Get up and do something:  take a walk, ride a bike, do yoga, join a karate class, box, join a gym, join a pool, jump rope, lift weights, ride a skateboard, play with some kids, play baseball, volleyball, tennis, basketball, football, hockey, go skating.  Just get up, get out, and get moving!

If my mother could see herself when she is wasted,
If my father could see himself when he used to hurt me,
If my grandmother would realize that i don’t see the world like her,
If my brother could see how much i need him,
If my friends could put themselves in my shoes,
Maybe then they would understand.

A darkness has fell upon me,
One that has an insatiable hunger for my soul,
It’s been feeding on what happiness i have,
Draining the hope i have for it to stop,
Guiding me to unknown places,
With temptations of opportunities to feel better,

Food has lost it’s taste,
I have no appetite,
Sleep kills the high,
I had worked all day to reach,
(I feel sick…)

This darkness is consuming me,
Taking a firm grasp on my mind,
Making me more vulnerable,

The darkness,
it knaws at your thoughts,
injects you with it’s drug,
tears the flesh right from your bones,

After it has had it’s fun,
When […]

In the beginning there was nothing. it was all
so peaceful. it was void. and then a cockroach sized bug…

somehow it came into existence and start walking
inside void.

it was not evil. it was simply clueless and innocent.
it was a clueless innocent cockroach, but as it
walked…

every step it took, it somehow created sand particles
because in it’s mind or something, it believed it
was stepping on something as it was walking within
void.

it walked and walked and walked and it is still
walking to this date. new sand particles are being
created, more planets will form. and so on..

If you ever see that […]

sometimes when i get down its worse than other times, sometimes i cut more than other times sometimes i just go to my room and cry or scream until i get dizzy. but other times all i want is for somebody to notice that i’m down and give me a hug or tell me that they care about me. But nobody does. why dont they realise? nobody notices ever. i don’t want to tell anybody but if anyone i knew actually cared at all they might notice for once and ask me if i’m ok, nobody even asks, nobody understands me and i just want […]

The “mean girls” (such a cliche, I know) were spreading rumors about me today..all just because they don’t like me. The sad part is, I used to consider them some of my best friends. They told EVERYONE I suck dick. People kept asking if I did all day. It was horrible. People called me a whore & a slut in the hallyways. They said things like “Classy, not trashy..right Shannon?” I’ve never done anything to them. I hate them. I hate them all. People like them are the reason I drink & smoke & cut myself! They might as well just tell me to kill […]

Been emailaing back and forth with the smaratains past few days been really helpful and they have asked me some challenging questions but It still hasnt stopped me wanting to end my life. I feel so selfish and pathetic for wanting to do this

In 8th grade, I was 13, I was 5’5″, and I was 125lbs. I was teased for eating too much and being overweight, when in reality I knew I wasn’t. I knew at the beginning anyway. I’d been bullied my entire life, and I could shake this off easily.

For a while.

My eyes were convinced first. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat girl. An ugly girl. When I looked down at my stomach, I always sucked it in for about an hour afterwords.

My mind followed suit. I thought I was fat. I looked at every meal I ate and started trying to leave some every […]

This is such a weird, yet brilliant website. A place to explore each others internal thoughts, without having to know each other’s name. Reading each post here, I know more about some of these normally unheard people than the people who spend every day with them. Maybe some of the users of this website get annoyed by the use of this website by teenagers, sadly like myself. Anyone who has been through teenage years will blame it on hormones. “Everyone feels the same at your age” “This is normal” “Everyone goes through hard times in their teens” and I’m left feeling no better than I […]

That feeling of nothing where I move from place to place not smiling or laughing, not caring or caring.

Some would call this being present. Present and detached. All the demands made on me are met with silence. Even my own needs are met with silence.

Though I feel like crying I’m just to lacking in anything to do so. If tears fall let them for they will not affect me.

I’ve always been able to relate to some other in some small way, but very very few the other way around. And it’s ok now because it no longer affects me.

Like a favourite movie, […]

I have been through a lot – bullying, attempted murder, attempted rape, none-curable illness etc.. Each time I have escaped with my life, I have found inner strength and saved myself from suicide countless times. Each time I think to myself ‘things will get better’.. But I have yet to see any kind of manifestation of luck.

I am mentally ill. I have suffered with hallucinations, delusions and thought disorder for over a decade. The last year has been particularly hard following a fellow human being physically harming me.
I crumbled and asked for help for the first time ever in January, though I found the process humiliating I was […]

Within the next few weeks, I am going to commit suicide. I have wanted this for so long but as the day draws closer and closer I am noticing things that are going to be hard to say goodbye to and people who’s lives are going to be changed forever when I am gone.

Mom and Dad,

I have always had a horrible relationship with my parents. They suffer from depression and bipolar as well so they are not exactly the best parents. But I walk by their room and see them sitting peacefully, watching tv or reading, and I feel so horribly guilty because I know […]