I was raped and then a few days later rejected by this guy i liked/loved then put on a bunch of weight and i can’t shake it off.
Typing it out, thinking it out makes me feel so awful. Tons of worse things happen to people. Plus I was depressed/suicidal before this, But I guess it just feels like it solidifies how worthless I’ve felt my entire life.
I went to my personal trainer today. Got weighed and then I just cried. I feel so useless.
If I didn’t have to get my niece and nephew tomorrow I’d take few more vicodin and drink until I fall asleep. I guess thinking ahead is a good sign. But why do I still feel so alone and worthless and wrong.
Everything feels so wrong. And I ‘m itching i guess its the liver damage. I’m such a failure.
1 comment
No, you are not a failure. I was molested as a child. I understand this kind of pain. Your size does not indicate your beauty, your beauty is within. In other cultures larger women are actually seen as beautiful, did you know that? In the Middle East there are countries where small women are seen as scrawny, blah, nothing. If you are in America, you know how hard the media sells thin. It’s a lie. I too feel like a worthless failure but you know something, friend, it is just a lie in your head. You are a beautiful person.