That moment when someone tells you something that makes you feel worthless, stupid, unwanted..when all you can do is sit there and cry and cry until you cannot cry anymore, wondering why this happened to you, why people are so hurtful and careless, why the world is so cruel. That moment when you feel so alone, that everyone around you is elated, while you sit there, contemplating whether or not you should commit suicide, because you realize(or assume) that no one cares and no one will notice when you are gone, until it is too late. It is the most painful feeling in the world, […]
When I went to the nuthouse, I brought two books with me: Orhan Pamuk’s Snow and Gyorgy Konrad’s Stonedial. The latter is the closest I will ever have to a bible; every time I’ve gone somewhere new, that book has come with me. After all, Dragoman wouldn’t have walked through the double doors of the psychiatric hospital with shoulders rounded, arms clenched, flinching at every touch and trying to make himself as small as possible so as not to be hurt; Dragoman would have walked in like he owned the place, grinned, cracked a joke… he would have treated their confiscating of his clothing as amusing and, if I’m […]
Right now I feel like I should just get rid of myself, not only for my sake, but for everyone else’s. My parents are pressuring me into studying law, and I hate it. I’ve had to move from my home city to study it, and there is so much pressure on me to pass everything that I feel like my mind is going to explode. I’ve tried talking to my parents about how much I don’t want to be in this city and about how much I hate law, but they just keep telling me that I’m “wasting the opportunities in front of me”, and […]
I just don’t know what to do anymore! My parents are completely oblivious to me, and always wonder why I break out into crying(they hear me threw my wall) but don’t bother to comfort. My so-called friends call me names and talk about me behind my back, and think I’m worthless (I heard them say it, by accident of course). Even my younger brother (and mother) verbally hurt me, by calling me fat, worthless, and not worth their time. My mom cares more about her boyfriend than she does for me, and since I once cried at his house, every second I’m gone at my […]
I know right from wrong and I do understand God won’t put to much on ur plate but. Fu its not funny and I know ur toying with me. Well as my week turns I rear ended a brand new lexux. My x. Is playing control games. My parents leave town and the one day I do come home. My moms dog gets ran over chasing some person that was hiding in some bushes when I came home. Let me see death threats. And the only thing cool that happend is I’m clean and healthy and makeing my self […]
back in june 2011 my mom beat me, should i tell the cops?? it was a while ago but still child abuse
I remember a time where i could cut and then go on about my day with a fake smile as if everything was all fine and dandy. Cutting use to hold me together. It used to keep me sane. But now no matter what i do, or how much blood is shed i just cant seem to even pretend to be happy.I feel like i will never experience true happiness.
I never understood why people write letters before killing themselves. It always seemed sort of unnecessary and selfish to put the ones that stay under a letter apologizing why they did what they did because why did they do it in the first place? So I never understood why, until now. They write because it’s the last goodbye, it’s their last attempt to say they love who’s staying and they are sorry they couldn’t find a way out… They know it’s gonna hurt who’s reading it, they do, but they have to write it. It’s like when an old man decides to reveal his last […]
I’m done with my life. I can’t stand the raping and bullying at my school anymore. I can’t stand how my “friends” keep on back stabbing me. I don’t want to keep on having to cry myself asleep because of a guy who i love but for him i’m only another sex toy. I can’t take it how my family just watches from a far how i slowly brake down. And most of all i can’t take the people anymore who say they want to help but then turn around and don’t come back. Whats the piont in living if you only feel pain?! […]
I love giving advice and being a supporter, as well as receiving the advice and support.
If any of you need advice/support, text me. I actually care <3
605-223-0681
Today was one of the weirdest days of my life. I have been depressed since I was 10 years old. I’m 14 right now. I have attempted suicide 4 times. I have tried to drown myself, I have thrown myself down stairs trying to break my neck, I have tried strangling myself, and I have taken 15 pills. Today, I was bickering with my boyfriend John all day. We argued over him eating, me eating, and me cutting myself. First time we argued it wasn’t that bad. Then I told him that I was craving blood. He didn’t quite understand. So then I went upstairs to […]
It’s gettin harder each day to act like I’m ok.
I’m not.
I’m so tired of feeling like this, I want it all to end.
I can’t go on.
I wake up a and the feeling of dread washes over me like a tsunami of angst.
Upset I woke up at all.
This needs to end.
do i have borderline personality disorder?
i desperately want to know what i have why i have it and how i can fix it.
i dont know if these questions are ever answered but atleast i will die knowing that i did care enough to look for an answer. i want to be able to grasp what it is that is wrong with me and then be able to tackle it.
this empty feeling is consuming me. i want to be able to say that i can one day be normal. i want to be able to live my life, set goals and realize them.
Im in love with my bf but im not over my ex): painful.
What should i do?
Lost inside idk where to go
trapped with anger, lost of all hope
no finger pointing, only I who is to blame
Im shackled and caged filled FULL of rage
If I wrap this sheet around my neck
I can put water to the blaze
Satan got ahold of me, BOY is he vicious
gave up on myself, dont even care about christmas
miracles dont happen, so I accept my fate
trapped in my own mind there is no escape
razors and knives pierce thru my heart
misery filled conscience, stand alone in the dark
nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
failure hurts, I just want to die
written in summer of 2011, but just bought my charcoal grill […]
Heart breaks into millions, im still standing, You chase me down and broke it when I.was trying to believe and dream but these scars wont bleed because the one I love took it all.
PLEASE WATCH. i think it’ll help.. it would mean a lot to me if you did.<3
http://m.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.youtube.com%252Fwatch%253Ffeature%253Dplayer_detailpage%2526v%253D8PtcOjrGGIU&h=pAQGJD02K
I will continue facing life with pain, heartbreaks and of course the pressure of society. Im falling apart but i would rather feel pain then dealth because I have the power to decide. Imiss the smiles and kisses you gave me but I face the prints on my neck and face just to know at the end you love me.
I looked up the signs of a controlling bf & he fits every sign it seems like. What can I do to try to fix our relationship. I’m depressed and suffering..
I have read many of the stories here. Its funny I never read any of these where somebody has said to themselves that at that exact moment that they are feeling so down and out that someone else in the world is a lot worse off. I don’t say this to be mean, Its just something I have learned to use in my own life “empathy”. I know the daily struggle of suicide. I myself have been locked away in the bin a few times. I too am a cutter and burner and lots of hitting in the head and face. I have thoughts of […]