Hello I’m 25yrs young I like that word better I’ve felt this way for awhile now I attempted suicide once already and died for about 5 seconds, long enough to hear the heart monitor flatline and feel life slip away, when I was a kid I had believed in finding something to believe in or hold onto, when I was younger I would look into the mirror and this feeling of sadness ignite in my heart I’d stare through the tears and tell myself it’ll change it’ll go away I used to wake up at night and cry until I fell asleep again sometimes my […]
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always
Anyone tired of the “there is no such thing as rational suicide” argument?
by bzbzbz
written by bzbzbz
I’ve read that 2/3 of all people who’ve committed suffered from mental illness, but what about the other 1/3 who didn’t? And I’m not counting the terminally ill — to me, that’s a no-brainer.  Are there rational reasons for deciding to end one’s life?
I see people constantly answer in the negative on other forums, but I can’t see how this can be an objective viewpoint. Â Everyone says ‘there is always hope’ or — my favorite brainless platitude – Â ‘suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.’ Â I have a feeling that people who say that haven’t had a whole lot of serious problems — and […]
i have been happier then ever.suicide isnt a thought anymore.finally i dont have to always try and get my mind of trying to kill myself.when the thoughts are taken away.listening to music alwayed helped but now im starting to realize i need to forgive and forget and let go of my past and stop living in the past because if i dont i wont be able to let go
For so many years of my life music has always been my remedy. Listening to piercing lyrics of goth songs, I felt I am not alone in these world with these dark thoughts. About two years ago it just stopped working for me. So now I am on my own, keep plyaing a role of a happy person for outside world and slowly dying inside. Moving along through a day, I try to keep myself busy so I won’t have time to think. But just like a predator it always attacks me in the most unexpected moment- on the bus, on my way to a […]
I have started this post a number of times and always find myself deleting everything. My words speak a story that sounds like a pathetic, whiny, “look at me” tale, however, that is not my intention. I simply want to be able to say what I need to say and say it in a way that is an accurate depiction of my thoughts and feelings without someone interrupting me or yelling at me saying, “Everythings going to be ok!” or “Why are you complaining so much?” If I have found myself here, obviously, everything is not ok. If I am complaining, then so be it. […]
i know i ve vowed never to come back here but here i am. i feel so empty. i just dont have anything to live for and i ve got great expectations. but this feelings is rendering me useless. cus anytime i actually impress myself with something, its always not good enough for them. they feel i could do better so they conden my every efforts. but how am i going to do better when i always feeling useless.
I’m new to SP and I have no idea where to start. I’ve done so many stupid things in the past. I read posts and I relate to almost all of them. I feel as if I understand you and I know you. I am always depressed, I have no idea what goes on my life anymore. I can’t find joy in the things I once loved to do. All I do is think about how useless I am, how depressed I am all the time, how my parents tell me crap all the time, I have no friends at all, seriously, and my boyfriend […]
As frustrating as this back-and-forth bullshit is, today is one of the days I’m glad I didn’t decide to end it (I think). Rainy mornings followed by a world that is glistening, new, and ripe with new life. I feel partially inclined to watch because I’m wont to do that, but something deep inside of me screams to make myself part of it. New life.
Isn’t this always how it starts? Mystification –> disenchantment –> disappointment.
I don’t know which part of myself to give in to. Let myself be happy for a bit, give in wholly, and hope? Give in partially, so later on I don’t […]
“I’ll be here if you need someone to talk to.” No you won’t, you always ignore me.
“I care about you.” No, you only care about yourself.
“I know how you feel.” No, you don’t. I don’t even know how I feel.
“I’ll never hurt you.” Then why do you always tear me to pieces? Why am I the one to blame?
“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It’s not worth it.” Oh yeah? Sometimes those problems aren’t so permanent. And it may not be worth it to you but I’m sick and fucking tired of being in so much pain, and not belonging anywhere. I hate waking up in […]
I’ve  always know that I’m not destined to be here, As  long as I can remembered  I’ve not fitted In school,college,work,peers and family. I don’t feel like I belong, It does not help that my life as not be the easiest off ones, no one really gets me I don’t  really blame them. Who would want to get  love or care for me I’m worthless I’m better off removing myself form this world. I’ve tried to end this endless pain on a couple off times I’ve been unlucky to be find on all off the occasions. Some would say that its not my time I […]
technically not dead, visited the site a few times, saw some people wondering… resisted the urge to reply, until now.
SP events happened to coincide with an opportunity for some KB (note: this is what my age group calls good weed; it’s short for “kind bud,” which indicates that it’s not “just schwag” or “brick weed,” but is instead, properly grown and almost always seedless); after almost 2 years of abstaining, for what had become apparently irrelevant motivations, i reached my breaking point, and really wanted some. The sample i received, turned out to be… well, i can’t say it was “the best ever,” but it […]
I’m running away from people again.
First time I didn’t have any friends. So it was ok if they didn’t talk to me since I didn’t talk to them.
This time I’ve met so many nice people, but I even catch myself saying  ‘I’m late, we’ll catch up later, right?’ and almost literally running.
I’m out of facebooks and whatsapp groups. I wait some hours or days to text someone back.
Inside, there is that famous phrase ‘help me!’ screaming in repeat. They even know I’m not fine and they want to talk, to make me feel better. So why do I run when I have […]
As I sit here crying, in pain. My chest hurts and I feel like absolute shit. You lay there sleeping with not a care in the world for everything taking a toll on me. You say I push you. It’s always me. Always me pushing you. And maybe I do. Maybe I’m the reason for everything horrible that you blame me for. But as I sit here, I think about how much I want to tell you that you’re pushing me. I’m so near to giving up. I never felt so alone. I can’t go to you because you’ll judge me. You’ll tell me I’m […]
I am screwing up my life for no reason. I just feel like the way I was living was not getting me anywhere, so I decided to drop college and live my life on the road. But I am so fucking scared. I need someone to do this with me. Because if I continue living this life, in which I have to be always high to get trough a day, I will go mad. My life right now doesn’t make me wanna do better. I don’t need happiness. In fact, I kinda want to be miserable, because I am too scared that I really messed […]
like fighting fire with fire
I love this song. Always on repeat when I’m in one of my bad moods. (He swears, so if you’re offended by that then look away :P)
Life has always pushed me right to the edge and sometimes over the edge but just enough to let me cling. It’s hard its exhausting I have given up and sometimes still want to. I don’t really love myself or care about myself, I just try to make decisions with my best interest or to my benefit I guess. But I’m empty and inside me is a pain so great that everyday lately it’s a battle to try to keep it boxed up. It sucks to be this way to be aware of the pain your hiding and feel numb to not care if you […]
Always wishing to find the beautiful sound. Oh, man.
The zenith, taken from me. Never echoing through oblivion.
I am transmorse, the metal horse. Cyborg was my cherry pick.
Ultra blast, to the max. Robin, by my side. My life.
I wish to exist in reality.
Spitting in tunes of the lost vibes. Always wishing, to find the next beautiful sound.
Silence. Take me through the valley. Take me to the “Bat Cave.”
For my life. Will you be my Robin. Or the fate of Nightwing.
The song… was the last track.
The title sounds like … Grace Mary.
So beautiful…
hi, if your reading this then that means that people actually care, or is interested in my title, but it doesn’t matter any more. I’m tried of hearing people scream at each other, I’m tired of always being afraid of what’s gonna happen next. I’m sick and tired of being screamed at. I hate it the way the people around look at me but they can’t see that i’m drowning because every time I am reminded that i’m a worthless whore that people can always throw away i sink so much deeper than before and i don’t know what to do about it anymore. I […]
I’ve been struggling with my body for so long. Ever since I was a little girl, I was always the “fattest” kid around. I got made fun of a lot, but I moved on, as a little child would. Now it’s worse. I can’t stare at myself in a mirror for longer than 2 seconds. I have gotten bullied by others, for being ugly and fat. I have no friends. At school I am the last pick for everything, and everyone hates me. I try to be nice to everyone, but for every nice thing I say twenty bad things are said about me. I […]
I’m so fucking tired of waking up every night. It takes everything in me to just go to work (I work nights). The only thing I look forward to is sleeping all weekend. Got some bars so it shouldn’t be a problem as long as people will leave me alone. Happy go lucky people make me fucking nauseous. My mind just doesn’t work that way. I see the negativity in everything. People always say to focus on the things that make you happy. I can’t make anyone understand that there is nothing that makes me happy except the fact that I have a bottle of […]