Hi, so i am new to this site and this is my first actual post.
I guess i am just looking for insight into … i don’t even really know, just what goes on inside my head maybe.
I have just recently been diagnosed with depression but i have kind of known for some years now that i have been depressed and i self harm.
So I have been reading some posts on here the past few days and most people talk about all of the struggles they have gone through in their lives and how they want to escape from all of their problems and reality. At first it made my problems seem trivial and I almost felt bad for being depressed because there are so many people out there who have had worse experiences than i have. But the thing is I dont think my experiences have really caused my depression. Now i will try to explain what i am feeling but i have always been bad with words… I feel like there is just this feeling of suffering and insignificance inside of me that is just always there and always bringing me down. It is like this demon that my mind has created that is causing problems it causes me to feel like i have no purpose, it blocks my motivation and messes with my concentration. I feel like its not my experiences which have made my life difficult but just my mind and its becoming my reality and causing my problems in school and with other people. for instance i get mood swings and have been so on edge and aggressive towards people. it is really difficult for me because i have always been regarded as a very kind and caring person and prided myself on being there for others but now i just get snappy and regret it after it happens but i cant stop it either, these feelings just suddenly take over me and i dont know what to do. And i dont have any motivation for anything, i cant find enjoyment in any kind of activity and am constantly asking myself why i am even doing it and they are things that i have previously loved too..
Well i guess thats just what i wanted to say, maybe you guys understand
thanks
3 comments
Hey there goingunder. When life is unfair it’s hard not to be angry. I get like that too so you’re not alone. I don’t really know what the answer is otherwise I wouldn’t feel like I do. You sound like you have a good heart though and that’s important. I helped a disabled woman yesterday and another lady came up to me and complimented me on how nicely I’d treated the woman. I didn’t need that compliment really cuz it was an easy thing to do anyway but it still felt good.
Depression can occur without much of a reason or any real warning, A feeling of not being bothered anymore and that things are pointless in life can overcome anyone at any point in their life. It’s important to try and keep it under control rather than letting it drag you down further. I’m sorry that you harm yourself, it may help short term but will only be part of the problem, if you can stop then so much the better. I suppose the only thing I can really say is to talk to those people you trust about how you feel and the problems you are facing in life and use this site if it helps, that’s what it’s for.
Hello there. The first mistake you made was trying to compare your depression to someone elses, depression is an individual thing, if someone you cared about dies and some one I care about dies, that does not mean we are going through the same thing. Yes I probably have a better chance of connecting with you, but we are not feeling the same. Depression is like a finger print, yours is unique. that’s why it takes so long for some people to get the right meds and dosages. On depression, you say peoples problems seem trivial but people can only see things from their little worlds, if someone spills coffee on their shirt first thing in the morning, it is probably going to ruin their morning, it does matter that there is a war in the middle east, or that some homeless person is freezing to death somewhere, the guy with the wet and stained shirt is going to upset. Just because you see someone else’s problem as trivial doesn’t mean they see it that way, it could be the most important thing in the world to them to be thin, or be pretty or have a partner. That said I hope you can find some help on this site, I know it helped me a lot. You should try meditation it could help you confront those repressed feelings making you angry all the time. Anger is a sign of irritation, irritation is caused only by feelings. Don’t know what those feelings are? get digging and find them and deal with them.