Tag:

bad

An actor in a play

by DawnNeverComes 10/11/2014

written by DawnNeverComes

I feel so pathetic. My life hasn’t even been that bad. I’ve never been physically abused by anyone. Both my parents are alive, and my family isn’t poor…

So why do I feel so depressed… So empty? I feel so tired, but I’m only 13. Why?

Maybe it’s because I have to put on a mask whenever someone is around, after all it’s been that way since I was 9… I think I’m even starting to trick myself with my own mask.

I feel like an actor in a play I never auditioned for… My script is prewritten and made to deceive, my mask to convince. I can’t […]

10/11/2014 1 comment

Mind Games

by goingunder 10/10/2014

written by goingunder

Hi, so i am new to this site and this is my first actual post.

I guess i am just looking for insight into … i don’t even really know, just what goes on inside my head maybe.

I have just recently been diagnosed with depression but i have kind of known for some years now that i have been depressed and i self harm.

So I have been reading some posts on here the past few days and most people talk about all of the struggles they have gone through in their lives and how they want to escape from all of their problems and reality. At […]

10/10/2014 3 comments

PTSD help needed plz

by jellybeanz28 10/7/2014

written by jellybeanz28

God I just wish this pain would go away. I actually slept a little today since I haven’t been sleeping at all the past couple weeks and then cleaned the house a bit to keep my mind off how much I want to die. I was doing good and then my PTSD hit fast and hard. I dropped the dish I was holding and it shattered on the floor as I crumpled into a ball. As the memories flooded my mind like a bad nightmare, I was shaking uncontrollably and had a hard time breathing. I was left with a new anger all over again […]

10/7/2014 8 comments

IF you really cared

by Bre 10/7/2014

written by Bre

This is me, the bubbly, fun, loving person with a side people dont understand. Lately me and this boy had a thing and it all went to shit and I keep cutting and having bad suicidal thoughts, sometimes I think about taking my whole bottle of pills just so I wont feel pain anymore. My arms burn more than ever and I havent been eating, my stomach hurts and just makes me so upset and I cant eat nothing, my family is getting worried […]

10/7/2014 6 comments

The Upside of Things With Me

by Riot 10/6/2014

written by Riot

Okay so I know I sound like I complained a lot in my last post but despite all that, I do have some upsides I guess I could share. If I find happiness in them maybe others will too.

#1(And my most important upside). Music! Music has always made me feel happy and I can’t help but get lost in it for hours singing along while I play video games or draw, which leads me to…

#2. Art. Drawing, painting, and writting help me calm myself down, usually because despite the fact that a lot of my drawings can be very […]

10/6/2014 2 comments

am I society’s plaything?

by 45caliberdeath 10/6/2014

written by 45caliberdeath

Society doesn’t want me around, much less do a damned thing to help me. But it will pull out all the fucking stops to keep me from leaving. Like an abusive husband who hates me but won’t let me divorce.

I am going to make an attempt soon (next six months to a few years, depending on how my plans work out). The only thing I fear now is failing and surviving with serious injury that preclude retries.

I am OK with leaving. Society isn’t. I must find a way to disobey society and leave. People have generally told me that I am intelligent. Well now, all […]

10/6/2014 5 comments

An Aquarian’s Suicidal Mind

by synthaxe 10/6/2014

written by synthaxe

First post I’ve read on this website was titled “Depressed Aquarius”, and I can relate to everything in there. I am an Aquarian too, and they say Aquarians are thinkers, no, overthinkers, but I am not quite sure if that is true for everyone, but for me it is. I had two aquarius ex girlfriends and I don’t think they tend to overthink as much as I do. I have never been diagnosed with depression or any mental health, I’ve never even consulted any medical professionals regarding it, but I have an ex girlfriend who was majoring in psychology in college when we were still […]

10/6/2014 12 comments

Suicidal Thoughts..

by monkey21 10/6/2014

written by monkey21

Suicidal thoughts don’t make you a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed. These thoughts occur to when our pain is greater than we can cope with. Will power has nothing to do with it. If we could cheer ourselves up, we would. We all experience different kinds of pain and we all have different limits. If you ever feel like giving up, just know that you are not alone. There are many of us feeling the same way. But don’t give in, talk to someone first. Talk to a friend, a stranger, talk to me..

10/6/2014 4 comments

hello

by toodepressedtothink 10/5/2014

written by toodepressedtothink

I hate attention so dont think im asking it with my posts. Im new, and not sure how to work this yet. So want to know me if you care?

Im deeply depressed, and only recently found out how bad it was.

Ive never told anyone I know about it.

Nobody at school knows.

Im 14.

Im a girl named randi-leigh.

I hate my name.

Im a “fake smiler”

I like imagine dragons

I cry a lot

My parents are divorced

I hate my body

I guess I have more problems then depression

I wish I coukd be dead.

10/5/2014 3 comments

writing

by mortuarychic 10/5/2014

written by mortuarychic

I’m trying to stay grounded, to not let this silly thing get to me, but I can’t. Writing is the only thing that is keeping me from hurting myself and even then I struggle to find my words. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing, that this guy was a douche or some other name, but I want to know why such a nice guy would say the cruelest thing to me the morning after such an amazing day. I was blind sided I thought things were going well he was sweet and never rude to me until this morning. I want to know what […]

10/5/2014 3 comments

My Beginning

by Anonymous 10/4/2014

written by Anonymous

Hi, I’m not going to tell you who I am, but I will tell you my beginning of how I started being suicidal.

So, It all started when i was 4 or 5. My mom drove me to my babysitter’s house and when we arrived there, I hugged her so tight and we played and stuff like that for an hour.. then she told me she was going to go outside for a few hours to garden like she does everyday, and so when she left, a few minutes later, A man came in and… he told me to follow […]

10/4/2014 6 comments

Please Help…

by walktheline 10/3/2014

written by walktheline

This is my first post on this site, I’ve come here more than a few times to read your stories and poems when I need to cry or try and feel better. But today things are different.

I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was about 13, I’m 25 now.

As a kid, I was an elite athlete. I dove springboard and tower and I was really, really good at it. So good that at 12 years old I was already training 5 nights a week and had set a National record for my age group. Being so good brought a lot of pressure into […]

10/3/2014 5 comments

suicide attempt fail

by Labeledleticia 10/3/2014

written by Labeledleticia

I attempted suicide about 4 months ago by slitting my wrists real bad, I feel like I came out even more fucked up from it because I survived. It kills me every day because nothing is the same and even worse than before. Please help, I might take a lot of prescribed pain killers and Antidepressants and overdose..

10/3/2014 4 comments

A light in the dark

by The Mad Hatter 10/3/2014

written by The Mad Hatter

In my time of deepest despair and anger, when everything was falling apart, I got an unexpected phone call from a friend I met on here. I mean unexpected, I just gave my number in the offchance they might text me if everything went bad. But they read my post on here and gave me a call, and it made such a difference. I dont feel so alone anymore. I have people around me, and my doctor and councillor but if I told them truthfully what I was really thinking and feeling and planning it would be hospital time, and that means cant truly share myself. Until […]

10/3/2014 10 comments

Tears

by Not typical 10/3/2014

written by Not typical

Woke up today and sobbed into my pillow. My son came to see me. He made me feel somewhat better. He should not be the one to wipe away my tears. Not these tears. Not for this reason. I hate feeling this way every day. I cried out for relief. I finally made myself go out, again. I went out to see friends. It took me several hours. I am cheating everyone I interact with and myself when I feel this way. I feel better now, but what a waste. I can’t stand to live this way. I can picture myself completing this. I have wanted […]

10/3/2014 2 comments

Rock bottom

by snader 10/2/2014

written by snader

This is it, my limits have been overrun by such bad feelings and thoughts.
I have never felt this bad in my whole entire life, this is consuming me and i don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Everyone i have turned to for help, has just ignored the fact i’m very suicidal or minimalised how i feel. They don’t take me serious, they underestimate how bad i feel and how suicidal i am and how badly i want to die. Even my therapist ignored the fact i’m suicidal, even though i told her everything.
Nobody wants to help me. I see that now.

My […]

10/2/2014 1 comment

It’s getting closer to my time to go

by ihateeverything 10/2/2014

written by ihateeverything

So, this is my first time posting and I’ll try to keep it short. My life has actually been pretty normal but i still have overwhelming darkness that over takes me somtimes. It used to be triggered by big events but more and more it’s small and insignificant things that send me on a downward spiral. I’ve read posts on this site off and on for my two years or so and sometimes it gives me enough perspective to realize that my life probably isn’t as bad as it feels or as i perceive it to be. However, I still find myself contemplating ending it. […]

10/2/2014 3 comments

whats the point..

by bored2death 10/2/2014

written by bored2death

ughh my life sucks. recently got sober from bad drug addiction..again. went to rehab 6 months, when i get out my ‘gf’ is 5 months pregnant (ya, not mine obviously].. end up relapsing…i still love this girl, she got me on the drugs in the first place….she’s had the kid now, she only calls when she needs something..i always help her out [always been the case]. now shes sober, or so she says… as am i, and she wont talk to me.. i got a new job, she came in the restaurant i manage with her baby daddy not knowing i worked there…just sent me […]

10/2/2014 1 comment

Time to go

by kontinkatink 10/1/2014

written by kontinkatink

Well, I’ve certainly thought about suicide long enough and after 3 attempts I sure know how to cross the psychological line, to push through the barrier, to take my own life. So why do it? Well, here’s why…

– Abuse as a child. Now, whilst that may kill some all on it’s own believe it or not it’s not the only reason. Just one of a long long list of abuses I’ve endured

– Cancer at age 17. Battled that for 5 years and still carry significant issues 35 years later. One doctor butchered me so bad that even other doctors asked “Who did that to you?”. […]

10/1/2014 4 comments

Taken like I read it….

by IllSendForMyThings 9/30/2014

written by IllSendForMyThings

Mother, I will address you first since I have known you the longest: Well, EXCUUUUUUSE ME! So sorry my very existence screwed your life up so bad. You had a couple of options, and it’s not my fault your chosen mate was already married with a family. Now you can just go on your merry way and live out your golden years without the horror of your past staring you in the face every day. And yes, I did this on purpose so you would have to bury me. You said you didn’t think you could make it if lil bro died from his cocaine […]

9/30/2014 3 comments

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