This time of the year is literally so hard. It is hard for me to concentrate. I hate making excuses for myself but I just try to close up this time of year. Daddy has been gone for three years now and it doesn’t get any easier. I miss him so much. There are so many anniversaries this time of year. Nov. 29th, 2012, the day I had to call the cops on my own mother because she tried to fight me in the street. Nov. 30th, 2012, the day my daddy died in my arms. Dec. 8th, 2012, the day I planned, all by […]
Tag:
2012
Fuck December. My grandma died 4 days before Christmas 2012, and my other grandma died 2 days before Christmas 2014. My great grandma died a few days ago, she was 98 though so. I hope no one dies on Christmas this year. Regardless, fuck this month and everything it brings. And to think, before 2012, this was my favourite time of year.
2012. 2012 was the first time I came here. First time I set my eyes on the town called Elliot Lake. Unimpressive at first glance, and even at third. But it had a way of growing on me. Like a bad dream that had an encouraging meaning underneath the fear. The rehab center looks just like how I left it – except at night it seems to have a haunting glow of a bittersweet nostalgia.
The Oaks center. The family program. If there’s rehab for growing up in a fucked up broken home – this is the one. Program was a joke and it was horrible […]
This song, explains my life exactly.
RIP David Gold (vocalist) died in 2011 of a car crash in Ontario, Cananda.
Just want to first say this:
IF YOU ARE ON HERE READING THIS PLEASE FORCE YOURSELF TO FIND REASONS NOT TO AND THEN COME UP WITH A RADICAL BUT ACHIEVABLE PLAN FOR BEGINNING TO LIVE AND EMBRACE LIFE AGAIN.
YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE, EVEN IF YOU CAN’T RECOGNIZE IT RIGHT NOW.
PAIN, DARKNESS CAN BE OVERCOME.
* * *
Have attempted suicide a few times, most recently 2007 (carbon monoxide, more impulsive and less deliberate) and 2012 (overdose, deliberate and methodical).
2012 was closest to date; received dialysis twice and woke up convinced I had irreversible brain damage. Realize that my resolve to succeed each time is growing and […]
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
In december of 2012 i tried to overdose myself. it obviously didn’t work because I’m typing this now. I’ve had some really serious problems with my mom but i mean most teenage girls do too… we haven’t fought in so long, but now here it is happening again the same way it used too, and here i am again just feeling more and more alone. I guess this is me just reaching out for help before i get completely hopeless. comment if you would like too.
I think it’s really nice how some people on this site just wish others good luck, for there suicide to be quick and peaceful rather than trying to convince them otherwise and probably just make them feel more pathetic. It’s also very cute reading through the comments and seeing that someone out there has made a difference to somebody and helped them through. It’s also great to see people finding others out there who feel exactly the same as they do and others offering there contact details so they can talk things through. 🙂
On another subject I wonder how young some people are when […]