Hi, i’m back here. Again. I was watching TV and I saw somebody who made me feel bad. It made me think about a person I used to know, somebody I stopped seeing. A “friend”. Yeah, you know those friends you hang out with because you’re too young and too insecure to think by yourself and to trust yourself. This person who hangs out with you because you’re enough hopeless and in a shitty state that you make her/him feel better about her/his own person. To be clear, I do not miss that person at all. She’s a complete wreck with all the pride only […]
Tag:
ashamed
I don’t want to live anymore. I’m no poet, no profound words, no beautiful prose. I just want to move on to whatever is next. I had a friend who killed herself. It was such a shock: she was so perfectly beautiful that men literally collided with each other when they saw her.
But now I see her as so brave and I am deeply ashamed that I can’t even get up enough courage to stop being a burden to everyone around me. I am already a ghost in my own life, a literal cliched shadow of my former self. When my boyfriend looks at me,he […]
Is this all my life will be: broken dreams, loneliness, pain and fear. I once had such high hopes, now I’m an embarrassment, I’m worthless trash.
All I want is to hold you, to love you, to protect you, it’s all Angela, my angel. You screwed me, you used me, now I’ve fallen apart, if only I’d known you’d do that, but I was caught up in love. Feel broken, death now awaits, do you even care, your life was all that mattered. You treated me like you were ashamed of me, you were ashamed, that’s clear, such damaged you caused me, such a worthless […]
I’ve been unhappy since I can remember. Sometimes I forget, that I’m unhappy in certain situations, but it never lasts longs and I quickly get back to my normal state of depression. It’s really hard for me to find thinks that I find enjoyable enough to make an effort to experience them.
I have always wondered what was wrong with me. I studied some psychology and read a lot of self-help books. I made some progress, but I never understood why, despite my seemingly great live, I felt so worthless. Yesterday I stumbled upon the TED talks by Brene Brown and I finally realized what my […]
Its funny. I did not ever think Id write on this blog. But eventually I have to. I felt so down ever since I was child, I am introverted. Last year I found a person who made me life a happy life, but temporarily. Many has changed, but eventually Misery, my love, found me once again. Im having these depressions and I have no idea what to do. Everytime I feel like this, I wanna quit. Die, sacrifice, doesnt matter. Wouldnt fight back at all. But then I wake up and my brain tells me “You will try again”. I dont want it to. I […]
I’ve decided to live so what do I do next? I got the closest to succeeding that I ever have. And maybe if he hadn’t knocked on the door I would have fixed my initial error and went. It scared me though and I feel ashamed of myself as I always do. I can’t leave my kids like that.
Since I have decided that suicide is not an option I feel even more trapped than I did. These cycles are killing me. It’s like being rolled downhill in a tractor tire.
If […]
It doesn’t seem like such a bad thing now. I thought it was. It is not. Suicide is still an option. Not a crazy one. So many other people feel the same way. I don’t feel like it is a bad thing any more. I felt ashamed for it. I probably won’t go screaming it from the roof tops, but it is not abnormal, exactly. Why are so many opposed? The same people that think about it themselves? I have heard that it is selfish. Maybe they just haven’t felt what I feel, what I’ve felt before.
Thank you for being a friend, traveled down a road and back again.
Your a pal and a confidant.
I’m not ashamed to say, I hope it will always stay this way!!
My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow.
And if you threw a party and invited everyone you knew.
Well you would see the biggest gift would be from me.
And the card attached would say….
Thank you for being a friend ^.^
I have difficulties expressing myself through writing. so I’m just gonna do it like this.
– I panic inside my body cause I feel claustrophobic. My body aches all the time and I have a constant headache and chest ache.
= I. just. want. out.
– I have no interest in a future what so ever. I don’t want to study, meet new people or get married and have kids. I have not had a moment in years and years that I could feel happiness and joy.
– I am not interested in anything. No hobbies that can take my away from the pain just for a […]
I really feel ashamed for saying I was about to commit suicide in previous posts, I mean, I found Suicide Project about one year ago and at that time I was more caught in despair rather than feeling really really suicidal, probably the you guys don’t even remember me (I’m just one of the thousand unhappy wretcheds), but if you did you’d say I was just trying to get somebody’s attention by saying I was gonna push a knife into my belly (what just ended up in tears).Of course, I’m going to kill myself, I didn’t change my mind but you more than anyone know […]
So today I found out that I’m failing a class. I’m so disappointed and ashamed in myself cause I used to be the girl in the front of the room telling you the answer to problem 7 and earning good grades. Now I’m the girl in the back of the class room asking you for the answer to number 7 and receiving bad grades. I get told constantly that I could do better , but when I try my best can still get improvement.
I get told to ask the teacher for help but I don’t want to. 1. Because I feel dumb and ashamed, and […]
8th grade was when it all started. It started in the middle of that year. My dad & I were fighting. He told me that the reason he tried to kill himself was because of me. At that time I started to believe it was me cause of the way I treated him. His mental health issues at that time were up & down. In previous years he was overdosing with his prescription meds which led to him getting into a car accident with me & he also fell down the stairs. Some other things happened like he ran into a tree with […]
I was 3 months clean from cutting, until today.it’s the worst I’ve done too. I’m ashamed I gave in I thought I was better. I haven’t had my suicide thoughts in awhile except today I found myself looking for the bag of pills I hid in my room. I have no friends to talk to, I haven’t got a text in months. And talking to my parents just stresses them out and they just make me go to the hospital. I don’t know what to do I need a friend, I need support. Anyone? Please.
I’m here but, not all the way. I feel as if I am dying alive. Thye world is picking at my wounds. My cuts are being doused with ALCOHOL! I no longer feel as if, I am a human. I am hurting inside more than words will allow me to explain. I mutiliated my body again, I slash for each person who has hurt me. I Cant deal with this horrible pain. Shattered glass stabs me from within, I bleed an invisible blood. I drip sorrow from my eyes. Where has all of this anger come from, why are my dreams terrorizing my reality? Why […]
Darkness is beauty, when it helps us escape from the harshness of light.
by sorrow_
written by sorrow_
You do not give me a chance to explain the way I feel.
You do not hesitate to criticize. You are quick to tell me that what I feel is wrong and it is unacceptable.
But you are the one who is wrong.
How could you tell me that I shouldn’t feel the way that I do? How dare you? Do you think that I enjoy it? Crying myself to sleep every night, cuddled myself with the darkness overwhelming my brain? Do you think that I choose to feel this way?
I don’t.
I don’t want to feel this way any longer. I would love help, but you seem […]
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