Sad, lonely and depressed. This is how I feel as I look at myself in the mirror, The names they called me still burned my memories, and filled my eyes with tears. The snickering behind my back, the laughing at me, the pushing in the halls and the notes filled with what they think is wrong with me. They tortured me for no other reason other then they felt like it, and they could. It didn’t just stop at school. Nope, thanks to computer, they can follow me everywhere. And when i pretended that it all was okay, i made it much much worse then it was. I let them walk all over me, I let them tell me who i am and what i am. I’m a freak, a monster, and a loser that no one wants. When it started happening I closed myself off and refused to talk to anyone, sometimes I wish that It was a horrible nightmare. The kinda nightmares that make you wake up scream, and crying. I am scared of going back to school im scared of all the people that push my around like im nothing but what im most afraid of is that they’re right about me. That im not good enough to be breathing right now…
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5 comments
I can assure you you are better than every one of them. That is most likely why they are doing it.
You represent some sort of vulnerability in them that they are afraid of. You might have cultivated a greater self-respect, you may have a talent you aren’t even aware of.
The greater you are intrinsically, the more violently people will rip you to shreds.
You are probably a fabulous human being and that makes some people insecure and cruel.
I don’t know that it gets better when you are older (I am near thirty). But you get stronger and are able to choose the people you surround yourself with more.
You didn’t mention suicide, which actually frightens me more than if you had.
Let me just say this: I do believe everyone has a right to suicide. But never do it on account of these pricks.
Hang in there.
Their hatred has nothing to do with you other than you are there. You have no bearing on their cruel actions.
Sometimes we encounter shitty people. And sometimes a whole lot of them in one place.
to be honest i left the parts out of when or god knows how many time i tried to kill myself but i don’t like talking about it because i failed each time
Cyber bullying is the new evil of bullying because it follows you wherever you go, people will say why don’t you just switch of the internet but in the modern interconnected world that is impossible especially for a young person and why should they. There have been a few suicides in my country because of this cyber bullying, it’s so sad that people have died over this, stay strong red_fairytale.
can’t wait to leave high school
Hi Red,
Good to hear you´re doing alright. At least you now have a hope of leaving high school and that is really special and promising to look forward to. Things will look very different after that I can tell you that much.
So happy to hear you are fighting, but don´t give in to those negative remarks about you; it´s very difficult to convince yourself to think otherwise when being under so much pressure. Never submit yourself to things being said about you. It´s so very hard and I know your self-esteem must be very low now but gradually – especially after high school – it will hopefully get better.
It´s so sad that nowadays people can get to you no matter where you are through the internet and other apps. Still, dear Red do not let other people dictate your worthiness in this world. You are a precious, lovable and better than any of the bullies surrounding you. That´s not easy to believe and sounds like a cliché, but as you age, you will realize it was true.
Be proud, be strong and never forget how unique and wonderful person you are. Keep your head high and take it day by day. Best wishes. 🙂