I recently had my girlfriend (who I thought was the love of my life) somewhat leave me. I thought that she was the one, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She made me so happy, that I couldn’t imagine life (or living) without her. When we first started dating, I felt the happiest that I have ever felt in my life. We were so in love, and she would look in my eyes and all of my problems went away. But now I just feel alone, I haven’t seen her in like two weeks, and she won’t reply to […]
Tag:
alone
The only person I want to talk to and felt comfortably doing so doesn’t really appreciate me anymore, although she is my “best friend” and ex-gf. All my “friends” are kind of tired of me. I’m just really alone and I want to end this. I’m fine with my reasons.
Not sure how to do it. I thought about the helium method but I have no idea where to get that and no money too.I even thought about jumping off of a bridge, but the tallest bridge in my city isn’t tall enough.
Well, found out that I can get a helium tank, not sure about the […]
Reality sucks, Reality suck, Reality boring, I hate Reality, boring Reality, Reality is boring !
by niki
written by niki
Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]
And its days like this where I feel completely alone & unwanted. Theyre all upstairs laughing & cheering each other over a game on their ipads.
I just went up to go to the toilet & he looked up & his face told me to fuck off. Quite literally.
I had so many dreams & aspirations… I just wish my body hadnt betrayed me.
My birthday is always a difficult one for me to swallow. I’m always alone, depressed, thinking of what it would be like to be released from such a hell.
I see people my age hand in hand, laughing hanging out having a good time, enjoying life. I’m alone and in pain that has become so familiar it’s like an adopted friend I can always count on to be there. The familiar sting, burning sensation I almost swear is right under my skin as the pain wraps it’s arms around me in a loving embrace.
I had a girlfriend who recently broke it off and told me, she […]
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always felt alone. Even though I grew up around a loving family, had siblings, cousins and friends, I still felt absolutely alone. I have always had this yearning to belong, to feel loved and to feel connected to someone or something.
I’ve always kept a diary and I use that to vent my frustrations or to release anything that I thought about obsessively. Now, at 28 I feel more alone than ever before. I truly feel like no one cares about me. Throughout my life, I’ve cried so many times and have felt so much unexplainable hurt and […]
Love to me is the look in my families eyes, my Mothers regrets and pain stab me through my Iris and cut through my heart when I glimpse into her aura. Bipolar has take over the family since the beginning, and my family still wonder why they are all so confused yet so content. I cannot lie to another, it burns my soul if I have to deceive another.
Every day is a reminder of my childhood, sitting against the cold damp step, hugging the bricks hoping to generate bodily heat. Alone and cold. This was my earlier realisation coming into action. “I am alone in […]
I like it when my roommate leaves me home alone, because then I can cry in peace.
Eitheror Diabolic
Forever Minotaur in labyrinth
I am the only and I know it
An eternal lock of chain
One day, when I walk alone
Until then, all in my hell
Will I ever become a clown
Can I dance like a bug fly
Magnificent like a Scyther
I need to, I need to
Break me, break me
The undead in the desolated amass
All that remain is a pain that exist
Eitheror Diabolic
So im 18, I know what everyone will say, you still have so much to live for. Well honestly I dont, my life is so fucking shit. Im seen as unattractive and stupid, I feel so alone all the time. I used to have confidence and talk to girls, but I got regected countless times. There is no one out there who actually appreciates me. So there was this one girl who I thought was perfect, we talked about everything. When somehow I managed to screw that up as well. Sucide is something ive comtemplated way to much for my age. If life doesn’t improve […]
My first memory was when I was three, I was in a store and running from my father, I had this little pony tail, and my dad grabbed it and pulled me back, slamming the back of my head onto the ground. I don’t remember anything after that… and then the next memory I remember is when I was at this “Mental Hospital” I was about 5 years old, and had just woken up inside this room, there was no padding, there was a vinyl floor, everything was white or close to it, there was no toilet, no sink, no bed, no cot, no pillow, […]
I feel so alone in a group of people. I dont know what I have become. I used to be so happy all the time. I used to be so care-free. I honestly dont know what happened. Over the course of 2 years I became so cold. I never let people in (in my personal life) anymore. I don’t want to say I have bipolar depression, but I know that is not the case. But there is something different about me. Everyday is a battle for me. It is become such a battle for me to even get out of bed in the morning. I […]
Living and killing myself are both just too hard and take too much effort. I am tired of exerting myself everyday, trying to appear like I’m normal and belong on this Earth. All I want to do is lie in bed, put blankets over my head, and somehow stop my incessant thoughts. If I did this though, I would once again be treated as if my personal rights did not exist. My space would be invaded once again. I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything again on my own. My overprotective parents wouldn’t let me sleep alone or do work in my room alone or […]
I feel that the world should pay and those i envy should feel my pain. Why cant i be like him, he is beautiful fits in and finds friends anywhere. I lock myself away from the world my soul it hollows every day. When i feel pain it makes me feel alive again, oh what i would do to feel joy and to be alive. I wish we could trade places but then i dont wish this feeling on anyone to everyone. Sometimes i want to go out on a bang so my message could be hurd unlike every other suicide that is forgotten. Other […]
I don’t know what to do right now….
I keep telling my self that i’m not alone because i have friends to talk with but i still feel so alone….
I keep smiling at them tell them jokes show them that i’m happy but i’m really not….
I don’t even know if they really care about me….
I want to be notice but no one would notice me….
I feel like i’m giving up even if I don’t want to….
and sometimes i think “what if i disappear would someone care or search for me?”
and i keep thinking of these negative thoughts….
please help me i don’t […]
So, I never thought i’d be trying to talk to people online for advise but here goes nothing… Iv’e been with many women trying to find that one girl and all of my relationships have never really lasted long because I just emotionally refuse to fully give myself to someone until my last relationship. I hope you won’t judge but my last relationship was online in an online game me and my friend used to play and I met this girl, she was really nice and I was getting in to her and I could feel she liked me and just when I was getting […]
At the suggestion of a few of you on here, I have set up a Go Fund Me campaign.
Here is the link to my fundraiser.
http://www.gofundme.com/youngwidow
Please share this link with anyone that you think might be willing to help. Even $5 is greatly appreciated.
Those of you who have read my posts and interacted with me on here probably know this about me already. I’m not the kind of person to ask for help. I’m the stubborn person who always tries to fix my problems all by myself. Maybe that’s why I’m in such a horrible situation right now. Perhaps the Universe is trying to […]
I’m sure now. I bought a ticket to another place, I don’t want my parents to find out. I live in a very shitty country, so they won’t know this way. I’ll go to the mountains and eat some mushrooms, alone. Bye.
I found a supplier online who claims to sell ********. I emailed them saying I would like to order 1x 100mg of a ******** Solution for $450 (the price that they have mentioned). They requested that I transfer the money via Money Gram. I’ve never heard of Money Gram before let alone used it so I asked if I could pay via PayPal. They replied that PayPal have froze their account because they don’t support voluntary euthanasia. I did some research and there is no consumer protection for Money Gram as there is with PayPal. Do you think that I am being scammed? Or is […]
The day he was born I no longer felt alone.
He was mine to protect.
I failed.
That night, he saw.
He saw my blood.
He saw my cuts.
He heard my tears.
My biggest failure of all: I failed him.