So I woke up in one of my moods again. I feel alone when I wake up, but I said I was going to make a difference so I’m not going to let my bad mood get the best of me. I think I’m getting alittle better besides from the mood swings, do any of y’all know if mood swings are from depression? I don’t really understand why I wake up in bad moods I go to sleep in a good one and then I’m just like fuck everything. But anyways can someone help me out and tell me what I can do about these […]
So um, I guess I am kinda new here, ok? But eh… I kinda need someone to share this with. It’s been eating me for so long now.
So uhhh first, a bit of background: I am an “artist”. Which means I am a talentless amateur who can’t even draw a stick figure right! But whatever.
Have you heard of that site “deviantart”? It is frankly terrible. I frequent it.
So 2 years ago or so, there was this… it was kinda like an RP group. I was bored so ehh let’s join it. But applications were closed and you had to wait and they had a chatroom […]
I realized that I’m not living because I want to,or because I have hope that maybe tomorrow or a few days from now will be better….I’m only living because if I did kill myself it would make others lives worse,even though those lives I would be making worse by dieing are the same people who are making my life a living hell. I’m not here because I have hope or because I have a will to live….I’m just empty,but for some reason I still have to be here.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I don’t think I can be saved. I’m seriously considering murdering my great-grandmother since I feel her death would be merciful for the entire family… I know killing an old lady of 103 with severe dementia is morally questionable but I know I’m immoral. I mean I think Earth will be better off without humans and would even nuke Earth if I could. Sorry animals but it’s for the greater good.
my life has got so much better. i love it. i got my first love back and everything is going amazing . so no more suiccide and I’m off this website bye bitchez. đŸ™‚
I failed you baby, on 1-18-15 I fucked up and I failed you. I wasn’t there for you when you really needed me, my bipolar wasn’t medicated or known yet and I freaked out, I made the worse/stupidest mistake of my life and I kicked you out our house when you needed me. I failed you in every way possible as your man that day, and I failed our lil family… I tore it apart. I’m the reason we’re not together anymore. I got help, I knew something was wrong and I got help…found out I’m bipolar and have anxiety, I go to therapy/ counseling […]
It’s been months since I’ve had a drink and more than a year since I got off of morphine, but I need something now. Something stronger than the half bottle of whiskey I’ve got in the garage.
Say what you will, but self medication works better than anything else I’ve tried.
I’ll miss this place. My family is here. I miss working here. I’ll miss everyone.
New years about a month away.
Somehow i want this year to finish yet i dont want 2016 to start.
Cus nothings gonna change, people always say stupid fucking shit like, new years resolution and turn over a new leaf.
But the truth is we will all be the same.
The people better than me(almost everyone i know) will keep getting better and ill still be stuck in the same old shit.
And ofc, she still wont know i love her and will continue to ignore my existence.
My acedamics will keep on falling till they hit the ned rock.
And finally, i will keep […]
Always u hear on news bad things happen i always wonder why or how pple can just buy guns and or try to guns was made for protection i think they should do better job on keeping guns only to protection
Thought I would feel better if I punched that steel door a few times. And I did, for a bit. But now the redness is fading and I don’t even have any bruises to look at. What a waste. Apparently I don’t hit hard enough.
Hey everybody : I know its been a while since I last posted I just thought I’d post this. I was in the shower earlier this morning when I realized That I haven’t self harmed myself in a little over two months. I noticed it when I was feeling my hip bones this morning and noticed one of my major scars healed almost completely. Though my appetite is still shitty ( due to finals coming up next week) . My mood has been getting better which is a good thing at least. đŸ™‚
I feel less suicidal, being nothing.
I am not a student, not an employee, not a daughter, not part of society. Not glum, not unattractive, not any other adjective.
I feel better when I am not obliged to fake emotions. I dont mind being alone anymore. Can I just float through the days, just for awhile?
Can I stop identifying myself as my experiences? Can I stop feeling ashamed for having not accomplished anything? Can I stop identifying as a human, and just wander through Time as nothing, just for a little while?
but better cuz there’s no adds
I thought I was slowly getting better. I feel terrible all over again. Family is planning to go to the beach tomorrow, after visiting the cemetery. This just reminded me that we were at the beach 6 days before my brother died. He was talking about life, my life. How important it is that I hold on. But I cant. Not without him.
Just now, my parents told me that my cousin commited suicide because he couldnt deal with my brother’s death. They had said his death was an accident. He died just weeks after my brother died.
I see myself cutting tonight or getting […]
Hey guys, I haven’t been on here in a little bit and I think it would be best for me if I leave.. I feel this place is a good release but the surrounding negativity doesn’t help me. My mom is getting really on my case because I’ve been cutting again and other problems in life are arising and I think I should try to do better. I wish all of you luck, truly, and if you ever want to talk just ask for my email on this post, ill try to check it for awhile. Do better in this life than I have.
I want to die but I can’t die.It will destroy my family, what’s left from it. I don’t see a point in living this life. My atheist beliefs destroyed me, it’s like what can be better than going into the nothingness you came from or search for the unknown. Sadly, I am a person that has a big IQ . And persons with high intelligence tend more to go insane. My experiences in life turned me to believe in nothing, somehow deep down I still hope for something but what can be better than eternal tranquility? I also suffered from anxiety and depression and with […]
It’s been over 3 weeks since I last hurt myself. Last night, I felt so shitty all I wanted to do was pick up my scalpel blades and slash away at my thighs. I thought I should read a few stories about other people who self-harm. I really want to stop, but I just can’t.
I sat in my bed with the blade in my hand. The stories I had read started playing out in my head. I felt the shit I think I’m in is nothing compared to what other people are going through. But I still wanted to cut.
Usually, cutting makes me […]
I’ve recently found the courage to talk to someone about me. But now I’ve lost contact with him. He made me feel better. Now I feel like crap all over again.
It’s hard to find someone who understands and doesn’t judge. I guess that’s why I’ve joined SP. I need someone who understands.