a while ago, i read an article that says extreme prolonged loneliness is just as bad as obesity as far as lowering life expectancy. i think, good. i am both extremely lonely and obese. i hope it doubles my chance of dying early. sometimes i get little chest pains. i’m only 18. but when it happens, i think about how it would feel to have a heart attack. that’s how i’ll probably go, if i don’t do it first; my obesity + the stress of loneliness/depression/everything else will finally come crashing down onto me, like lightning, and i’ll be gone.
I’m a relatively successful woman–if by successful you mean I have great friends, supportive family, enough money to get by. I may not have a ludicrous career at 32 years old, but I’d like to think I’m okay even if I get jealous over younger, more successful people all the time.
But I hate myself. I go out and have a fun time, I think I look pretty at times, there are also times I think I’m on the top of the world.
I’ve always hated myself for as long as I remember. I remember being 10 years old, thinking that I should be killing myself because […]
When they asked me if you called me on my birthday, I sad yes, cause I knew that if I told them that you didn’t, they would “hate” you and I don’t want that. They don’t have the rights to hate you, I mean you have not do something bad, hurtful and evil to them. So, the only one who would hate you, would be me. Cause all the things you do to me are pure evil, and still I can’t create the feeling of hate towards you. I think of it, but I don’t feel it. My mouth say it but my heart and […]
But I have to suffer. I got ditched. She’s just a ***** cause she don’t want to understand. Unanswered emails, phone calls and texts. Ignore me, that’s a good way to heal a man.
I bet you’re living the good life now
Probably got back with your old boyfriend who treated you like crap
But I was the bad one
You couldn’t understand me
I hope you’re happy
I’m no longer a burden
Only on myself.
i’m working at my dream job. it is stressful but meaningful that i have some “uh-huh life is good” moments from time to time.
but every time when i sit down quietly, i can feel the pain. i feel the emptiness in my chest. i still wish i were dead.
seems like i see the good things as separate incidents while blaming all the bad things on life as a whole.
yesterday when i was done and tried to kill myself, i found out something new about myself :i’m so coward . i was REALLY angry of being alive but i couldn’t kill myself i couldn’t cut my wrist with blade. i tried but it was painful so i just ended up crying like a little child and now i have another reason to hate myself. i always thought that i can kill myself if i really want to but i was absolutely wrong.
my sister told me that she loves me and begged me not to kill myself. i remember once she cried so hard on […]
I’m an angry fuck for good reason (I think) !!! For every bad week there is a good day coming. Between that and my kids I keep the barrel out of my mouth, but the choice is there!!!
I apologize for the lengthiness of this in advance. Just kind of the story of my life starting from 7th grade to now. No need to read it if you don’t want to.
I’m only 15. I’m currently a freshman in high school, and I’ve been battling depression since around seventh grade.
Before you ask: no, I’m not diagnosed, but I’m positive I’m depressed. I’m perfectly aware of all of the symptoms associated with depression, most of which I have.
Anyway, the symptoms started appearing sometime around sixth grade, but not enough so that I was truly depressed. My grandfather had died the year before, and I didn’t […]
So I start my position as assistant manager today and I just did a shot of heroin in front of the cameras. It’s sad that a hardcore drug addict has a better work ethic than all of these normal people. I feel bad when I get promoted over people that have been with the company for years and I havent even been here a year.
I think about myself and the world but l can’t understand why we are here then l decided until I’m alive never,never think about this things again.
Even though my life is like a black hole and l want die but life doesn’t stop
But when i was near to the death my friend from the school give me a message about their music concert
I don’t want go but he insisted and l think that is not bad to do something new therefore while i wasn’t sure about that, l went and when it began my heart began to throb, Music is wonderful it’s my reason for […]
hello 🙂
what bullying and would you consider this bullying?
alright. since the start of the year I have met these group of girls (I am a girl) who have made me felt very upset. I am quiet and shy and normally don’t speak up about these things. it first started when they just stared at me, they would laugh at me and try to humilate me. 2 weeks after I had met them they would speak really loudly bad things about me then laugh. it really hurt my reputation and now I have no friends. I was recovering from self harm and it made me want […]
If kill myself, my dad will blame my mom. Scream at her “You were supposed to be the one watching after her” followed by how he has two jobs, followed about how she doesn’t have a job, about how she should have read the signs, how she was always in the way and the lies will spew on and on until she is sick and lonely and miserable. He will make it all about him and then, with his room locked, he will let my message of how much of a failure as a father he is finally hit him.
I wish suicide was like disappearing, […]
Recently me and my girlfriend broke up because of the things I have done in the past. I came up front and told her the things I did while we were together. So she decided to leave me. I’m not sure if she’s going to completely walk out my life just yet, but she has been ignoring me for a week now. My heart is just aching so bad from this situation. I wanted to tell her those things because I didn’t want to lie anymore. I’m so in love with this girl and she’s trying to walk out my life. Lately I have been […]
my mind really meant to me. I spent the majority of my teen and adolecent years concerned with how I looked, what I wore, who I spent time with and so on. My educaiton was never a really huge concern of mine (although I did care if I was able to get the higher marks on my sudies along with my peers) but I did okay as far as all of that went. Even into my 20’s I wasn’t as concerned with what I knew as much as I was with what I was doing at the time.
Now, here I am in my late […]
my head hurts. i’m very depressed. i feel that fog descending on me again…
it’s 7:07 pm and i want out of this life. i want to be gone. i know it’s probably wrong of me to feel this way… i must be pretty selfish to even consider it. many people would tell me so… i mean, what about my family, right?? especially my mom… she would be wrecked if i did this to her… i am her ‘rock’, her only support. but, at the same time, i cannot help it. i feel this pull, this urge to go… i want so badly to go… […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yG0YgUpPlg
OK so I’m 16 years old and I am really close with a teacher at my school. She’s keeping a secret from everyone else that I do drugs (Pain killers) and she’s trying to help me bring up my grades by DRAGGING me to tutorials. And talking to me about why I feel so empty. But she is trying to get me to stop taking drugs and cutting myself, and I cant. She shows me how much she loves and cares about me, and I love it. But I’m hurting her by continuing to do the bad things that I do. So I just decided to […]
I snapped at my step mom today and I feel like a total ass. It was for something so minor I don’t even know why I did it.
I just feel so guilty all the time for everything. I feel guilty for taking up space for living.
I just don’t deserve it. I’m such a horrible fucked up person. My “friends” who were once my biggest supporters turned against me and started saying these horrible things about me. I believe them. I hate myself so its easier to believe the bad over the good. I can’t take compliments.
I’m sorry this is so long. I hope you’re having […]
One thing happened. This one thing was so similar to what had happened in the past. It was horrible, shameful, embarrassing, and suddenly I felt as helpless as I has two years ago when I almost killed myself.
Two years ago after confessing to my mother that I wanted to die, I began seeing a therapist, got medicated, and slowly began to feel better. I have had two great years. I slowly distanced myself from the things that made me feel suicidal or just things I associated with bad feelings. I kept many of my relationships, but distanced the ones that had hurt me in the […]
I just turned 23 years old and im a Girl. and i have suicidal thoughts on and off for years. I believe it started in high school. It all began from my dad. He wis an alcoholic and bi polar and did steroids and a manic depressant etc. He didnt take his medicine for bi polar. My nightmare Of a life began in middle but it got really bad when i was about 15. He would get drunk and go in my room and lock me in there with him while he would get in my face, lay on top of me, throw me on […]