Today I went to my cousin’s open house. There was this little girl there, 6 years old, that I had never met before. She saw me giving the other kids “airplane” rides and wanted one as well. She waited in line multiple times, until I was too exasted to lift anyone else. Then she wouldn’t stop following me, so I started talking to her. You know how little kids like to tell you really unimportant things and many times nobody truly listens to? Well I like to listen. I like to ask them questions and hear all the innocent things running through their heads. So […]

no really? whats good about me. NOTHING.

Hi.
Im Taegan.
Im a selfharmer. I really need help.
I dont know why god hasnt taken me yet, I have survided 2 diabetic coma’s , 3 three overdose’s and about 6 or 7 hospital visits from cutting my wrist in just about that right spot.
I have been called just about ever name in the book. I think I speak for everyone when I say this bullying needs to stop. I dont know why I am so suicidal. I shouldnt let this get to me. We shouldnt let this get to us. Whether youre gay,Bisexual,Lesbian .. or whatever you are. We are ALL human.<3 […]

I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve been depressed every single day since we broke up. It’s been two months now, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her and regret everything I did wrong. I’m in love with her, and there’s nothing I can do about it. She is always on my mind, and I just can’t live this way. I wish things were different, I wish we never broke up, but we did, and it was all my fault. I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow. It just hurts too much. I love her with all my heart.

I hate the fact that you make fun of and say mean shit about the one person that I really love…I hate that when my boyfriend broke up with me you showed no pity but you kick me out of the room when you want to talk to your friend who was stood up for his second date….I hate that I can’t get away, that there is no where to go, and no one to listen. And everyday that I think I want to kill myself and I talk myself out of it I find myself wishing I did kill myself the next day.

I just […]

Is it possible?

To be able to feel better simply by writing down feelings and thoughts?
Is that what I needed to do all this time?

After writing my first post I felt like shit, bringing all those memories back up again after spending so long trying to forget.  But now. Now- I feel better.  Lighter maybe, more resilient. Perhaps, dare I say it..  A little closer to how I used to feel.

Lets hope this thing sticks with me when I feel I need to bring up darker memories.

Fingers crossed.

And.. damnit.  Reading over what I’ve just written is making me question wether what I felt way back when […]

I’m only 13 years old and I self harm myself almost everyday. It all

when I was only 2 years old matter of fact I was not even 1. My

mother got MS and she lost her legs. The older I got the worst

everything become. I never went on a field trip or went to a friend’s

house to play. I had friends but the older I got the worst of friends I

got like the druggies, whores, bullies, liars, and abusives. When I

was in 6th grade I found a boy I liked tall, rocker, handsome, and

sweet. It was a thursday morning in the hallway when some of my

friends […]

My boyfriend is threatening to leave me if I don’t do something to make it up to him by midday. Fuck I’m so stupid I can’t think of anything. I rather die.

im not gonna say that my feelings for life doesn’t change every now and then. that would be a lie. i have good days and bad days like everyone else. and this lady’s and gentlemen is a really bad day.

no its not a bad day as in: someone f**** me over or i’ve been stabbed with a knife or my boss hates me or anything like that. its just the god damn feeling of being alive. people say its a lovely feeling. i think its gross and uncomfortable. and just FYI. don’t try and say that you know how to fix this or. just give […]

32 years my body will have been alive this summer 2012. Yet I am within this body, this machine of meat and bone and I feel nothing. I’ve always been like this. Flitting between crushing boredom and suicidal depression. I have never enjoyed anything and have never felt happy. I am so tired of struggling day by day. I gave up faking the normal attitude people and society expect from us years ago. I couldn’t do it anymore. It was after this that I was finally diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Looking back now it all fits into place. But this is a suicide help board […]

i am having this horrible time i wanna give up but i wanna have hope though now i have none i fear being alone i cant put up with being lonely. i CANT BE ALONE??? :/

my job finishes at 6pm, but now it’s 9pm and I’m at my desk still

not cause I’m working, just because I don’t know where to go or what to do

The person I want to be with is happy and contented with someone else

My life is rich on the commercial exterior, and hollow and empty within

i just walk the stage, empty and meaningless, wondering if I can get the courage to finally punctate this rambling and meaningless venture with a truly final punctuation point

I find a perverse companionship in reading all the posts here…  all our little miseries swept up together and piled neatly in a […]

I had stopped cutting & was actually doing much better with my..ex-boyfriend. Until he broke my heart:/ 6 months & 23 days of my life..gone. He’s gotten so bad..he got kicked out of school for drugs & he’s ruining everything for himself. I don’t think he knows how to stop..and it scares me. I have no concerns about myself at the moment. I love him even though he pretty much hates me:/ I want what’s best for him.. any ideas on how to get through to him?:/

I feel like I’m preparing to kill myself without even trying.  My depression is getting worse and worse.  I don’t take any meds except 5-htp, this natural supplement and who the fuck knows if it even works.  I definitely feel hopeless.  I’m alone.  All my friends moved away and have lives and I’m just their facebook friend now.  So, I deleted my facebook.  I was active on blogtv and had friends there, so I deleted that.  All I’ve kept is twitter and skype to talk to my online girlfriend but she’s getting fed up with my negativity and falling asleep while skyping.  She’s 3 hours […]

This post isn’t about me dying, that is for a little bit later today. No, this is about how i have now lost my second reletive to death in 3 weeks and i have to go to the latest one’s funeral on monday if i am alive.  yet i feel no remorse or saddness. only loathing for them… what does that make me???

Today I just feel so sad and alone. Yesterday I found out I won’t get the job of my dream because of a bad performance review by a manger that never liked me. Even though every one else in the office that worked with me back that was willing to write a review my new place won’t take it. I hated that manager then and I hate her even more now since I will never be able to put that job on any application I fill out.

I’ve already been unemployed for a while and am behind in rent and came home to find a disconnection notice from […]

i dont get it. why. why is the world fucked, why do we have bullies, why do we have shallow people if omfg people could just be nice to everyone do u really think people would feel as worthless as they do? i dont think they would. why cant people have faith in everyone, why is this world fucked? maybe thats where the saying life isnt fair comes to play but what just cause life isnt fair we have thousands of people who feel worthless and the need to die? that is the most fucked up thing ever in this world! why do we have […]

All my life no one has really had high hopes for me. No one has ever motivated me into doing anything. Only my oldest sister has went to college and she still can’t find a job. My mom tells me there is no point in going to college in today’s time.  Me I don’t care what my future holds. There is no future only a present. I get pissed off when I get treated like shit cause I have worked my ass off in school without ANY motivation to keep me going. I have done it all on my own. I decide always to work […]

Hi My name is Nikki… I am 15 years old and I have been cutting for a very long time.. I know what it is like to hurt and feel nothing but pain and misery. I have lost so many people to death and You know it is not fun.. I am not that skinny pretty girl at all. I lost a guy I was in love with to a person who felt the need to shoot and kill him. I felt the pain of loosing my best friend to a person who hit him with a car. I felt the pain to my grandmother […]

Depressed and down today. Depression kicking in. Wish I could have just stayed in bed all day.