I used to smile all the time. I never cared what anyone said about me. Then they started getting meaner meaner. They hit me and called me things like “slut” and “*****”. My own friends had turned on me. Like they didn’t even care about me anymore. I thought for a long time. Then I started cutting. I never thought I would be one of the people who started doing this. I actually felt really good. The bullying just got worse. I got so tried with it. I decided I wasn’t good enough because that’s what they told me. I got a bottle of pills […]
I was told my self deliverance would be a most selfish act. Â I was told I should think of my family and the loss they would feel.
I am,therefore , sorry that I must deprive my family of whatever delight they might have felt by watching me die a slow painful death. Do they really hate me so much that I must suffer daily to provide them with a pleasure so great that it exceeds the agony I must endure.
Why is their enjoyment in my suffering of more value than the one right I have left (the right to end my pain).
So I ask “Am i […]
I struggle every day with mental illness. The type thats never quite medicated correctly. I am also a recovering alcoholic. I could never bring myself to go to AA, I just stopped so that I didnt lose my family. I think about how my whole life has always been about waiting and how I have made stupid choices to try and make a quick new outcome and how its just dug me deeper into this pit. I was raised Catholic, so there was always […]
As a child I started hating everyone. 2 years ago it got worse and i stopped going out, i didn’t go to School anymore, I stopped eating and never left my room. My mom started worrying but she didn’t know what to do so she just argued with me before she called a psychiatric and a lawyer which said that they will hospitalize me in some time. I had to wait about 3 Months before the could take me, they said. I was glad to be free so far although I was just sitting in my bed all day. Then I decided to end this pain. […]
Are you there God? It’s me, Fox (Reality)
Please let my soul go free.
I am suffering very badly.
Please.
Yours Sincerely,
Fox
I don’t really understand the point of this site. I am not being shitty or anything like that….just wondering how all of this works?? I NEED help in finding some easy way of getting “the job” done without ANY chance of survival and in hopes of finding answers since I posted early yesterday I only had 2 comments and they were to help me as in “I am here for you” and that type of thing. Thanks, but no thanks….I just am going crazy here wracking my brain and nobody understands that I WANT an END/ just an END that is all!!!! Why do I […]
So recently I flunked out of engineering school. I feel lost now like what the hell am I suppose to do now. I’ve invested so much time into school for it to end like this. I can’t even form the words to tell my parents that I’m back a square one to find a new major. This is all I had it was my biggest accomplishment now I have nothin. I have no gf and barely any friends. I’m at mediocre college. What the point of living right now when it seem like everything is going to shit right now. I feel like I brought […]
Every time I meet and start talking to a new guy I am really happy then they turn to assholes after a day asking for nudes and sex, whenever this happens I just feel like shit.
So yeah, im new here and its really hard to write here although noone knows the hell who i am. Have been here now 2-3 months or so, watching other peoples posts n stuff. I can t believe its hard to write here bout my feelings, i mean noone here knows me and most guys here are quite nice. The void in my soul just so gigantic. Ist hurts so much. Its anxiety, i Know it. Sounds weird although i seemingly feel nothing anymore, i know im scared.
So this ist where i am. Feel free to just skip this post now. Im doing this cause […]
I am 19 and for the past 3 years I have felt like shit. I fell hopeless, unloved, unimportant, insignificant. I feel like nothing really matters. I feel like my life is directionless and has no meaning. I am in major pain. I have a low self esteem even though I have been told the opposite of what I think. I feel like people are lying to me. I make good grades in my college courses that I take. I still feel stupid. I feel unwanted. I have no friends and no boyfriend because I am introverted. I can’t seem to make myself feel better […]
i’m actually so totally done. i keep fighting with my mother, and i can’t get along with any of my friends unless we’re getting high together. my dad, the most important person to me and my only hope to get out of this hell with my mom, has decided he doesn’t want me full time. i’m now way behind in school and i’m late every class and i can’t seem to get anything right.
i’m 14 and i already am willing to die. if someone handed me a gun right now, i’d point it at my head and shoot. but life isn’t that simple and i’ll […]
‘Ring’ ‘ring’ ‘ring’. I woke up at the sound of my alarm. ” oh gosh , it is still 6:30 am ” . I checked my phone I had no messages from my friends . “That’s weird , my friends used to talk to me everyday! ” I wondered to myself . I took a bath , brushed my teeth and prepared some delicious pancakes with my coffee .
As I was enjoying my sweet breakfast and listening to the sound of the birds , my friend vikki called . […]
(i dont know why its upside down..) This is me. I may not be the prettiest person alive but here i am. I know im not pretty, i hear it everyday from everyone. even my own family. Im used to it. Call me whatever you want. Im a cutter. Im suicidal. This is who i am and nothings going to change that. Ive tried killing myself 8 times. my 8th attempt happened recently about a week ago when people at school started picking on me […]
I made you a promise.. I promised to tell somebody, to show them the cuts and scars. You promised that things would get a lot better if I did. In all honesty, I’m scared to. Why should I tell someone something that they’ll never understand? They won’t know what to do or how to react.. The idea of getting better really scares me. I haven’t felt “better” in so long that even if I do get better, I might not even realize I am.
I want to go where you went. I want to experience what you experienced. I need to go far away, I need […]
I did promise I wouldn’t abandon this place. I don’t know why I care so much about the people I’ve never met behind the stories I’ll never really know. I guess I just feel for you and your darkness. I wish I could take it because it seems so wasteful.
I am still very tired. Since my last post I’ve cycled through a few medications with no effect. I’ve found that I am not getting real sleep as I have some sort of growth in my head. I haven’t told my family I am on the verge of passing out at least 5 times a day […]
http://www.malaysiaairlines.com/my/en/site/dark-site.html
Saturday, March 08, 10:30 AM MYT +0800Â Malaysia Airlines MH370 Flight Incident – 3rd Media Statement
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are deeply saddened this morning with the news on MH370.
Malaysia Airlines confirms that flight MH370 had lost contact with Subang Air Traffic Control at 2.40am, today. There has been speculation that the aircraft has landed at Nanming. We are working to verify the authenticity of the report and others.
Flight MH370 was operated on a Boeing 777-200 aircraft. It departed Kuala Lumpur at 12.41 am earlier this morning bound for Beijing. The aircraft was scheduled to land at Beijing International Airport at 6.30am local Beijing time.
The flight was […]
Things make more sense to me now than they ever have in my entire life. I died, the person I was the dreams I had all of it died that was the true reason why I have been so upset. I didn’t want to accept that I let myself die because it hurt too much. But it’s done with now and I can’t change a thing about it. I feel empty, I don’t know who I am or what I want, it feels like I was placed into a body, a life that is empty. It’s like it isn’t my life so I have no […]
i think everyone goes through everything in their head before committing suicide. How everyone will feel and how everything will be afterwards. I guess I’m finally on that stage. I have nothing else to think. Anything that pops into my head it’s to get away from everyone. Stop hurting people I love. And to leave the people that dont need me anymore. I dont have a purpose here. Who am I kidding? I just haven’t committed into really leaving because I want to be here to see everyone else’s reaction when I’m dead. When they’re in the funeral. To see the trueness in people. Now, […]
“They†say I should be more confident, believe in myself. But I think I am confident. I know I’m useless, boring, weak, etc. I accept it. I am confident in my uselessness. Isn’t that true confidence, accepting your faults? I’m not going to pretend I’m something I’m not. Why deny the truth? What’s the point in faking it?
Here I lay,
On my bed ,
Its my shallow grave,
Not deep enough to see my pain,
Dig a little deeper,
You’ll see it there,
Along with my soul that I left somewhere,
I hope you find what your looking for,
In this shitty life you need to close the door,
The public doesn’t need to see what I have become,
Because I am a girl,
With feelings just as strong,
Call me Mia,
I speak for us all.