I hate how I’m in so much pain the muscles on my body are so tensed n I can’t even relax now I’m stuck in a loop of pain n misery my spine need to get better if not I will be in pain forever I don’t want that. I’m tired all the time I don’t like to be in so much pain I feel like I’m never going to get any better my spine n back are messing up my whole body n the bones everything is different my neck is forward but twisted the muscles are so everything is such a bothersome for […]
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body
I feel better than I have in weeks. Still nervous and worried but I have a smile on my face. I am finding it difficult to focus. I’m finding it difficult to go on in certain ways. I need to figure certain things out. Maybe this isn’t what I’m meant to do in life. maybe I should run away. I’ve always wanted to run away, like Holden Caulfield. I think I should give this life a try and then see if I still feel the same in a few months.
I’ve gained some weight and I’m still getting use to my body. It feels like it […]
So, I’m broke. Lonely. Celibate, and plan to stay that way. I’ve been trying to find ways that I can make money. I haven’t worked in 8 years. I just turned 27. Are there short pudgy exotic dancers? Cuz that might be kinda fun, but I’m not skinny. I like dressing up, and I like it when guys look at me and wish they could have me. It’s flattering. But given that my body type isn’t “Barbie”, I’m just wondering if there’s any possibility in this career choice.
Thoughts? Suggestions?
I hate my body I really don’t know what to do in life I have no talent n I can’t be of any use to anymore we’ll at times that what my stepdad thinks. But I sometimes believe him I wish I wasn’t in so much pyshical pain n to try n get better while waiting I feel so scared n wonder about how am I still here. It’s difficult right now my body feels like a accordion I hope I spelled that right cause certain areas of my body feel either twisted or stretched out why is there hope… but I want to talk […]
I’m so tired of this. Every night the urge gets worse. Worst part is, I don’t think I’ll ever work up the nerve to kill myself. I can’t buy a gun, and there’s no way to hang myself (nothing sturdy enough to withstand the jolt of a body dropping). I don’t have strong enough rope, anyway. There’s a knife in here with me, and in the moments when I slither out of bed to look out at the sky–star light star bright please don’t make me live another night–I hold it, study it, contemplate it. It’s blunt, and forcing it past layers of skin and […]
Trust.
That word alone makes me confused. It’s something you give to someone and expect them to respect it. I gave that to a couple people and a couple people abused that. Someone close to me, he abused it. What he did changed my view on him forever. He didn’t do much but it was enough to cause my body to tense up and I was paralyzed with confusion and fear.
Why did he touch me that way? Did he think I was my mother? Being intoxicated changes what you see. I don’t know really, I was practically a hold still. It scares me thinking that he […]
I’ve been dead for a while now. I have removed myself from friends and family, acquaintances, reality. I have sat in one room for 2 days now. No one has missed me or checked on me either. Not moving except to go to the bathroom. Well, longer than that if you want to be technical. For about a year and a half, I have gone through the motions of living. I have a steady job and income. But I realize that I’ve been dead for a long time. At least dead to who I used to be and maybe I never really was anyone to […]
I’m tired these muscles spasms n my anxiety makes it worse I feel like dying every day I want this pain to end my whole.body hurts I’m everything I do to make myself relax n try n get better it sucks nothing help pills or cream or this pain it feels like my body is going hunchback n shit it really hurts n want to get surgery but doctor needs more info from.my scans I have to take n I can’t stand still arm muscles feel so bad I’m getting worse I’m.any better I want stop this I’m hopeless can I call it quits I […]
I can’t do this.. Whenever i find reason to be a little bit happy, someone destroy it.. They say something or do something that makes me feel not good enough.. I am not super model and i have normal body but my mother always tells me that I am fat and that i need to think what I eat.. But she is the one who buys me sweets and bad food but when i say that to her she just ignore me..Some guy at school tell me I am fat every day but i think I can ignore him because I don’t like him..And then […]
I hate being in pain my back n muscles hurt why. I really want to get better but I don’t know how long I can wait before I just give in my spine is curved it messing up my whole body because the spine has a whole bunch of nerves n it makes me feel awful about myself I don’t want this pain
I may never die. Someone else wearing my DNA, the telomeres shorter — a body built of different atoms; a different organism will die in my stead.
What are we from moment to the next? We are already gone; lost in time. An instant passed inexorably; an individual altered irreversibly; life exists only as a continuum of perpetual chaos.
You are an individual existing for just a moment with the previous moment’s memory.
Man I hope I get better n if I need surgery to for my spine n the pain will stop hopefully stupid muscle spasms it hate myself it’s very difficult for me not to worry about the future of my well being it scares me cause I want to get better so badly I’m hurting constantly every day it’s something else on me one day it’s my neck another could be my shoulders or any other part of me that feels wrong n out of place I can’t sleep at times n when I do I don’t want to get up because of how pain […]
I just.. I feel so empty. Yeah, normally its easy to laugh it off and hide behind a mask, act normal, human even. But right now, when I’m sitting at home and in bed, all of my walls come down. I feel so weak and hopeless- and of course my parents choose this very moment to tell me how worthless I am and how I’ll never amount to anything and how I should have been more like my brother. The worst part? I agree with them.
I’m not anything special; I don’t have any outstanding talents- and trust me on this. I can read people […]
R.I.P J.M
YOU’RE GONE
They dug him a grave six feet deep within the pallid earthly dirt amidst God’s acre
He is gone – a Priest announced sympathetically. Too young for his life to be over
After the cerise and snowy-white roses were gracefully cast upon his brown coaxed coffin; they covered his ashen body’s casket under a coat of soil, and a tile of risen concrete protection
The patch around his gravestone gradually becoming stonewashed
As the years of that significant date’s memorial’s winter sun shone down upon it evermore
I now realise the existence of the demons he’d been facing
My hands clenched in fists as I realised that […]
All the mental and emotional stress hurts.
My body is starting to hurt as well.
I just hope the pain ends.
I can’t stop crying.
I just want inner peace.
I don’t know what it is about him that makes me feel worthless n nothing to him I have spinal scoliosis see he doesn’t seem to believe that n sees me as lieing about how much pain I’m in he has been my stepdad for about 10 years since I was in grade school I’m so tired of him I’ve been in pain from my spine n body for about 3 years but lately it’s just been getting worse I don’t know what to do I feel like giving up on life n he doesn’t care for I can see it in his eyes […]
I cry, but I shed no tears
I’m hurting, but I’m not bleeding
I’m dying, but my body’s surviving
I’ve been broken, but my scars don’t show
I’m withering away, but my body’s still ageing
I’ve lost sight of a future, but I am not blind
I cannot voice my angst, but I am not mute
I feel numb inside, but I can still feel my heart beating
I’ve lost my motivation, but I am still walking
I cannot breathe, but my lungs are still functioning
I cannot feel, but my pain still taunts me
I’ve lost the war, but I am still fighting my battle
Hello everybody. I really hate alot of things about myself. I recently discovered that I’m transsexual. I’m an 18 year old attending college to get a mechanical engineering degree. I feel like if I transition I’m going to destroy everything I worked for because I heard that workplaces just hate hiring transgender people. I also feel like if I transition I’m going to end up still looking manly due to being fat, acne ridden and hairy. I am also half black and from what I researched and understand black male to female transgender people don’t transition well. And to make things worse I’m not able […]
Surrounded by people yet all alone.
The summer sun bright in the sky.
Yet she felt nought but the cold of a dreaded winter
Finally she had opened up.
She allowed the world to know the pain she’d hidden inside all her life.
Yet the euphoria lasted but a couple of weeks
Like a waterfall she fell dramatically back into dysphoria
Her heart ached as she laid in her bed, the drugs numbing her body but not her mind.
She embraced her fears but she’d come this far and had just fallen.
Why were they helping someone that was corrupted, possessed by the darkness that haunted […]
something so beautiful and puzzling about the quickness in which ants die, when there’s just a bunch all swarming to a tiny bit of mountain dew that’s spilled on the counter, completely indulging in their desire. ants can’t really do much except mate and eat. human activities for ‘fun’ are just our creation… so, when ants give into their desires and slurp mountain dew and piss off humans, are they sinning, or what? do they even know they’re making people mad? or do they just think it’s a gift from above? do ants even think at all? does any thinking that humans do or anything […]