do i deserve to live? i took my own childs life away? he couldnt speak, he couldnt say no, he couldnt fight for his life and i took it away from him, i could have had a beautiful 1 year old boy to this day and i still would have been with my girlfriend but now i have fucked that all up and im left alone with nothing no one to love no purpose to live or go on i want my baby back i want to be with him up in heaven. is that so bad?
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you know i feel depressed i feel like i really shouldn’t be here anymore i feel like i don’t belong here on earth or anywhere. I know this sounds lame or dumb or you’ve heard it before i know and i’m sorry but god damn sometimes you have to understand we’re human to you know. I’ve just been down more then usual. I don’t feel like myself anymore for some reason. I feel like i’ve just lost all hope and its just bringing me and others down. Should i just end it or should i wait and see if it gets better like people say […]
I’ve never tried to kill myself. the thought of wanting to cripples my mind and it rots away at my soul everyday. my bones ache to the point where i can barely function
I’m missing someone and with his absence comes a sadness that will rip my chest opensoon and i wish i knew how to fix me and i wish i knew how to be better
what is my purpose and why am i so sad
the sleeping pills are kicking in now and its hard to keep my head up
need a friend
Well, i’ve been on a diet and daily exercise since more than 4 months. Didn’t work.
I’
m gonna start college soon and i’m tired. I struggle with this since I can remember. I just want to know how it feels to be fit, confident and such…
I hate my body image and wake up every day just to see it and feel it again and being watched by others too.
I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Also maybe my ex bf and I will meet again this year and I just wanted to give him a surprise.
Damn it.
I was raped and then a few days later rejected by this guy i liked/loved then put on a bunch of weight and i can’t shake it off.
Typing it out, thinking it out makes me feel so awful. Tons of worse things happen to people. Plus I was depressed/suicidal before this, But I guess it just feels like it solidifies how worthless I’ve felt my entire life.
I went to my personal trainer today. Got weighed and then I just cried. I feel so useless.
If I didn’t have to get my niece and nephew tomorrow I’d take few more vicodin and drink until I fall asleep. […]
Don’t know why but today I feel like writing my story. So I will. Pardon the Grammar.
No human story is ever single dimensional. there are always multiple reasons that prompt your action and that action causes multiple effects. Whenever I have new mood or new type of person in front of me (that is, in my psyche), I see my life from a different angle. I personally like the curiosity angle and have most respect for spirituality angle. Social angle is the most ugly. I might at times mix them with one another, because ultimately they are one and the same.
(I like to recall things according […]
didn’t work obviously. *sigh* this fucking sucks i dont want to be here and i refuse to be kept against my will in some institution with ppl who really dont care. they treat me like a pay check because to them i guess thats all i am. guess i’ll have to do it all over then…*ugh* T_T cant believe im so much of a loser that i cant even get death ryt!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!
I was just wondering is there anybody else who has experience/ has BPD I was recently diagnosed with it, even though in my chart in the hospital it was recorded 5 years ago but to my knowledge I was never made aware of it. about a month ago my stress levels were through the roof leading to a lot of self harm and suicidal thoughts, I was also abused as a child both sexually and physically so my intrusive thoughts were quite graphic and vivid. this lead to my dissociating and basically i lost my emotions or any i did have were warped i left […]
My life is hell ive been in a house that i hate with bullied for 2 years
my moms boyfriends house his kids hate me and i hate them
they got my hooked on weed and it fucks me up
ive been pushed down stairs they have burned me beat me and one forced me into sex
Im 13 and im not a virgin
ive regretted my life since i moved to this hell hole
people at school bully me i tell them to go to hell or say fuck of or even give them the finger
Sorry this ia written cappy
Hi my name is ezequiel and i am 14 years old and suicidal and i just wanna share my veiw on life.when i was 1-3 my parents brought me to arizona i lived with my mom,dad,and sister.Around the first few months that we moved here my dad began abuseing hard drugs like coke and lots of other drugs he would come home all druged out and abuse me and my sister(she was about 6 or 7)and he would cut my mom with knifes he was always like this.We were really poor my mom got a job at pizza hut and my […]
im debating whether or not to kill myself simply because i dont think anyone is there for me like im there for them and i just feel so alone. i dont know if im becoming depressed or not but everyone in my life is constantly making me feel like a sad story and that im not good enough and that i dont belong there . But judt to let you know i probably wouldnt kill myself beacause i dont have the guts to do it. id probably just try to pull the trigger and break down crying.
i just found this site while surfing ways to kill myself… i am so fed up with my life so i am quiting it by killing myself my GF thinks that i dont have faith on her and i am bad guy and my thinking also cheap… i never use any bad things to her, always loyal to her, give my all time to her but after listening these words from her my heart is full broken and wanna end myself so that one day she realise how much i love her.. thanks everyone for supporting me..and sorry for those who loved me …GOODBYE
Hello, I am new here.. I’m really not too sure if anyone will see this but it is my only shot.
Since I was younger, I haven’t really had any friends. I have always tried to sit next to a group of people, but I have never fit. I seem off hanging with other people. I try to seem not lonely, but it doesn’t work. I have been bullied for 5 years, by people I have never spoken to, i really wish i was intelligent as the other people at my school, but i’m not.
a lot of people talk behind my back, and I’m really not […]
I grew up in a small flat with my sister, my dad and my mom. When i was 7 my dad used to do things with me, he made me do things to him.. In a few words: he abused of me. Growing up, i’ve become a bad guy. I ended up with bad people, i’ve lost 3 years of school, and now i feel like a loser. I’m so young, but i’ve already lost hope in my life, i’ve lost faith in myself.. I feel like a shit. If i had the chance, i would kill myself. I used to get drunk and then cut […]
as i stand in the shower with you absent
i wish that all the fucking memories would wash away and go down the drain
i wish that all the pain and emotions would drain out of me
so i couldn’t feel this bittersweet emotion
my body still craves you
like you’re my fucking drug
but my mind knows that you’re so shitty
and bad for me
and i shouldn’t keep up this addiction to your love and affection
but i fucking cant because you’re the only fucking person
the only fucking person that tells me sweet nothings at 2AM when im so fucking vulnerable
you […]
i think i might of fucked up this friendship super bad and im not sure if you come here anymore, or under a different name so i wont see you suffering, but, im sorry i didnt make more of an effort, i find it hard sometimes,but im not going to make excuses, it was shitty of me to do when you were suffering, and i wish i could go back and call you more, instead of waiting a week to call you, then letting it go when you didnt pick up,
i wish i tried to call you 5 times that night more even, instead of […]
i’m back i needed to come back and iv said it all before but fuck it no one is going to read this any way
i have no friends (minor problem)
i have a girl friend but the relationship is crashing (i can live with out her but its the trying to save it cos i love her bit that is killing me)
i’m watching people win everyday when i lose i walk in to rooms and its like i’m not there (witch in some cases is a blessing) i miss some one who i should of let go of by now, i spend my days sitting in […]
Last summer i was forced to move out of my dads house because he wasn’t a good man. I was forced to move into my moms in a different state. I bearly even knew her. It was the first day of school and i could tell the students and teachers hated me all ready it was a rich kid school and i was no where near rich. The kids would point at me and laugh and whisper. I felt so small. About a month into school i found a “friend”. I was so happy to find someone i thought i could trust. We had hung […]
my name is alison and im 17. i have attempted suicide by overdosing dramatically 7 times. I have recently been discharged from a camhs physciatric ward for my depression and anxiety. they see me as ‘all better’ now. and year, for a while things were looking up. until things came crashing down about a month ago. having people tell me ‘youre not depressed’ and ‘were taking you off anti depressants’ sucks fucking balls. Im so fucking done. im planning to kill myself tonight in a way that works/ camhs need to know how to do their fucking job because theyre absolute assholes. i still self […]
the only thing preventing me from killing myself right now is the fear of hell. i have untreatable, severe chronic pain and i want to die asap, but this stupid unshakeable fear is holding me back. please help me…how do i get over this fear so i can free myself already? i can’t take it anymore, i feel so trapped…