yes, unfortunatly my love story ended before it even started.. i feel destroyed, depressed, dead.. in every possible way..i knew that i will end.. i didn’t want it of course but i knew it will happen..cause all my life i never had something so beautiful and amazing, before i met him.. we stayed together almost a year.. full of good things and bad ones, we had dreams like any couple, maybe ours were bigger, but all i know that we had that feeling between us, that feeling that no other word can describe it.. MORE THAN LOVE.. PASSION.. but we used to fight a […]
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This year has probably been the worst year of my life.
I have suffered from anxiety since i was little, and i dont remember a time without it.
however, disregarding that, i feel like no matter how much i try to be happy, happiness turns against me, or life or the universe.
the beginning of this year was great, i had great friends, a loving boy friend, a loving family.
then after coming back from a (what i though was a) perfect holiday with my then boyfriend in june everything just turnt to crap, it has been a downward spiral.
My grandad fell ill and […]
my body shakes and i cry. he didnt deserve the way i treated him, i hurt everyone around me. i push people awy but he never left he always stayed by my side untill the day i broke him. I’ve never seen so much pain on someones face, and im just now getting upset over it. all it took was one look at his photo and i completely lost it. it doesnt help that i see him almost everyday. my chest hurts, everything hurts.
the scars that you see
they are all made by me
and my tears have turn red
with the blood that ive shed
people think im lost to the madness
but really im just cloaked in sadness
i could use a rope or i could use a knife
i see the pain and i see the hurt
i feel my heart begin to burst
why cant they see
that my life
ive been afraid of
me
Why do I post my story?
I can and i have time.
To see how people react so works like a mirror reflecting my life.
Simplily a statistic data for researchers on human studies.
So whats the story?
For saving time and to be short. Im aged 27, living in a far east city, and had four of suicide attempts.
I was born in Hong kong 1988. In a normal family of Chinese. My dad has been a U.K. Police Force from his age of 18 till retired. Thats like a life time job for him.
At age of 3 i started to write and read Chinese. at age of 4 started […]
I’m so tired of being me, of being myself and not being able to get away from this monster. I want to change everything about myself, i want to become a new person, a better person. But no matter how hard i try everything gets ruined again, and i have no energy left to try anymore. I just want to end everything but i know i cant and that makes things so much harder. I just wanted to get that out somewhere as i have no one to tell… I’m so ready to give up.
I have become so so depressed and I really do not know what else to do I know i can count on 2 of my friends to open up too and my mom and shit but still I feel so lonely,im also currently going througha break up after beinng woth my boufriend for the past 2 years and i cant even explain how empty i am without him, fulll of rage and hurt though i don’t show it often. My social abilities are so fucking weak and i hate it,and i hate how bad my anxiety is. It almost physically hurts, it feels as if […]
My life really isn’t that bad. i wasted 8 years in the military and was suicidal almost everyday for the last year that i spent in. i was always on some kind of anti depressant or a tranquilizer. once i got out i stopped my medications and i feel better yes. but i still have the thought on a daily basis that I’m tired of my life and feeling unaccomplished with everything that i have going on. its a struggle, i have a girlfriend, i go to school, and i medicinally use cannabis. but i cannot seem to every get out of the slump, I’ve […]
its all my fault… hes at his breaking point and im sure hes goig to leave. tired of my bullshit. i got upset over the past trust is gone. heart is caving in knowing he must be dying. all my fault… he has a rage he cant control and might hurt himself or someone else. i always hurt the people around me. im a fuck up. now hes hurting and i cant fix it. all my fault… promised him i wouldnt cut and almost broke it. my fault… we’re both hurting becase i was being childish.ill take every hit from everyone who has hurt because […]
i cant speak. everytime someone trys to get me to talk about my feelings i choke on my words. I’ve always kept my emotions in i guess i got used to not talking about them. someties its just random things like about my day or whatever its hard. i start to breath heavily and i get scared then wont say anything. my best friend ariana gets mad when i do that but i cant help it!
Hello, people reading this i have a huge problem and i need your advice. I am 17 years old and i have tried to commit suicide more then 5 times. Everytime something in my life goes wrong aall i think about is how to kill myself , but this time i might really do it. So i will be entering the 12th grade this year and there is a HUMONGOUS amount of pressure on me to go study abroud and get into a Great University, but the thing is i TOTALLY FAILED my international AS level examinations and those grades are really important to get […]
iam 21 and i have gone through many things which are beyond my age. i love my family very much. i love u mom sister and my brother. iam sorry that iam going to end my life as soon as possible becase i cant stay in this world full of fake. i always tried to be myself and because of that people hate me saying im proud an egoist.
i love u dad.. before u left us…every thing was perfect.. my life was a heaven. now its a hell which i want to end. i wonder what people think if i die…no one does not even […]
Guys i had adieu you all. I had said i will be cutting my wrist. But i faild. I was applying local anesthesia cream on wrist which is need to be applied for 1hr before cutting.. when i applied i felt like fading and i trid to handl myself and bymistek that cream went into my eye and mouth.. I felt like unconscious. And from last two days i was sleepy and i faild. The worst thing i think
Why movies are better than reality ? Why movie is better than reality ? Why reality is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
I spent ten years building a business and all my close friends fell away. I don’t think my girlfriend has any passion for me. I dont think my business partner has any passion for the business. I’m not the best at what i do and i feel like everyone is watching me fail.
The only thing that’s keeping me alive is that my parents are too. They shouldn’t have to plan a funeral. Sigh. Maybe the universe will take me naturally.
Hey guys.
I have been in this sad mood since like forever. Sure, I’d laugh and smile, but when its me, and i am alone, my thoughts take over.
I am convinced that i am useless and basically nothing more than a burden and cause of irritation and frustration to the people around me.
So, i thought a lot, a lot about suicide, i even started to cut myself, i have stopped now though.
But i guess, i still wanna die.
Anyone know how to get over that fear of dying?? Like, i am afraid of the pain it takes and because i dont know what happens after i die.
Help, […]
For most of my life I wished i was never born. I’ve never seriously thought about suicide methods as it was something i thought i couldn’t do.
Last night i felt myself taking a step closer towards the act. Although I’m not quite ready yet, the thought of knowing relieved my pain a little. I could see an end to my misery, whereas before it was indefinite.
I’m not posting this because i need attention. I just have no one to say it to and i need it.
Thank you guys to support me.. But i couldn’t help myself and i am ending with all hopes with my life..
Just need some courage. I am shivering with sweat on whole body. The cutter in hand falling down. I wish i will get successful on the way of hell or heaven. I wish i would have live more with my love. I really wish. Please god make me die in his arms.
I don’t really know why i am writing this i suppose it’s because i want someone out there to know the real me before i go. I’m so hollow inside it hurts all the time i feel hardly anything about anything and i never really have i am always wearing a mask portraying the emotions i should be showing and saying the things im supposed to say, everyone thinks i have the perfect life since i just seem so happy when im just falling apart inside ever since i was young i knew i was different from everyone else so i just pretended to be […]
I want to die. Can i please just die i’ve been suicidal since i was 11 and i just want to die i’ve tried to commit suicide before but i was unseccesful i wish my brother hadn’t walked in. If he didn’t then all my pain would be gone.