That Silly word. . . . . ” die ” it runs through my mind almost every momment of my day. Sometimes I just sit there reapeating the word over and over again, paying no attention to whats going on around me. Sometimes i think of carving the word “die” into my wrist, just to remind myself what needs to happen. ” Die”, “Die you stuiped whore”, “Die you worthless piece of shit”, ” Die becuase it’s for the best for everybody”, or ” Die because nobody will care” Those sayings run through my mind aleast twice a day, but i don’t mind becuase. In […]
Well, the title explains it all. All is left is to fix a date to suicide. I can’t seem to find the courage because I have to leave my family behind. All I’m worried about is what if I survived? What if I’m there lying on the bed and looking at my parents looking at me with full of disappointment. I gotta make it successful. I can’t fail this time. This has to be done. I can’t wait to end the misery, but I just don’t know when. Now it does, because I’m gonna do it all alone, and nobody knows about it. I […]
my name is robert, and i am having difficulties with life at the moment, i guess you can say that i am not as depressing , i am very strong actually but even the toughest can fall down sometimes. i have a emotional attachemtn problem , my problem is that i fell in love and i don’t know how to let go. it started of as friends typical right? but it was so great , the greatest friends you could find ;were not that regular we like to do the same things we love only horror movies , we like earie things ,murder cases,stuff like […]
Still wanna kill myself over a person who could care less.im going to eliminate that pian in my chest by putting a bullet through it.god hasnt answered a single prayer in 3mon.as a mater of fact thing just keep getting worse. I cant wait to taste the kiss of death.ill be leaving us soon its just too much to bear anymore.goodby all.she is worth death.seeing her with another man is worth death.my sadness is worth death.im such a coward.and am so selfish because there are many who love me but the one i want to doesnt.and thats worth death
What’s the point of living if my family doesn’t except me for who I am if I’m bi I’m that font try to change me to who I’m not I mean I’m not perfect or anything I’m me I’m the funny one I’m the one who gets blamed for everything I’m the one who doesn’t tell on anyone for smoking weed Im that one girl who comes out of the closet and wants everyone to be fine with it and not for the opposite I just wanna die and be with the people that I loved that god took from me I wanna die and […]
I came out I was bi to my mom and it wasn’t the reaction I expected it to be. I expected it to be tears of joy but it was tears of madness and anger and I started to cry cause i didn’t know why she was getting mad of the situation I mean aren’t u gonna be happy for me i came out to u cause I trust you and now I have no choice but to think to kill myself I mean why hasn’t god taken me yet i mean it’s my time to go :/
Will I suddenly feel better as soon as I’m out of high school. Is that the big change. I’m sorry, but one year is long enough.Â
I waited a while, it hasn’t changed much, or I’m too focused on one thing to see it. I, instead, have been going through shitty times (yet I may have over-exaggerated a bit) and that hasn’t really motivated me to keep going.
Please I don’t wan to wait any longer. A part of me wants to end it, it’s probably when I’m most depressed. There’s another part that wants to wait it out.Â
The problem with having 2 or more perspectives/personalities […]
Everyday thoughts of taking my life are becoming more of a reality to me. I worry tho about my sweet daughter jenni who is the happiest little ray of sunshine I have been blessed with. She’s 22 years old now, lives with her boyfriend and just lives life. My 20 year old son is so lost in this world trying to find his way. He doesn’t really need me because he’s he’ll bent to do every thing his way. He’s a good kid tho. My youngest daughter is 18. She just graduated from hs and thinks she knows everything. […]
i cant sleep anymore thats why i’m up right now, its really late where i am but i just cant sleep i never can for ages and i try i’ve tried everything, i don’t know what to do because even if i do sleep i have messed up dreams, and i hate staying up alone because when everyone else in the house is dead to the world and i can hear them sleeping i feel more alone and depressed than ever.
“What hurts when I remember this song is remembering how someone you love doesn’t love you back, aond you feel like it’s the end of the world. Little did I know that when the sun rises, a whole new beginning was looking at me, waiting for me. That beginning will always remembers you and returns when the sun sets. And when the going gets rough, the sun will be there for you until it sets. So in short words there is no end. Just a new beginning. ”
I feel like I haven’t written anything on here in awhile. Anyways, I’ve realized that sometimes life has […]
I wanna cut so bad tonight. The knife looks really tempting right now. Maybe just a few cuts… It won’t do much harm unless I can’t stop like last time, right?
About seven or eight year ago I moved to the UK with my grand mum. She’s great. The best I could have. Unfortunately I can’t say the same about my mum. Don’t get me wrong, I love her too, but there’s certain things about her I can’t forgive. One is the fact that she’d rather be a WOMAN than a MUM. It sounds quite strange doesn’t it? What I mean to say is that she’d rather be with her partner than with her children. It’s not AS horrible as it sounds, but it is rather bad. My mum and my brothers, they stayed back at […]
All that I ever was and still partially am is care. People say I am very caring and sweet. They say that I do things other guys never do. If I am so good then why do I feel so empty? Why do I long to feel that girl on my shoulder? Why do I long to do more?   But yet why do I feel myself losing care for all these questions to be answered? Is it possible that the pain has finally stopped, no it’s still there. The pain is trying to hide,looking for the right time to reappear. It is pretty bad nowadays when […]
I’ll start out by saying I consider myself “addicted” to suicidal thoughts. The thoughts begun as early as elementary school and continued to thrive throughout my life. As I prepare to leave everyone I know and move a 1000 miles away to college, I can’t seem to commitment to moving forward or ending my life. I have made one serious attempt, one which had me hospitalized for 4 months, and that was just 1 out of my 11 hospitalizations. Life has been a long and hard journey for me. I have learned the hard way the cons of acting on these thoughts. I also know […]
I’m torn between him thinking if I don’t do it I didn’t care, But if I do do it he might be mad that I left her behind. I don’t want to give my child a parentless life, but nor do I want to carry on with a Lewisless life. I can’t imagine the rest of my life without him, how bad he was hurting, all the things I’ll do without him, and how I’ll never see him again. This pain is just too bad, my heart is completely broken. As cliched as it is, we were one person. Soul mates, he said..
Every night. I cry. Sometimes a little, usually a lot.
And it’s like i’d be scared of what would happen if i didn’t
The stupid things i do to myself. I think they stop me going overboard
Recently i’ve been hurting myself a lot more than ever. I use to just get drunk or get high or worse
But i promised her i wouldn’t- not that i know why, it’s not like i’ll ever mean half as much to her as she does to me. But i get so scared of losing her i abide by that promise. So i just keep getting worse. And i just […]
Some days it’s easy to hate the reality of your own existence. Some times it’s simple to think there isn’t a point to getting by and getting on with life. Some how it’s simple to die on the inside.
Sometimes…but not always. Sometimes people bring you back from the brink- a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a best friend etc… Until they leave me also.
I used to think that it would take some kind of life altering event to cause someone to spiral down the rabbit hole of depression, that people were born happy or content and then we’re twisted by the world around us.
The more I think […]
Moving to Florida for a fresh start. Family knows all issues and very supportive. On another notes evil thoughts do not overpower me any more did break down while driving by the RR tracks I had planned to use. Life is ok
Nathan has left the premises. It is I, Rogue Shadow, who has taken his place. I chose to document my presence since Nathan seems to refer to me as his deity, savior, and hero. If only he would realize he can be everything I am, just by trying hard and not giving up. How shall I do it. If only I had more control over him.
Whether it’s true or not. It’s good to attempt a different perspective on it all. I took a small survey/quiz by the teacher. It was meant to see if you’re more rebublican (conservative) or democratic (liberal). I took it and […]