’t see that day either, but a part of me feels like I will.
Yah the way things are going with ads every possible inch humanly possible it’s depressing especially here in Detroit I hope things stabilize and don’t get out of hand.
Man, Detroit.. I dunno what to say. I actually live in a rural area in NJ. They’ve been trying to build up out here, though. It’s depressing, yeah.
Yah I live in a really shitty part too this government is really letting us down. New jersey huh at least it’s rural there I have trains coming by every 2 hours or so it sucks
The government is pathetic. They can’t do anything right. I’m sorry you live in a shitty part of Detroit. I don’t think I’d last in any city and I wouldn’t like the noise and chaos of it. I hate going somewhere and hearing trains and cars go by, it would suck to live with that every day and every hour.
Yah it really does The train is soo loud and there’s always police sirens stuff like that. I think I’d get lonely in a rural area though
Yeah, it is very lonely here and I’m already isolated, but the rural-ness adds to my isolation. It’s kind of like a ghost town at times.
I bet it’s hard to find jobs there hell its hard to find jobs in Detroit and everywhere pretty much
Yes, yes, it’s very hard to find a job. I’m sick of applying to places. The worst of it is, is that every where seems to require experience, and I’ve never had a job. I have no work experience or references, and I’m not given a chance because of that. It’s really discouraging because I kinda let myself get defeated easily. You also have to drive to get anywhere here.. no public transport to this area. I have my license, but I hate driving. Yeah, seems like it’s hard to find jobs all over the world. This economy is terrible.
Late on this but you did the right thing. Well, I wouldn’t exactly say the “right” thing. But I know sure as hell I would’ve done the same. Being fucking realistic. Jesus can’t “ACTUALLY” or literally help you. Music is in fact something that can make you feel better. It touches the heart in an indescribable way. I think we’d be shit without it. I respect everyone’s beliefs and if it really helps them get through life, then so be it, that’s great for for them. But don’t fucking throw that shit in someone’s face when they’re suicidal. It can be dangerous and make matters worse. Plus what if they’re an athiest? Ya know, it’s just not logical.
music is the only tangible thing, noone lies in songs, they dont need to, they can be everything they are and everything they want, hold on to music, dont listen to them.
Hi Lostchild, I love this dialogue, it’s classic! I too love the sound of the rain and I always felt a bit weird for it but it seems I’m in good company. I live in a good country for a rain-lover too…the UK. We have every different kind of rain here from a light drizzle right through to hailstones! Of course you might not want to be out in it getting soaked, but when you’re cosy and dry it’s a wonderful sound to hear.
I’m glad you find joy in playing music lostchild. I know you sometimes hurt to the point of wanting to die, but this is truly something worth living for. Zx