I take one glance at my wrist and see the thin bluish, greenish web-like veins
The urge to open them up today is to strong
To feel the high hot warmth of blood drip and then then rush down my wrists contaminating whatever it lands on.
To feel the sharp jabs of needles that causes my eyes to water and for me to go momentarily blind.
I pray for an eternal silence.
Usually the thoughts to take my own life start when the day is coming to an end, today they started when i opened my eyes with the help of my mom. Either she is blind, a retard, or a selfish.
I honestly dont wanna be here anymore, no one seems concerned with what is actually bothering me yet i know they can see it, not like there is anyone anyway. When i blow out my candles this year ill wish i was never born, i usually wish for love and happieness but fuck that, that wish clearly isnt happening for me no matter what i […]
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she’s blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He’s always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world she would marry her boyfriend. One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, ” now that you can see the world, will you marry me ? ” The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later […]
well apart from being able to feel physical pain today which is not really normal for me still shocked usually completely numb anyways struggled to get up and to college but I did but my teacher is saying basically if I pass the next test I will be done thank fuck but I really don’t no what to do with myself when I finish more time on my hands and mind isn’t good but I ain’t got no goals or plans no interests now what ? Like I said before I didn’t really plan living this long I’m a decade over due Now were is […]
Broken and empty. Only a book of memories and no life prospects. Fake smiles and a fake laugh that doesn’t even fool the deaf or blind. Through the motions of grainy and redundant. Isolation fills my heart and my life is unkind. I cease to exist not to take my own light. If depression sets in it is an option, I might.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Are there any other ways to escape? Escape reality, and forget all this bullshit? I usually just sleep, but that’s not 100% enough, cause I wake up then can’t go back to sleep. I used to just watch videos but my phone is to slow, and if I keep going on my phone this much I’ll become legally blind. What other ways do you escape reality and forget about everything? I’m just trying to run away from my feelings. That’s all I can do at this point.
I’ve come here as a man in shambles
Worn out from begging on my knees
Please, I’m just trying to keep my family together
Now, when you saw your lover wore a ring around her finger
Why didn’t you stop
I have half a mind to make you hurt
To make you bleed, to make you suffer
I swear if you’ve touched her
Oh, heaven forgive what I would do to you
You monster
Think about your children
They’ll never believe what you’ve done
Listen, I am begging you, back off
Let me rebuild the things you’ve shattered
She meant it
I swear that she […]
Suicide
it seems so easy
no more pain
just one little step
and your life becomes in vain
it’s just so tempting
no more sarrow
a couple of pils
and no tomorrow
it seems about right
no more suffering
just one little cut
and no more fighting
its just so soothing
no more contest
just one quick shot
and your finally at rest
just jump off the bridge
across the river of life
lights out forever blind
but what of the hurt
of those you leave behind
people can be so blind to whats going on with other people i find it insane. For a few years now ive been depressed and im bipolar. Senior year i ended up cutting my wrist feeling alone is never fun. I simply dont understand all the people that i thought i was friends with or my family for a matter of fact can simply just not see the true pain and auffering i go though everyday. This past year i went to college and there was a bridge right near campus that 3 people would jump off of each month. The first time i heard […]
Hi, My name is stefan and I’m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my life and caused pain to a lot of people. I’m absolutely sure I will end up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other people that know for sure they will end up in hell.
I’m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So please answer me by email. my email address is: stefan@deds.nl
Best regards, Stefan.
My post might seem a little strange but this are my feelings and i hope to find someone that feels the same.
Title: who also expect to end up in hell
text: Hi, My name is stefan and i’m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my life and caused pain to many people. I’m absolutely sure i will end up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other people that know for sure they will end up in hell. I’m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So please answer me by email. my […]
What is the cause of the inequality that exists among mankind?
Why should one person be brought up in the lap of luxury, endowed with fine mental, moral and physical qualities, and another in absolute poverty, steeped in misery?
Why should one person be a mental prodigy, and another an idiot?
Why should one person be born with saintly characteristics and another with criminal tendencies?
Why should some be linguistic, artistic, mathematically inclined, or musical from the very cradle?
Why should others be congenitally blind, deaf, or deformed?|
Why should some be blessed, and others cursed from their births?
Get me past blood
Past walls
Past meds
Past the next step
Let me go blind
To the crippled
To that hospital image
To the dark colors
To how I got here
Let me go deaf
To the loud ringing
To the insecure patient
To the crying little boy
To the prosecutor
Let me not feel
The needles in my arm
Your razor blade tongue
The gnawing on my bones
I don’t believe that dead people speak
Nor that prophets walk on water
That just leaves me with
All those years of scrambled nonsense
And broken Angels
Amen
My top 3 are;
Marcy Playground- one more suicide
everclear- queen of the air
blind melon- St. Andrews Fall
When people use the term ‘Crazy” to describe the state of someone besides themselves in an attempt in invalidate another or to be made inferior to another, isnt it kinda like the blind leading the blind, don’t you think? I mean if you have to do these things in the first place, well thats just human right? No, it’s just fuckin crazy talk, but dont ask me, I know nothing. However, next time you are in a deep thought provoking conversation with the head of some cult or small 3rd world country and you manage to find yourself having to choose between their competence […]
A child that has been mentally bullied and raped may fall into depression. Who would’ve thunk that? Well, apparently no one.
My mom was there. I called her to come and help me but she didn’t do anything. Why didn’t you do anything? You could have saved me then and you could have saved me now.
You too, big brother. You’ve been there in your room, ignoring the screaming, turning your music up so you don’t have to do anything.
Dad, you’re excused. You were at the office all day. That’s not the best way to raise a child but you had to make some income, […]
I was very sick, that’s what started this and that’s what’s going to finish it. I was blind. All I have to do is stop taking my meds. I don’t know if it’ll be painless, I’m in pain now but I know it’ll be effective. It’ll be slow, but that’ll be my punishment. For there are a few things I wish to do before then.
Have you ever felt like a tree whose branches can not stretch out? The other seeds that were born along with you grow up as humans and you are the only one who actually a tree. People ask your protection when the sun is hot, or simply ignoring you. I kinda assure myself from time to time that ‘Well! It’s finally normal now, but then you see things become worse again and you feel you’re suck again and sick of it.’ It is more or less like an eternal death or a time paradox. There are blind people, homeless ppl, deaf ppl, and I have this […]
We are all born, for the most part, knowing absolutely nothing about where we are or why we came into existence. When we grow old enough, we eventually learn of the inevitable mortality we will all face; we all discover there is an end to life. Sometimes, I go to sleep and wake up wondering what’s after all of this existence. I grew up living within the structure of a Christian denomination, which presents the possibility of ending up in either Heaven or Hell, depending on how unjust or just of a life I lead. On the flip side, as I’m sure many have, I […]
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