Hi i feal really bad i think i need to die my mom call s me names when i was younger she punched me a lot now i am 16 and she tells me that i am nothing that i am as my dad . I cry a lot because i think if i die i will not see my causines to grow up or will make my grand parents sad . I balive that there is someting to live for but i can not live because hering so much bad stuff hurts me a lot i think the only thing is to jup under […]
I feel so pathetic. My life hasn’t even been that bad. I’ve never been physically abused by anyone. Both my parents are alive, and my family isn’t poor…
So why do I feel so depressed… So empty? I feel so tired, but I’m only 13. Why?
Maybe it’s because I have to put on a mask whenever someone is around, after all it’s been that way since I was 9… I think I’m even starting to trick myself with my own mask.
I feel like an actor in a play I never auditioned for… My script is prewritten and made to deceive, my mask to convince. I can’t […]
Hi, so i am new to this site and this is my first actual post.
I guess i am just looking for insight into … i don’t even really know, just what goes on inside my head maybe.
I have just recently been diagnosed with depression but i have kind of known for some years now that i have been depressed and i self harm.
So I have been reading some posts on here the past few days and most people talk about all of the struggles they have gone through in their lives and how they want to escape from all of their problems and reality. At […]
God I just wish this pain would go away. I actually slept a little today since I haven’t been sleeping at all the past couple weeks and then cleaned the house a bit to keep my mind off how much I want to die. I was doing good and then my PTSD hit fast and hard. I dropped the dish I was holding and it shattered on the floor as I crumpled into a ball. As the memories flooded my mind like a bad nightmare, I was shaking uncontrollably and had a hard time breathing. I was left with a new anger all over again […]
This is me, the bubbly, fun, loving person with a side people dont understand. Lately me and this boy had a thing and it all went to shit and I keep cutting and having bad suicidal thoughts, sometimes I think about taking my whole bottle of pills just so I wont feel pain anymore. My arms burn more than ever and I havent been eating, my stomach hurts and just makes me so upset and I cant eat nothing, my family is getting worried […]
Okay so I know I sound like I complained a lot in my last post but despite all that, I do have some upsides I guess I could share. If I find happiness in them maybe others will too.
#1(And my most important upside). Music! Music has always made me feel happy and I can’t help but get lost in it for hours singing along while I play video games or draw, which leads me to…
#2. Art. Drawing, painting, and writting help me calm myself down, usually because despite the fact that a lot of my drawings can be very […]
Society doesn’t want me around, much less do a damned thing to help me. But it will pull out all the fucking stops to keep me from leaving. Like an abusive husband who hates me but won’t let me divorce.
I am going to make an attempt soon (next six months to a few years, depending on how my plans work out). The only thing I fear now is failing and surviving with serious injury that preclude retries.
I am OK with leaving. Society isn’t. I must find a way to disobey society and leave. People have generally told me that I am intelligent. Well now, all […]
First post I’ve read on this website was titled “Depressed Aquarius”, and I can relate to everything in there. I am an Aquarian too, and they say Aquarians are thinkers, no, overthinkers, but I am not quite sure if that is true for everyone, but for me it is. I had two aquarius ex girlfriends and I don’t think they tend to overthink as much as I do. I have never been diagnosed with depression or any mental health, I’ve never even consulted any medical professionals regarding it, but I have an ex girlfriend who was majoring in psychology in college when we were still […]
Suicidal thoughts don’t make you a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed. These thoughts occur to when our pain is greater than we can cope with. Will power has nothing to do with it. If we could cheer ourselves up, we would. We all experience different kinds of pain and we all have different limits. If you ever feel like giving up, just know that you are not alone. There are many of us feeling the same way. But don’t give in, talk to someone first. Talk to a friend, a stranger, talk to me..
I hate attention so dont think im asking it with my posts. Im new, and not sure how to work this yet. So want to know me if you care?
Im deeply depressed, and only recently found out how bad it was.
Ive never told anyone I know about it.
Nobody at school knows.
Im 14.
Im a girl named randi-leigh.
I hate my name.
Im a “fake smiler”
I like imagine dragons
I cry a lot
My parents are divorced
I hate my body
I guess I have more problems then depression
I wish I coukd be dead.
I’m trying to stay grounded, to not let this silly thing get to me, but I can’t. Writing is the only thing that is keeping me from hurting myself and even then I struggle to find my words. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing, that this guy was a douche or some other name, but I want to know why such a nice guy would say the cruelest thing to me the morning after such an amazing day. I was blind sided I thought things were going well he was sweet and never rude to me until this morning. I want to know what […]
Hi, I’m not going to tell you who I am, but I will tell you my beginning of how I started being suicidal.
So, It all started when i was 4 or 5. My mom drove me to my babysitter’s house and when we arrived there, I hugged her so tight and we played and stuff like that for an hour.. then she told me she was going to go outside for a few hours to garden like she does everyday, and so when she left, a few minutes later, A man came in and… he told me to follow […]
This is my first post on this site, I’ve come here more than a few times to read your stories and poems when I need to cry or try and feel better. But today things are different.
I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was about 13, I’m 25 now.
As a kid, I was an elite athlete. I dove springboard and tower and I was really, really good at it. So good that at 12 years old I was already training 5 nights a week and had set a National record for my age group. Being so good brought a lot of pressure into […]
I attempted suicide about 4 months ago by slitting my wrists real bad, I feel like I came out even more fucked up from it because I survived. It kills me every day because nothing is the same and even worse than before. Please help, I might take a lot of prescribed pain killers and Antidepressants and overdose..
In my time of deepest despair and anger, when everything was falling apart, I got an unexpected phone call from a friend I met on here. I mean unexpected, I just gave my number in the offchance they might text me if everything went bad. But they read my post on here and gave me a call, and it made such a difference. I dont feel so alone anymore. I have people around me, and my doctor and councillor but if I told them truthfully what I was really thinking and feeling and planning it would be hospital time, and that means cant truly share myself. Until […]
Woke up today and sobbed into my pillow. My son came to see me. He made me feel somewhat better. He should not be the one to wipe away my tears. Not these tears. Not for this reason. I hate feeling this way every day. I cried out for relief. I finally made myself go out, again. I went out to see friends. It took me several hours. I am cheating everyone I interact with and myself when I feel this way. I feel better now, but what a waste. I can’t stand to live this way. I can picture myself completing this. I have wanted […]
This is it, my limits have been overrun by such bad feelings and thoughts.
I have never felt this bad in my whole entire life, this is consuming me and i don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Everyone i have turned to for help, has just ignored the fact i’m very suicidal or minimalised how i feel. They don’t take me serious, they underestimate how bad i feel and how suicidal i am and how badly i want to die. Even my therapist ignored the fact i’m suicidal, even though i told her everything.
Nobody wants to help me. I see that now.
My […]
So, this is my first time posting and I’ll try to keep it short. My life has actually been pretty normal but i still have overwhelming darkness that over takes me somtimes. It used to be triggered by big events but more and more it’s small and insignificant things that send me on a downward spiral. I’ve read posts on this site off and on for my two years or so and sometimes it gives me enough perspective to realize that my life probably isn’t as bad as it feels or as i perceive it to be. However, I still find myself contemplating ending it. […]
ughh my life sucks. recently got sober from bad drug addiction..again. went to rehab 6 months, when i get out my ‘gf’ is 5 months pregnant (ya, not mine obviously].. end up relapsing…i still love this girl, she got me on the drugs in the first place….she’s had the kid now, she only calls when she needs something..i always help her out [always been the case]. now shes sober, or so she says… as am i, and she wont talk to me.. i got a new job, she came in the restaurant i manage with her baby daddy not knowing i worked there…just sent me […]
Well, I’ve certainly thought about suicide long enough and after 3 attempts I sure know how to cross the psychological line, to push through the barrier, to take my own life. So why do it? Well, here’s why…
– Abuse as a child. Now, whilst that may kill some all on it’s own believe it or not it’s not the only reason. Just one of a long long list of abuses I’ve endured
– Cancer at age 17. Battled that for 5 years and still carry significant issues 35 years later. One doctor butchered me so bad that even other doctors asked “Who did that to you?”. […]