I am so alone. I can’t tolerate it anymore. There is no one that I can talk to that can understand how sad I am let alone provide any advice to assuage that sadness. I don’t know what the point is in existing anymore. My life is a spectrum of torture.
I am handicapped, suffocated by mental illness.
Around four years ago I’d just encountered my first heartbreak. It was awful. She was my German girl and I was her American boy.. But, it wasn’t meant to last, I’m afraid, as she cheated on me. Tough break, kid lol. Anyway, I was a complete and total mess. Food held no taste. Drink held no joy. I basically just smoked cigarettes and played guitar 24/7. I’d eat just enough to get by, but only because I was constantly hounded about no eating.. Christ, I wrote some terrible songs lol. They were horrible. Lol I didn’t know that then, however. But anyway, this went on […]
I’ve recently been diagnosed with bad depression and anxiety. I cut myself often and have been suffering from insomnia recently. The only reason I haven’t killed myself yet is because I would be leaving behind the best boyfriend I could ever hope for.
I haven’t been able to discuss these issues with my mother because she doesn’t believe in depression. She thinks people with depression are just weak-minded. She doesn’t even know that I’ve been diagnosed with depression.
She treats me like shit, and gets frustrated when I lock myself away. The suicidal thoughts are getting worse, and I’m getting scared.
What do I do?
I try. I try to do everything. I try to keep you happy. I try to really hard to keep you from getting upset. I try to get everything done. I try to finish what I start. I try to make you happy.
I try to be a good mom. I try not to give too much advice or leeway, but it seems I just cant find the right balance.
I try to be there for you when you need someone. I try to make myself available to you for just about everything. I try to make sure your always comfortable. I try to keep […]
Some people think life is so easy.. so easy to take.. to live.. life is so fucking easy when you are speaking your own language… but what if I can’t hear it? What if I can’t see it?
Think positive?
Thinking positive isn’t the same as what some would think… A positive notion to me would be if I just so happened to not wake up tomorrow. It’s not that I can’t make my life better (which I probably can’t) it’s that I don’t want life. I hate life. People can’t understand that, and I’m so confused as to why everyone isn’t born with […]
So I have the method: helium hood. I have the plan all laid out. I have the relevant notes all prepared (albeit in my head). I know how I will do it, I know how long it will take, what will happen to my body, where and how I will do it in such a way that causes minimal fuss for those who will find me.
I’ve had this plan for a long time, I have replayed it in my head almost daily – what stops me is the thought of messing up my two children, they’re only young. How to get them to understand? How […]
So.. I’ve beenn seriously contemplating suicide. I have so many support systems, but I’m just not sure if i can do this anymore. It’s too much
I have a weak heart because I had anorexia, and my doctor has to watch my potassium levels because of that. Too low, my heart stops beating. Too high and I have a heart attack. I’m incredibly depressed and I don’t know how to do this anymore. Should I kill myself? Is this suffering going to justify me checking out early? Does anyone know of your body will reject (throw up) an overdose on potassium? How do I make things […]
Goodbye, From AnonKun (I have replaced my real name with AnonKun whenever it appears)
I am very aware that many readers of this note may be surprised upon discovering it that I committed suicide. Please know that this was not a spur of the moment decision. This is not a decision I made lightly, or one that was imposed on me by people, society, or circumstance. This is a painful decision I made after years of on and off suffering with no logical conclusion or end in sight.
To address what is likely the most immediate question, I will explain why I chose to take […]
” Maybe less than an hour ago, I called my ex boyfriend, sobbing, feeling like I was having a panic attack.
I broke up with him last Friday because of a stupid reason. I couldn’t control that his dad was making him work when I made plans for us a week in advance to go whale watching. We had been dating for 8 months. He broke up with me two times before because of stress; I can be a hard person to deal with on top of work and expenses of diesel.
Anyways, I was his first girlfriend ever (I’m 16, junior, soon to be 17 and […]
So I finally did it… I finally somehow gathered the courage after almost 10 yrs of torture to make a dr appointment and attempt to somehow see if I’m “fixable”… I’m so afraid. I’m not sure if I have the courage to keep the appointment. My brain keeps spinning telling me thinks like “you’re not worth the help.” “You’re too far gone for anyone to save you” “you don’t deserve to be fixed” .. Then it’s like “maybe you should just say fuck it and try” so I think well maybe I should.. Then I think well maybe if I just answer their questions to […]
Tomorrow I’ll tell about my thoughts and my cut to the doctor.
I fear for the comment but I gotta do it. thank you everyone who gave me advice
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hello there fellow SP readers im in need of some advice or guidance im so lost right now and for months the only solution to my problems is suicide.
My problems: Legal issues- im looking at some serious time for a crime im innocent in
Because of my legal issues im out of a really good job and i cant afford my bills and have missed many payments now
Im gonna be paying for my lawyer for the next 10 years for something i didnt do
everyone in my town hates me because of the way the media portrayed me and i cant leave […]
I honestly believe I live a privileged life. My parents have wealthy paying jobs, and I am able to go to a very nice high school. Nothing awful besides the deaths of my loved ones, and regular crappy teenage drama has happened in my life. I’m lucky. I’ve never been abused or assaulted, but I’m still sad. I was briefly bullied in middle school, but who hasn’t been in their own way? No matter how many incredible things happen in my life, I somehow fall back into a dark place. I have periods where I am so happy, and then I have times where I […]
I may be new to this site, but I’m not new to being emotionally and mentally damaged, nor am I new to being around people of all different backgrounds who are just as emotionally and mentally damaged.
I been hearing quite a few things about adults coming to sites and chat rooms for depressed or suicidal teens in particular hell bent on picking up as many impressionable individuals as possible in hopes to find a few victims to prey on.
Let’s face it, a lot of emotional teens can be easy to take advantage of, sometimes you don’t even have to try. I used to help a […]
Spent quality time with mom and got a new pair of shoes for seventy percent off.
But the best part of my day was hearing from a friend who I haven’t seen in a few months. She asked me for some advice regarding a farewell gift for her co-worker. It’s always enjoyable speaking with her. She is an absolute sweetheart.
I know sometimes you don’t want the seemingly useless advice people give you. That’s what I’ve seen anyway.
Im not a therapist; I myself am not in a decent state, but if you want to talk about anything and everything without constant advice feel free to contact me.
georgiahjones@googlemail.com
Hello everyone,
I know this question has been asked here before, but I wanted to ask it again now to see if I could get some updated information anyway. I hope you don’t mind.
Does anyone here have any experience with Zoloft / Sertraline / Lustral that you would be willing to share with me? I tried some other anti-depressants a couple of years ago, but they turned me into a “zombie”, so I’m wary of trying again — so I thought I’d come here to look for some help or advice. Thank you in advance.
(I realise that all of them are bad in one way or another) but I want to know specific ones I should definitely avoid. I’m going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow and the nurse told me that because of my assessment results I will most likely be prescribed antidepressants, so I want to come in prepared. I would be very thankful if any of you could advice me on this; I don’t want to get side-effects that will make me feel worse than I already do.
Im new to this site but im hoping it will help me not feel so alone. Is there anybody out there who has ever cut? I’ve had a history of cutting for a few years, luckily I quit for the past year…. but today ended that. Old feelings came back and I added new scars to my body. I apologize if this sounds depressing. But is there anybody who can give me advice on how to quit once and for all?
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