I’ve always been independent. Independent and mature, people called me. Even when I was a little girl. And I’ve always been the type of person that likes to be alone a lot of the time. I’m tough, I’m strong, and I stand alone. I don’t think about love very often. I don’t want a relationship or to get married; at least not now. I’m eighteen years old; I’m just a baby, people tell me. And that never made sense to me. Wasn’t I the “mature” one? But it all makes sense when it comes down to those moments when everything is dark, both outside my […]
From the beginning, there was always something that didn’t feel right. That I was missing some kind of feeling everyone around me always seemed to have. My biological father had fucking issues, and I never got to know how it felt to have a father. Sure, it sounds like it isn’t something big, but it’s what followed that only made the situation worse. Thankfully my mom and grandparents were saints, but then she met someone else after the divorce. He acted all nice and caring and ‘father like’ in the beginning to get to my mom’s heart, then they got married and he made my […]
Man I just heard the awesomely funny and always profound”What do you do with a Drunken Sailor?”Shane Fucking MacGowan people!!!! OH this guy…a living miracle.More saturated with booze and drugs than even Keith Richards-just not quite as long. I think when he does finally go, he should be sainted,and im definitely goin to start a petition and then address the The Pope . He will resist,but if the world demands that Shane MacGowan be awarded Sainthood ,and compels him to like… conference call with the Holy Trinity ,i think this could happen….Those three are hard to catch together at one time,but I think once the […]
i swear i have been through so much in my 21 years of age, any other person would’ve killed themselves.. im not there yet. but there isn’t a time that i don’t think about it. im at the point where its so hard for me to hold anything in. i just wanna cry and get away from everyone. everyone always ends up hurting me anyways. lol. im just looking for love.. Arent we all tho? isnt that the only thing that kills us. we all crave it and need it. and every time i find it, it turns to shit. its like every time its […]
Thank you for being a friend, traveled down a road and back again.
Your a pal and a confidant.
I’m not ashamed to say, I hope it will always stay this way!!
My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow.
And if you threw a party and invited everyone you knew.
Well you would see the biggest gift would be from me.
And the card attached would say….
Thank you for being a friend ^.^
I’ve made a few friends here on this site in the last 24 hours I would say. I made a post yesterday basically saying I was abandoning ship in three weeks. I have decided to revise that time frame to three days. I plan on writing my note a day or so beforehand, the necessary materials are in my possession and the stage is set.
However, today I am going to take the day to play some music. I’ve played in bands since high school (I’m 27 now) and always had music has a hobby or passionate activity I guess you could say. Going to be […]
Why movies is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why video games is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why novels is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why comics is much better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why anime/manga is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
in conclusion :
Why human’s IMAGINATION is better & more interesting than this boring […]
I’ve always thought about suicide since I was 6. Been molested by a few people until I was 11 years old. So it made me really suicidal since a young age. When I was 17 I was disowned by my dad’s side and he left when I was 8 years old. I was thinking of ways to kill myself because it would be hard in the group home to get a way with it. So I came up with one that I thought would work. My school had a freeway above it so one morning I was dropped at school ran up the hill and […]
Life is always balanced out like a scale. Take this, if I was a billionaire, sure I could buy everything I want. But if I was a billionaire, I wouldn’t be able to walk on the street normally like everyone else. I would also have to worry about my, and my family’s protection. I would have all that I want physically, but it would be a prison emotionally. PS. This is probably what Robin Williams felt. I would rather be average.
I want to die but I can’t. I still have people that need me to make money, too many people that need me to live. I’m not selfish enough to leave them with nothing. I don’t want them to suffer and die with me. I just want to die alone. So I have to live for them but it’s only the hollow shell of a life I’ve never really lived.
I’m still very young. I know this. At the age of 21 I should not be this hateful, this cynical, this forlorn, this lonely. But I am. I suppose I’ve always been unhappy. I’ve always been […]
I always have this urge, to hurt myself 1 way or another. But it’s always in my mind.
Before I sleep, I’ll imagine falling off the stairs, or even getting some mildly serious disease, enough to the hospital. On worse days, this’ll morph into funeral services for my own, or just methods in which I die and there are people around me.
Is it meant to be this way? This is my way of dealing with life? It feels so wrong, yet it sparks a feeling of warmth, love, peace and a sense of fitting in.
It it might seem superficial, but it’s my own way, right? It’s […]
I always considered Robin Williams an “original” comedian. Simply meaning he was one of the comedians I saw mostly in the movies I watched growing up. (Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, etc.) I always admired these men and have actually hoped to meet them.
I remember being so depressed, and so lost in my life, mind, body, and soul. I had been thinking of death.. actually HOPING for death. I would imagine things and imagine the peace I would probably feel. Around this time I watched What Dreams May Come, and it gave me a better understanding of suicide (even if it is a fictional story) and surprisingly […]
i haven’t been posting much lately because it is always the same old shit. i take 6 medications to try to make me feel better. i was recently put in my place by my shrink who sees 24 nut jobs like me a day. 20 minute appts only. money wise it comes out to $800 an hour-nice scam . i finally got it through my thick skull that the less i say the easier the appts will be. just give me my scripts and send me on my way. i can write with impunity now knowing that no one has the time to read these […]
I am feeling such a huge sense of loss and I didn’t even know the man. I only knew of him and from a distance. Although he always made me laugh and I was always so touched by the many kind things he did in his life, I could see the pain and anguish in his every expression. Even when he was trying so desperately to be light heart-ed, there it was in his eyes, the window to his soul. Thank you Sir Robin, for all of the laughs that you gave me, the wonderful memories of family and friends and great times while enjoying […]
I want to disappear but the only thing that stops me from doing it is my love from my family and friends because i don’t want to see them crying because of me.
I almost got what i want(nice circle of friends, loving family, money) but still, i want to disappear. I commit suicide once and that’s the dumbest thing i ever did because all of us have our time but me, i’m rushing it.
When i’m alone, i want to commit suicide. But the things that are always sinking in my mind are “How about your family? How about your friends? Are you crazy?” Yes i […]
For so many years now I have relied on simple pleasures. To help me to get through a day, there is coffee, music, aromatherapy, chocolate, a walk in nature, a refreshing bath…but nothing has long term efficacy. There is some therapeutic value in so many things, but it is not always feasible to rely on a multitude of pleasant distractions each day.
The trouble with this approach is, of course, that these simple pleasures afford me a measure of temporary relief but they do not cure me, though their influence is healing.
I don’t know what i’m doing, i’m trying to find reasons not to die but its becoming exceedingly difficult each day. I don’t feel i’m worth anything to anyone, i know i’m not. I don’t make attachments or really feel anything towards anyone, but there is always this one person it all goes into. Every time i love i’m brought to a grinding halt, reminded why i shouldn’t go there.
I really wish i knew what the point to all this is, everything is just pointless bullshit. What’s the point of living when you’re brain dead? when nothing makes you happy, sad or excited?
I’m trying to […]
its an option for me. i always have them around. something to knock me out, fall over the side, and the sharks do the rest.
life is an abstract concept to me…
its like a dance that you cant really understand the concept of the movment seems destorted its like when you first read a script back or a story that you’ve just wrote you know it will make sense when youve ironed out the funny littel bits that arnt sapost to be there but its not like that i cant get rid of the littel bits im reading my life and non of it makes any senes it looks like a blood splat on a wall its got no struchure to it its just a mess some one said to me once in basic befor […]
Okay, so this is in reference to this thread: http://suicideproject.org/2014/08/a-big-hug-to-you-guys-and-a-suggestion/
A lot of people I talked to expressed their willingness to enter such a place, where they could actually forget about the pain, even for a moment. But there was one guy who expressed his reservations over this (and quite valid I’m afraid). You could simply read the comments in the above linked thread and let us know what you think?
By default, any topic in this category would also be visible on the homepage to everyone, irrespective of whether they’re interested to look into this or not. They could feel while everyone else is happy, they’re not. […]