I dreamt about you last night and I miss you so much it hurts. You are never coming back and it’s ripping me apart. I need you, or what you used to be. Have you not checked up on me in years because you fear I killed myself? I’m so so so sorry. I don’t have much to say, I really don’t feel well. All I can feel is the feeling of being stabbed constantly in my gut, the shakiness of my hands, the elevated heart beat and fast paced breathing. I don’t know what to do and if I had one wish granted […]
Tag:
apart
So hi, I’m 13. I know that probably sounds young but whatever. Â I’m depressed, I self harm, and am bulimic. I’m attempted to kill myself many times- always getting interrupted my psycho parents who are abusive. I only have one real friend and he is my boyfriend. I love him so much but I feel like he likes other girls… he’s depressed and self harms also. he helps me live. he gives me the courage to keep going. without him I would be gone. I just feel like he likes other girls now… and when I was going to commit a while ago all he […]
suicidal thoughts & cutting have always been apart of my life but when i decided to quit it became extremely hard on me. i had delt with all my problems this way & now i dont have that. i have to find another way of dealing with my problems so i decided to start writing. my school councelor gave me this idea. he told me that i can make it. im a strong person.i suppose… if all the other people that cut & have tried suicide can quit than so can i.
Ive posted again and again on here and have not yet managed to kill myself.I know im running out of time.Something more tragic is coming if i dont commit and succeed at suicide.Like me being homeless.I wish i could just run in front of a car and get it over with but i freeze.Ive tried dehydrating myself and overdose.Apart of me is afraid of succeeding just cause i dont know what is after this.What if i come back to this earth.what if hell is real and ive got to look forward to demons poking at me with knives in a dugeon for the rest of […]
At the end, when everything finally falls apart, I will only remember that once upon a time, I have silently, and deeply, loved someone with all my soul.
All I seem to do is fuck up everything… Where do I even start? I don’t know. My head is spinning, and my body aches and if I stand the dizziness will knock me down. I don’t even know what to do with myself. My teachers tell me how I’ll make it far in life, yet I’m unable see it. Once they know I’m suicidal they’ll get the stupid counselor involved and they’ll realize how the weak cowardly freshman will never accomplish anything they once thought she would. People around me can’t keep their mouths shut, they always have something to say. I’m tired of […]
Oh why, oh why
Must our loved ones tear us apart
Oh why, oh why
Do they not take us to heart
Sorrow and guilt
Shall haunt their minds
Sorrow and guilt
Until the end of time
Cold, dark death
Please grace this poor soul
Cold, dark death
Beg you; consume me whole
Frozen In Time
If you are reading this, please listen with an open heart.
My best friend committed suicide on March 14th. She had an account on this website that i just came across and she had posted asking about ways she could do it, and my already shattered heart broke a thousand times more as i read the comments telling her how. As much as apart of me wants to respond with so much anger to anyone who encouraged her in how to end her life, a bigger part of me also breaks for all the others who were in her same numb state. She had talked with […]
How much do you actually want to die?
10, but I have to give myself a 9.9 because my family would fall apart if I do actually do it.
Hi everyone!
Nothing personal today, but I’ve been having strange dreams for years, even before I was on sedatives or antidepressants, and sometimes these things make them more vivid, but they’re always strange. I can’t remember them most of the time, but I remember flashes of things, like dizzying heights, zombies, the end of the world (actually pretty common for me), people getting mutilated, trying to solve a mystery or stop a crime.
Anyway, I wondered if anyone had any dreams or nightmares they would like to share. I’m wishing I could remember what I dreamed last night, but apart from a few snapshots, it’s gone.
I’m glad we’re friends again, but now you just remind me how much I miss being loved. Maybe I’m not glad we’re friends, Â maybe I hate it but I put up with it because I still get to see your smile and your eyes, even though they’re not for me anymore. Every time we hug I want go hold on forever, and it always tears me apart when we part ways. It pains me to even look at you, but I can’t bare the thought of you forgetting about me. I still don’t understand why
I think I’m asexual and it’s ruining my relationship(s)! Can anyone relate?
by kahlia
written by kahlia
It’s really bringing me down. One time after the other, I’m rejected and my world is torn apart because of my sexuality. Some days, some times, it seems appealing. So it happens, and then poof, I feel like I could never have sex again. I’m bored by it, it makes me sad to follow through sometimes when I’m trying to make him happy, but I don’t know what to do about me because I don’t know who I am anymore…
I’m lost. Going crazy. And I feel so alone every day.
It’s so hard to get someone to understand you. It rips your soul apart when the look of incomprehension shows up. I have only just wanted some help and care. But I guess that’s a luxury that I won’t ever have.
I live like a zombie. My soul is dead. My emotions are dead. I have no passion. I just want to end this.
Frozen In Time.
I have seen how suicide affects others, I know the pain left behind. I have seen people fall apart after a loved one takes their lives, I have seen it for myself.
I know that it’s a permanent fix to temporary problems. I know how selfish it seems. I know that even though my pain will be gone I will leave pain for others.
I know all of this yet it’s still all I can think about. How I will do it. When it would be the best time. Where. What I would say to everyone, how I would say it. What people would think.
I Should Have Thought Of a Sophisticated Title (or “Proof I Suck At Titles” or “I Have a Tendency To Make Titles Long”)
by monsterly
written by monsterly
Imagine a map, it’s a map of the world, a giant map, placed on the wall.
There are lights on the map, some of them blue, some of them white,
some of them glistening more, some of them flickering faintly.
Each light represents a soul.
Your light is on the map and I don’t know if it’s blue, white,
if it’s shining or if it’s hiding, if it’s bruised or healing.
(If it’s healing, it’s purple.)
Then something horrible happens; a villain steals the lights.
Not the souls,
just the lights.
Blue, white,
purple.
No indication of them on the map.
The map’s plain now. That’s not nice, is it?
A plain map. A plain map that didn’t use […]
Laying here, covered in sweat and tears
Bodies still heaving
Complete yet broken to pieces.
So close to another, but eons apart.
Wanting to be held,
But the pain is too much
Staying here, covered in blood
Body shaking
Falling to pieces, but finally whole
All alone, but one with the universe
Wanting to be held,
but the pain is enough
My mom never loved me and she lets it be known, my sister molested me, and refuses to own up after so many years, were f”ing grown now I’ve tried to kill myself several times I thought u would be apart of my recovery “sister” after all these years of protecting u, please help me. Nope she won’t no body will, my dad told me he loved me twice in my 25 yrs of living, my younger brother tells me how disgusted he is of me because of my drinking and everything else about me, there is no sweet escape, all my friends have abandon […]
This damn site is like the std that just won’t go away.
I get away but I always comeback.
I need to get my shit together.
Or let my shit fall apart.
Or maybe I just need to shit.
Either which way, my physical life is on the upward bound!
Alas, my mental life is slowly diminishing.
I’m missing the bridge the connects the two and makes everything fucking rainbows and butterflies.
Hello, again.
I have “Marooned” by Pink Floyd on as I type this. The whole Division Bell album feels fitting right now. It’s all about division, about separation, about loss, about something being missing. I’ve been missing something for years and I don’t know what it is and I don’t know how I can get it back without blowing everything apart and I’m imploding under the pressure and it’s taking every ounce of willpower I have to not just destroy myself and make it easier on everyone else. Rather just keep my failures my own then inflict them upon everyone else.