Hatred and numbness

Hahaha nothing really matters anymore and no one acts like they care so why should I. My hatred for everyone who talks/looks at me continues to grow. I care for almost no one and like i said they don’t seem to care about me. I wake up feeling numb and emotionless my nightmares wake me up in the night giving me the only sense of emotion I have.  I hate life tonight i think i am going to try suicide for the 4th time and it most likely won’t work ( let’s just say I would make a really sucky murderer) and when it doesn’t work it will most likely result in me cutting which disappoints the people that never care unless i hurt myself and then after they yell at me they act as if it never happened. I feel like hurting someone other than myself for once. Peoples ignorance infuriates me I really hope they enjoy their care free life and it would be nice if they would stop whining about how the stuff they have isn’t enough. lets see were they abused for 3 years and did they tell their parents who didn’t believe them until they herd it from their little brother most likely that would be a no. Tomorrow it will have been a week since i last cut. I honestly think it isn’t that great of an accomplishment and i really don’t care nothing i do is fun it has been that way for a while now and so it doesn’t effect me. everyone i see makes me want to punch them in the face i don’t care what happens to me anymore i want to get in a fight i know i will lose just so i get hurt by some one other than myself. well sorry for ranting it was probably boring and pointless but at least i got to vent so again sorry if it bored you to death.