Last night i tried to commit suicide.. but i just couldn’t take my other leg off the bed, my mom has a rope at the side of the house in an old BBQ thing i tried to reach it out my window but the bars on my window only let me go so far, i couldn’t reach it so i used the strap from my purse, and put the medal part on the hook on my ceiling, my other leg was slowly slidding off and my vision was going black my whole upper body went numb and then that’s when i started thinking about everything […]
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I have had everything given to me and I screwed it all up…..I have a bad habit of smoking pot and hookah
My parents provided me with everything and my habits, along with a habit of stealing got me in a lot of legal trouble
I got into legal trouble in 2001 and was arrested for a felony, but the prosecutor was nice enough to knock it down to a misdemeanor
I got into medical school in 2004….got kicked out a year later for smoking pot and getting caught for stealing a wifi connector from the computer lab in the med school and shoplifting at a store….again it […]
Well, where do I start? I’ll start with the reason I decided to even consider writing this. Well while messing around on my laptop, I realized I haven’t left my room for a week, minus going to the bathroom, eating, and showering. After that I realized I’ve been in my room for a lot of my life. I’m not very close with my mom, I push her away when she tries to get close. I have plenty of friends, I just prefer to stay in my room and talk to people over the internet. I left my room last week to go on a walk […]
Till this day I cry when I get touched there.Thats how fucked I am,thank you cousin.
written by lifeishorrible
Last week I went to the city jail for traffics that I thought somehow vanished.I was pissed cause I was acting all cocky when they pulled up.I was like why are y’all here were not doing anything here.They asked for my name,I gave It to them In anger,a minute later I’m being handcuffed & they told me I had nine traffic ticket warrents.I was In a shitty mode cause I was finally getting better & this shit happens so Is felt like shit on the way there.When I get there they started to search me and then he put his hands there!!I moved & said […]
I don’t exactly feel a whole lot anymore. About anything really. I don’t feel anything for myself one bit. I feel quite a bit for others who have pain but I always treat myself like shit. I know I shouldn’t but I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s just kind of natural for me to do it. I don’t even realize I’m doing it most of the time until others tell me to stop being negative or that I shouldn’t say such things. Eventually they make reasons for not being able to get together and then they stop calling all together. Leaving you […]
I haven’t cut since High School. I worked myself up and away from the self destruction. Now, as I sit here and watch the red run, I wonder how I allowed myself to get back to this place. Blood truly is thicker than water…
I’m a 42 year old woman and I have battled depression all of my life.  I have three serious failed suicide attempts that landed me in ICU.  I’m suffering from a clinical depression and I’m on four anti-depressants that are not giving me any relief.  I’m such a burden on my family that I don’t want to live anymore.  My mom has been with me for 12 weeks and is going back home in a couple of days.  I had to move back in with my ex-husband because I could not take care of myself.  I stopped eating because I had no appetite.  I feel guilty […]
I’ve tried to kill myself about .. 7 times. I’ve tried hanging.. Ended up blacking out and waking up to Demond’s and evil thing coming after me. I’ve overdosed 3 times. That ended with throwing up water and sleepless nights with ringing ears and sweaty palms. I was recently in a psychiatric hospital. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe depression. They put me on 3 different medications.. But I don’t take them. They make me foggy. I feel like people can read my thoughts and control them. I hear a man talking to me all the time. His name is 6. He leaves mean […]
I want to disappear.
I’m sick of this life and the people in it. I want to slip out quietly through the back door and start over somewhere new where no one knows me. Â I want to travel the world and find the place the I’m the happiest, a place that actually needs me.
Everyone has a point in there lives where they dont know who they are, where they are, or who they want to be. Some people have to hit rock bottom before getting back up but sometimes we keep falling which is okay as long as you keep tryin. I had to hit rock bottom twice before I realized I had to get clean and sober. Im not perfect and I can fall at anytime but, right now Im heading back to the top of recovery. Let me tell you about my journey and my story about strength; sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GntRHCuHorc
I think our last kiss was meant to be quick and chaste, but after the first touch of her lips fire leaped up and roared through my belly. My fingers yanked her close, digging into her back, and her arms embraced me to her as if wanting to meld us together. I knotted my fingers in her heavenly hair and bit down on her bottom lip, making her groan. Her lips parted, and my tongue swept in to dance with her. There was nothing sweet or gentle in our last kiss; it was filled with sorrow and desperation, of the bitter knowledge that we could’ve […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qsgBF7ZIsk&list=PL_lfsNREdSwx5eGkEOsFse8sWdjwSUi-K&index=44
I’m the one who steps from the shadows, all trenchcoat and cigarette and arrogance, ready to deal with the madness. Oh, I’ve got it all sewn up. I can save you. If it takes the last drop of your blood, I’ll drive your demons away. I’ll kick them in the bollocks and spit on them when they’re down and then I’ll be gone back into darkness, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone… who would walk with me.
I am happy my family pushed for me to get a dog. No matter how bad of a day I have or how stupid I act sometimes, my dog will always love me. Zelda Is my life line. Â You can talk to them for hours on end and they will never judge you or talk back at that. They are the perfect listeners and it seems they can tell when you are having a great day or a bad one.
Another physical altercation between my family. Long read, but I need help.
by justme-
written by justme-
I’ve typed this all right now, right from the fight – my back is still bleeding. If you’ll only like to hear about the hostility, read (FIGHT) below, but I provide backstory. I ramble on at times seemingly about irrelevant things, but only because I want to cover all bounds.
I’m posting this on Reddit as well.
This is not a joke. I am being completely serious
My brother is mentally ill (not in the obvious way, you’ll have to observe his behavior over a few months to realize). He used to be a division I football athlete but failed in his endeavors to go to the NFL […]
Alakazam! Is there a hell.
Yes. Life is conscious. Afterlife – next generation conscious.
An army of death, follows. Life is everything and one, heaven and hell.
The present. The now. I am the child of oblivion.
The sound of doom. Guide me back, I need to burst in the fire.
I am the walker of death, calling. In my face, forever to nevermore.
A fish that wants to bloom into a flower. Walk me to the nexus.
1. a guy sentenced to spent eternity pushing a rock up a mountain. only to have it roll back down to bottom
2. that guy had no meaning
3. Humans who don’t believe in god, heaven, hell all they have is struggle because in the end they are condemned to lose.
hence
Humans who believe in god are cowards and foolish.
Humans who don’t believe in god are deadly dumb to live because human life is like Sisyphus.
I am a strong person. I am 27. I tried to gut mysel, samurai-style, ten years ago. I clinged to life and vowed to never, ever give up on life. On the way I found the peace of God.
My girl and wife-to-be left me after 2 years and a half. We couldn’t make each other happy, we couldn’t stop hurting and failing each other. She was perfect in ways many cannot imagine: beautiful (a german model), sweet, bright, spiritual. Good cook. Good friend. Good lover. Loved me to her core, was there always for me. Perfect. I thought God was speaking to me through her, […]
I thought partial suspension with a drop would be easier than partial suspension without a drop. I was wrong. It still requires willpower to (step off)/kick the drop point. I managed to step off after a while. Unfortunately, I was able to get back on the drop point. Moreover, I found that the drop point was too low as my toes touched the floor. Furthermore, my left hand was trying to stop me. On Friday morning this week, I will try again. I will do so from a higher suspension point so that my feet are off the floor. I will also tie my hands […]
Married, merely just around 5 months ago.. I am kinda unsettled, doesn’t know driving a car much, and although I am optimistic, but sometimes I do realize that it’s been long since I smiled from heart, and this causes me a feeling of helplessness and suicidal tendency.
Till around 1 month of marriage, it was going smooth and happily, but after that, I did some mistakes, and those caused some problems in my married life. I love my wife, but she says she has less attachment towards me, my family or even my city. She is suffering from depression and many times she suffers from pain, […]
So, only 2 tablets for depression and the rest for other things, but they aren’t even making a difference…the doctor says ‘no amount of dosage is going to make this go away so you need to figure out what it is that’s really bothering you’ um, I know full well what bothers me but most of the things that do are beyond my control and I cannot change them. I just don’t belong here you know?
I have online therapy because that was the quickest form of help they could give me…I have been feeling so anxious this week:( I’m not even really sure why, I […]