I got home from school to see that no one was home. Tears were streaming don my face as I made my way to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed  in deep thought. Why do I have to be so ugly? Fat..worthless..stupid? I feel so alone-my friends..suggested we stop hanging out. I’m not a lesbian by the way. I may be a tad bisexual but so what? I’m not fully gay. And to anyone who IS gay, don’t be ashamed. My brain was clouded with thoughts. I screamed out in frustration and practically tore apart my room. Stuff was strewn out […]
Tag:
Bracelets
Okay, nothing is working. I’m always sad even when I’m happy, I feel empty. I stopped cutting. although it sounded like a good idea, but I can’t not cut. cutting was my way to release the fucking pain I feel inside. and honestly, I want to start smoking again. I want to smoke and just forget about everything. I’m such a failure. my friends don’t want me to smoke cigarettes anymore, but they have no problem trying to pressure me to smoke cigars (no not those big fat ones that mob bosses smoke all the time) where is your logic??
So, my question to you, where […]
I try every day to set myself up for someone I trust to see my scars. I even sit there in class and pick at the scabes or fiddle with the bracelets I use to hide them. I let my friends play with the bracelets, give them full view of my wrists. And they never notice. I just want someone to see, to understand, and to take my hand and lie to me and tell me it’s ok and that they’ll take care of me.
I’m sitting in my high school integrated science class, the closest seat to the front right hand corner facing the class. My teacher is babbling about how my class never shuts up.
“maybe if you actually taught something once in a while..” my mind starts fading and my eyes begin to wonder..
I land on the obnoxious popular boy sitting in the corner with his “clique”, I wonder if he knows they’re going to leave him if they find someone better. There’s some kid sleeping in the back corner by the door, I wonder if his mom cares about his slipping grades.. I wonder why […]
I can’t get my feet up off the edge, I kinda like the little rush you get, When you’re standing close to death, Like when you’re driving me crazy….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
this is what i sent to lauren earlier, it might not make much sense to your guys but its basically wha happened to me today….:/ <3
‘Ok…. So Mr Gregory tried to make me talk to Una when you left, I refused to step into her office, and then Lydia turned up…. I started to break down at this point. We all then went to sirs office and Miss Gentry was there, she said that if it was just about earlier then I should just go back to lesson, Lydia walked me to art and asked Miss Glover if she could take me to talk about […]