Is it possible for this sadness to break my body, every breath i take hurts like theirs something broken in my chest that spreads down to my arms and leg. This neverending tiredness that makes every step painful like the next movement is the one that will make my body crumble.
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breath
I don’t want to live in this world. You have to fake who you truly are inside to survive here…All we have left is what lives in our mind.
Unfortunately, our society places a high value on holding ourselves together and being strong.
You have to be competitive, better than the others, ready to adapt,… otherwise you’re dead to the world. If you have nothing to offer, you will get nothing… If you don’t fit society’s mold, you’ll drown. They tell us we’re crazy but i think, if someone is crazy here, it’s this hypocritical world.
People don’t seem to see that: some live like […]
It comes in waves, I close my eyes, hold my breath and let it bury me.
I’m not okay and it’s not all right; ¿Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?
Sometimes this helps. Just a little bit, when my feelings are tumultuous, anxiety is creeping through me and my stress levels are rising. I am overwhelmed by everything or nothing at all and It feels like I am at melting point, but I just want to stop feeling. To evaporate into thin air and just simply cease to be. Away from everything and everyone.
I Stop and I breath. Close your eyes if that helps, but breath in and out slowly. Concentrate on the air, going in and out, feel your chest rising gently and feel a wave of relaxation roll through your body, slowly washing over every […]
i can feel the sting as the blood trickles down my arms
i can feel the water rushing in my nose, my ears, my lungs
i can feel the rope tightening and my breath slowing down
i can feel the wind whipping past after i step off
i can feel so strongly that i sometimes feel nothing at all
After the dawn has come, and the moon no longer crest..the shadows on the walls still don’t seem to rest. Could be a day to forgive angels and saints..but the blood I’ve drawn is purely symbols for the pain.. and though it seems these ghosts should rest..they wait in the corner for me like a silence breaking breath.. take a single breath, followed by a three..double back to gasp for more, while choking down a fourth, and a fifth.. a day I won’t be fighting for..a day that won’t be missed..
Bring the morning sun, as to show I’m not too far.. far away from […]
The landscape was dry and dead. The roses that had grown in giant bushels were wilting and grey…the bee’s, once so full of life and sound, were silent and still…as were the other animals. The babbling brook that normally sang its cheerful melody in its beautiful voice had disappeared…leaving behind a trench of much and slime. The grass had turned brown from lack of rain and sunlight. The sky was over cased and dark, not one ray of sun had a hope of peeking through the dense clouds. The air was thick and hard to breath, it felt like it clung to your insides after […]
I don’t know if anyone else experiences this or is it just me. But sometimes there are some grief and emotions that I don’t deal with right away and they just sit around waiting patiently, giving me enough space to function normally for a while. Sometimes they pile up so high I can’t image ever dealing with them. But then one day when you least expect it, it all comes crashing down. The moment you knew was coming but hoped it will never really come. And I just can’t help it. Tears tears tears.. buckets of tears.. a grief so great that it crushes my […]
So I posted before on another account that I would attempt the dehydration suicide method. I said I would check in a hotel on my forth day of drinking and eating nothing. I did but it was on the 6th day. I took some things with me in a backpack like clothes my toothbrush mouthwash moisturizer and my note in a sealed envelope. I was feeling very weak already I had to raise my voice a little because I couldn’t hear myself and no one could, I was just confused the whole time. The people who saw me I guess they thought I’ve always been […]
For the past seven years I have been struggling to get through the day, and I simply cannot do it anymore. With every breath that I take, I am ruining the lives of those that are around me because I am nothing more than a burden. I am a disgrace to the human race. I am a monster. I hurt those that are around me, and I ruin everything that I touch. I am a failure in every sense of the word, and nothing I ever do will ever be good enough for anyone. I have been nothing but […]
The weight on your chest never ends.
He is the beginning,
He is the weight,
Physically crushing,
The pain follows,
Heavier than he was.
The black hole in your chest,
Ripping your insides apart.
The cuts are the closer,
The release and the cause simultaneously,
The blood runs,
You get one true breath in,
The weight returns
You know its not the end,
Tomorrow he will be there.
He will find you.
The weight will never end
It’s here again, and I need a friend.
Times are tough, this life is rough.
Darkness here, nothing is clear.
Live on I will, despite this life.
Hope is gone, though I carry on.
Despite depression, I’ve learned a lesson.
This too shall pass, it will not get me.
There’s a fight in us, few will see.
Even on life’s darkest paths,
The light of hope will come and find us at last.
Depression is a swirling river, hope is a rickety bridge.
One small nail holds it in place.
We will wipe these tears off our face,
Let’s take this bridge together and find our happy place.
The sun will shine, I will go on.
Someday I truly hope […]
Everything was kind of okay now it’s turning all to shit I relapsed again and I just can’t breath.
There is a monster in my mind
He comes out when I’m alone
He tells me that happiness is a lie
And death’s a better home
He shows me all the hurt
I put my family through
Every mistake I made
He says “Its all on you”
He has never spoke a lie
He tells me how it is
He says that if I would die
I would no longer be his
The monster in my mind
Controls my every […]
So I’ve been trying for so long, but literally every breath I take hurts. Every time I see him smile at another girl it kills me. Every time I see my ex-best friends laughing and smiling, I catch my breath and I want to crawl into fetal position and cry. I miss them so much, and they all knew my darkest secrets. They knew just how much they meant to me, and they left me in the fucking dust. I became the girl who never said a word in class because if I did I might just spill my guts to everyone. I went from […]
So there I was. Laying in the cold water in the tub holding my arm. So many cuts, but none of course would have do exactly what I wanted. Yes, I’m talking about me dying. My thoughts on just laying there bleeding out came across my mind a lot. It wasn’t how I wanted it. I wanted to go fast and simple. Never knew how I would do it exactly. As more and more tears ran down my face the sickening feeling I kept getting in my stomach. So I attempted to drown myself, yes it sounds silly. I laid under the water still surprisingly […]
Hope you had a nice day. I on the other hand, I’m suffering from what I think is Klonopin withdrawal. While watching the fireworks I almost passed out and now I feel very short of breath and just… out of it. That’s okay, it’s to be expected, I think.
I think we need a day to celebrate freedom from this illness. If we ever become free.
The song reflects my thoughts about being sent to another dimension – afterlife. Travelling through the vastness of an endless space with nothing but honor in disguise beside me.
Even this late it happens:
the coming of love, the coming of light.
You wake and the candles are lit as if by themselves,
stars gather, dreams pour into your pillows,
sending up warm bouquets of air.
Even this late the bones of the body shine
and tomorrows dust flares into breath.
Everyone stares at me, i can’t breath. put on a smiling face but nothing is real, i feel hollow and empty everyday. I dont know if i can take this lie anymore.
When i was 13 i was raped, i dropped out after that.
nobody knows why i stopped going to school… the depression just got to be too much. i tried to kill myself and thats when my mother stopped pestering me everyday about getting on the bus, then this year… i thought my life got better. my depression wasnt so bad, so i tried to get back in school, they gave me the option to […]