that was not last goodbye

Guys i had adieu you all. I had said i will be cutting my wrist. But i faild. I was applying local anesthesia cream on wrist which is need to be applied for 1hr before cutting.. when i applied i felt like fading and i trid to handl myself and bymistek that cream went into my eye and mouth.. I felt like unconscious. And from last two days i was sleepy and i faild. The worst thing i think