I’m pretty much as broken and useless as it’s possible to be. I can’t do anything right – not exaggerating, it’s the truth. I’m barely human and don’t really do the things that normal humans do or feel the way normal humans feel. When I’m hurt or frustrated I get angry – but real people don’t feel anger, don’t express those things. Real people are happy most of the time, not unhappy or angry most of the time. I’m just wrong. Broken. Unfit for human consumption. God I wish my mother had aborted me. What is the point of me? There is none. The worst […]
Tag:
Anger
I’m in a place I have been sine I was 11, I am broken inside friends and family say get help I have but it didn’t really help its basically for people who can talk problems out and somehow be cured. I hurt I’m heartbroken I have been on a downward spiral for so long I no longer know what complete happiness is. I no longer have friends to turn to since a year ago I had overdosed. I feel so alone they say turn nto God but I do have God but that hasn’t helped me either I can’t find peace I feel myself […]
Okay, one more time, I am going to try to go the Professional route. Too much seething anger when the depression fades, I am beating my appliances and slamming doors and just having too many impulses to tear my hair out or beat my own face. Did a lot of face slapping and strangling Monday and Tuesday. Roller coastering from numbness to anger to depression. Having to bite my lip hard not to say insulting things to co workers and get fired. Knowing this is crazy and useless and wrong isn’t helping. Gonna take one more stab at prescription help. Wish me luck
One of my core problems is that I am extremely vengeful. When sombody does somthing major to hurt me I cannot let go of it until I get revenge for it. I feel like forgiving is weak and defeat, sorry if that is offensive. Anything major that happened even 10 years ago I am still mad about. I really should have gotten my revenge along time ago instead of holding the anger for years. I don’t believe in karma so to me If I don’t get them back they got away with it. And reveng is the onlything I can do now that could possibly […]
There have been several good episodes in my life, but as I look back I realize that the good ones would last just for a little while and the worst ones go on for years or will be there for the rest of my life.
A little more than 8 years ago I had a terrible car crash – I should be grateful about having survived with almost no injuries, but sometimes I wish I had died instantly instead because even prior to that I was a lonely freak and later on everything just got worse and worse.
So then I went to university and slipped deeper […]
Just from being on this website it’s apparent to me that there are so many people who feel hopeless and lost, ranging in age, different genders, coming from numerous countries, different religions ect…
I’m just curious, not about everyones story as to why they want to die or give up on life, but i want to know what emotion is the most common trigger for people.
Meaning, what emotion can’t you handle? or don’t want to handle? Fear,anger,embarrassment,jealousy,sadness…ect?
WHO CARES I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
Why do I come to this God damn website searching for a little hope? Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just be happy what is the fucking point? Why can’t I just move on with my life. I care. I care so much. But do they care? Do my friends and family really care? Does my boyfriend really care? Or is this some fucking pity thing? HA. My boyfriend. What a wonderful guy. He’s so up fucking beat, and I am so off beat. What is wrong with me? It seems almost as if I can […]
A teenager growing up in a world where he has many friends, he gets good grades, he’s athletic, he likes girls and girls like him, it seems like nothing can go wrong in the world. He loves spending time outside. He loves snowboarding, soccer, basketball, and football. He’s finally met the girl of his dreams and he’s in a relationship with her. He’s in college and he’s loving his freedom. He studies, but not as well as he should. He’s off in his little world, populated by the students of his college, where nothing can touch him from the outside. The only things that harm […]
First let me say this is my first post on this website. This is my first time even on this website. If I’m posting this in the wrong forum or doing anything wrong I’m sorry.
Hi… my name is Chanc. I’m twenty three years old and from Arkansas. I live with my partner of three years in our own home. I have two dogs and no children. I was raised by my mother and paternal grandparents. My father left when I was an infant, and we’ve had a very distant and strained relationship ever since. He’s a decent enough man that enjoys alcohol and dislikes responsibility. […]
It’s been at the back of my mind for a while. But now I’ve come to realise that it’s more than just suicidal thoughts. I’ve gotten to a point where I just have this really strong feeling that there’s something not right about me being alive. It’s not a result of bullying or any sort of trauma, it’s just a feeling, a really strong one. Over the past few weeks I’ve been putting myself through relatively dangerous “tests” to see whether I belong here or not. So far, I’ve survived them (clearly) but they’re not enough proof for me that I belong anymore. I just […]
Right now you’re sitting in your room, all alone and feeling sad. There are a thousand things you know you could do that will cheer you up, but you can’t find the energy to do any of them. And so you just sit there and feel sad. You’d listen to music, but you know that won’t take your mind of things. Because the music you like has words and emotions, right now you can barely speak and can’t help feeling nothing but apathy for the world and everyone in it. Nothing matters and it’s all pretty meaningless. And then you’re suddenly thinking about the meaning […]
the Cutter
It feels a little tender at first, hot as blood rushes to greet the sharp edge of your relief.
You promised yourself you wouldn’t, but the pain is just to much, inside. If only you can find a balance, a balance between the lonely suffering of your internal hell and the sharp, clean, slice of your external shell. Deeper this time then ever before. You must dig deeper to let it out. Your inner hell, red in its anger, hot liquid in its trespass.
The blade slices, a dance of blood lights it’s way, your focus follows it, watching. You feel almost outside o […]
I always fight with my parents for stupid reasons like food, using computer, using the air conditioner etc. When I prove they are wrong, they yell and shout at me and say that I misbehave! Then, I become extremely aggressive by throwing things everywhere: pillows, blankets, remotes… are all on the floor or broken, I cannot control my anger; sometimes, my father tries to beat me but luckily I run fast to my room and lock myself up to avoid the fight…
When I’m alone in my room, I just want to commit suicide, I just want to write a farewell letter and say goodbye […]
Everything about me, all that is, is just a big metaphor =]Â
Because I am a Loony, So damn Loony! I got engulfed in the dark flames that got created within my life. And I love it!
I will never die, I WILL NEVER DIE! I post on here often about me dying, it is a metaphor! I die, very often, almost everyday, everytime I see that damn face, and that damn picture on the wall, I DIE. But I will never die!
I hate HATE, so that makes me a hypocrite, I hate LOVE but love LOVE. I Hate Anger but Love it! I am just all […]
Tonight we had our own “fight club†for the first time. I got the text invitation just as I was thinking about swallowing all the pills in my medicine cabinet…it seemed like a nice alternative to a suicide attempt, so I agreed. Call them odd for emulating such an idea, but it beats the hell out of pumping iron at the tool cage on the ASU Tempe campus, I guess. There were only six of us behind the abandon furniture store across from the tracks, but it was more than enough to get things rolling. The energy was immense…like doing lines of blow at the […]
Every doctor pretty much makes it seem as though if you take this medicine, everything will get better. Sadly, that ain’t the truth. I have been taking medicine since I was in 6th grade and look at me. I am STILL depressed and I STILL have a lot of anxiety and anger. Can medicine really help you? No. It can help you a little. It can slightly make you happier and slightly less anxious, but that’s not always the case. When I cry, I can’t stop crying for about an hour. My anxiety gets so bad that I shake to the point that I can’t […]
I know that it is hard being Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgender, or Intersex. I know because I am bi-sexual. My family and most of the people I know don’t understand how it is and don’t really accept me. They think that it is wrong and that I should be straight because it the the “right” thing. I don’t give a fuck if it you think it’s right or not. I am NOT changing who I am just for you. I like the way I am. I prefer girls more than boys because I have been hurt by mostly guys, but that’s not the same for […]
Last week was my second time trying to commit suicide… I was crying and couldn’t stop because I felt unloved and unwanted. My self-confidence dropped to 0% and I couldnt talk to anyone about it. I felt as if no one understood what i was going through. My left arm is permanently scarred all the way down on the bottom and it reminds me of what I did…. I kinda wish that I did it deeper… There seems to be nothing good about me. I battle the urge to just Over Dose on any pills or slit my arms and wrists. I just don’t want […]
Anger rising, rushing through my veins
Thoughts racing, running through my brain.
I can’t take this, all this hate.
I don’t want failure to be my fate.
I am unable to give a f*ck anymore,
So please go walk out that f*cking door!
He and she is no longer we
And I don’t want it to be!
Just let me go, say goodbye.
Let me go and watch me fly.
Hopefully I’ll soar up to God,
Or maybe just get beaten by a metal rod.
F*ck this life, I give up.
No more strife, put my ashes in a cup.
Spread them in a forest in the fall
Or maybe dress me […]
i know a lot of people come on here and just complain…and then some other guy comments something inspirational, like those few words are really going to make up for a life full of pain, regret, and anger? i understand tho, im always that friend who tells them that their is always something to live for, im usually that person who tries to say something inspirational and save the day. But if i dont even believe in the crap im dishing out why should anybody else? am i that convincing? Or are my friends just so surprised that a pretty face can have brains too? […]