im aaaaaaaalllllllllll alone with rare health problems and bipolar. aaaaalllllllll alone. hopeless and poooor. cant have kids, no sex drive, ED, tired. Went to college and poor. im black. did i mention i was poor? aaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll alone. no sex drive. low testosterone. bipolar. cant keep a job. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll alone. no woman for me. im crazy. i wont live life anymore in a sick mind and broken body. i hate being black. im gonna die
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alone
Hello All,
I m new to this site
Why cant please my GOD i do the things i dnt want to do as apostle paul said, But I love GOD but not able to please him , i feel loneliness in the world fear to speak with people evryone in the world are cruel no humans exists , sometimes i feel myself lost many tyms felt ending up my life, I lov BIBLE, JESUS , My god father but i m sinner i m lost , y cant god help me and stop me from sining , He left me alone in this cruel selfish world, I […]
I stared at my wrists,
Thin, pale scars stared back.
I promised everyone I would quit,
Mainly so they would leave me alone.
Words running through my mind.
Words carved on my arms.
Hate, ugly, fat, unloved.
The words that made me feel so small,
Permanently carved into my skin.
Everyone thinks I’m doing better,
that all the harsh words have stopped.
But they haven’t.
Everyone thinks I’ve stopped cutting,
But no one ever checks thighs.
It’s all funny because.. I’m so tired I’m probably delirious, right? And that’s what makes everything seem like such a big joke. And I’m sleepy tired, I’m emotionally tired, and I’m mentally tired. I’m tired of walking on the road of *life*, walking down one path until it splits between a good path and a vile one and I always take the latter. It’s not like I can even choose, it just happens. A friend of mine said he never believed in fate, and I whole heartedly agree. But I also so strongly disagree. Life is something you have control over. You make the desicion […]
i shouldnt ask this retorical question…. Â but would you be mad if i killed myself?
to be honest, i think im ready. Â nothing more will come of my life. Â i wont ever be happy, ive realised…. Â so the is no point…
my goals just keep going to shit and i decide on something lesser… Â to the point where i dont with to be happy anymore, i just wished to end the fruitless pursuit of happyness…. Â and now… Â i wish i can end this…
i cant do this anymore and im sorry if i dissapoint you… Â sorry if im wasting my voice or whatever you think it is that […]
How Depression Has Changed Me for the Better…A Message of Hope
Remarkably, two years from its onset, I’m still alive; still fighting. By some odd twist of fate, I’m still here…still on this beautiful earth that once was forgotten in my mind. I’m still here to speak of the taboo disease that is depression…this stigma that is an incomprehensible sadness. The sole disease that many encounter, yet the sole disease that no one wants to admit to. The sole disease that is so easily swept under the rug. The sole disease that is too disgusting to talk about, so it’s kept to a whisper. The sole […]
Depression is such an awful thing, I sit here looking through my window at the warm sunny day outside, at the people walking past in summery clothes, happy and content with their lives, I want to join them and yet, I struggle to get up out of bed, I struggle to get ready, let alone go out, all I have is an emptiness within me best suited to the cold; yes, I feel it most on warm sunny days.
I’m not a stranger to happiness, I’ve experienced the sensation on a multitude of occasions, but those were obviously short lived. Everyday, I witness at least one individual who seems outwardly pleased, happy even. These people are usually middle class or above, with clean clothes, nice teeth, smiling faces, and an excess of money that they intend to spend on those things that make them happy.
What kinds of things make me happy? Well, right now all I can think about is food. But who am I kidding? I can’t afford that shit.
There are just some people in the world that won’t live happily, mainly because […]
Remarkably, two years from its onset, I’m still alive; still fighting. By some odd twist of fate, I’m still here…still on this beautiful earth that once was forgotten in my mind. I’m still here to speak of the taboo disease that is depression…this stigma that is an incomprehensible sadness. The sole disease that many encounter, yet the sole disease that no one wants to admit to. The sole disease that is so easily swept under the rug. The sole disease that is too disgusting to talk about, so it’s kept to a whisper. The sole disease that is too embarrassing to ask for help, so […]
Please someone, Anyone….Help me….I wanna die so badly right now, and i have no one to talk to…Please… Just Please….Talk to me…Don’t leave me alone….I don’t wanna be alone anymore…
I’m scared of being myself. Sometimes i have really bad days, & other times I’m extremely sad. My heart is broken, and I’m a huge mess. I’m scared that I will be alone forever.
What did I do that was so bad to deserve this? Why do I have to feel miserable my whole life I can’t ever have any happiness. As soon as I thought I found Somone that really made me forget about all my problems. “Snap” it’s gone I’m accepting that fact that iv lived alone my show life so I’m going to die alone. That’s fine but I wish I can just die why do I have to go though hell my whole life and kill my self why can’t got just kill me already. Their is no plan for me things aren’t going to […]
I’ve been ‘suicidal’ for awhile. I’ve attempted, been hospitalized, and seen counselors. I never told anyone the real reason, deep down. I told enough to convince people but I was afraid to share the real stuff.
Last night I was writing my suicide note when the closest person in my life, unknowingly, helped me. He started throwing these rubber toys at me and it made me laugh. He’s been teaching me how to shoot rubber bands, too.
But after he went home, and I was there all alone, I knew that I was on the very edge. And one little game wouldn’t take me back to that […]
I feel like i love this person, and its impossible, because they will never love me back. this is eating me away and i dont know how to deal with any of it. i just really want to talk to someone about all of this. the bad thing is, im afraid if i admit it to someone, itll be so much worse. i know i need to talk to someone, if not, ill just explode. either way, this is slowly killing me.
Sad, lonely and depressed. This is how I feel as I look at myself in the mirror, The names they called me still burned my memories, and filled my eyes with tears. The snickering behind my back, the laughing at me, the pushing in the halls and the notes filled with what they think is wrong with me. They tortured me for no other reason other then they felt like it, and they could. It didn’t just stop at school. Nope, thanks to computer, they can follow me everywhere. And when i pretended that it all was okay, i made it much much worse then […]
I feel so alone all the time, its killing me. Its  like i look around and see all these things going on and i just feel so distant from them. Im turning 18 and graduating next week, yet i feel no excitement whatsoever. Ive been going through so much lately, mentally and physically its really wearing me down. I dont know how to cope with any of this because i have no one to talk to. if i tell my best friend, she will just worry, if i tell my mom, she will worry. i cant worry about someone else worrying for me. it sounds […]
I want love but I don’t know how to obtain it. I had a boyfriend for 2 years…I just feel so lost now. It’s been long enough to move on…he’s moved on. I just don’t know how to anymore.
I’ve been cutting at work, probably not the best idea but I mean, I’m alone there for 10 hours a day with nothing to do but talk In a mic. It becomes inclusive at that point, I don’t know what to do anymore at this point. Grr
As a mmo gamer I find myself tragically stuck in the role of tank. I can’t help but feel life beats on me a little more than others. It is selfish to think that way, because everyone is fighting their own battles, playing their own parts, but sadly I think I am just to perfectly fitted to this part. My nature is to protect, to take the first hit, the last, and each one in between. I feel like I care far too much to fit in properly in this day and age. The only thing I want is to help people smile, and to […]
I just want help or maybe to stop living or run away from everything. I’m at university and I have friends but I’ve lied and cheated to everyone and haven’t lived up to my parents reputations or expectations. I want to be alone away from everything. I think about killing myself but more than anything I want my guilt and sadness to stop. I feel awful and horrible for the way I’ve acted but I can’t go back on my actions. Apologizing to people 4-6 months after the fact doesn’t solve anything. I feel horrible. I just want to be done with everything. I can’t […]