So I’ve been with this guys for almost 2 years. He’s a great guy and we used to be inseparable, but it’s becoming clear that we’re not meant for each other and have nothing in common. However he knows about my depression and my previous suicide attempt so I think that’s the reason he hasn’t broken up with me. I plan to leave the world next week (have surefire method) so I’m debating whether or not I should breakup with him first. Thoughts?
Tag:
broken
I lived in a broken family. Divorced parents, lots of fights, my mom and brother didn’t get a long, never-ending shouting, crying and screaming. I tried not to say a word, to appear strong, to not make things worse. For years since I was in primary school I felt alone and longed for love. I felt broken inside, so broken to the point that I feel numb and empty, I had to cut myself just to feel again. To feel anything, to remind me that I can feel pain, and I’m still living. The blood trickling down my skin to the bathroom floor somehow calms […]
Life has been on the skids for some time, but I always gave what mother called”good face”. I had a name, a good reputation, a person people asked advice or leaned on for support. Recently my significant other and i were arguing, (been living together for 10 years). She decided to try some Tough Love and kick me out. She hoped this would shock me into listening to her, and doing what she wanted, and then I would be told I could stay. She called my elderly father, who drove over and proceeded to convince him I was mentally ill and had emotional problems. Meanwhile […]
So fucking broken… I quit.. I’m done… Everything I do I fuck up.. I fail.. Everything’s always a lie… Nothing feels right… All hope is gone… I’m a wreck I can not go on…. Help me out of this hell I’m too weak to reach out.. I guess just lay me down.. I’m ready… I’m not afraid to sleep forever …..
I’m just super lonely this Christmas and need a shoulder to cry on…..to vent……I’m 18, turn 19 in 5 days, I basically have no friends or family……I’ve attempted suicided many times and have suffered with depression most of my life. I’m miserable. I’ve tried to keep my sanity and make myself better- recently, I drove my new car out in front of a semi……I miraculously lived, tore my car to hell….I just wanted to die and didn’t care how selfish I was being involving a random person. It eats at me and I regret it, but I’m angry that I didn’t die. The bashing from […]
Happy birthday to the most beautiful and unique person I’ve ever met, I really love you, you know I’ll give everything for you, I want you to be happy and be fine. I know your heart is broken but I swear I can fix it if you let me try. I can try to make you happy. I love you so much. I swear. I wish I had the courage to tell you all this instead of writing it down where you can’t read it. You’re such a beautiful pain that I crave everyday. Even tho I know I’m broken I know that love can […]
Is this all my life will be: broken dreams, loneliness, pain and fear. I once had such high hopes, now I’m an embarrassment, I’m worthless trash.
All I want is to hold you, to love you, to protect you, it’s all Angela, my angel. You screwed me, you used me, now I’ve fallen apart, if only I’d known you’d do that, but I was caught up in love. Feel broken, death now awaits, do you even care, your life was all that mattered. You treated me like you were ashamed of me, you were ashamed, that’s clear, such damaged you caused me, such a worthless […]
This is my 3 rd time on this site. I look back at my posts and they are about my ex.
You broke my heart and I hadn’t wept any tears just feeling, movement and thoughts. Today I finally cried it had emotion, pain and anger the 3 things you need for a successful cry. You broke my heart and the worst thing is, is how we still talk after all that. My hand is still broken, the pain of the tear in my skin or is it the bulge I have on my middle fingers knuckle? No I didn’t hit her. I walked away and […]
I wish I could go back 11 years a go and be 5 years old again. I use just to play and not have any problems and in that time if I cries the reason will be my doll is broken or I was playing and I fall down even school we use to learn how to color and cut a picture and all our friends in 5 years old were the true because they were still young and they are not wild. we use to be scared of darkness and monsters but when we grew up when you there are many things that […]
I remember the day I found out I could actively take my life. It was the first time I realized I could die. It was freshman year. Two kids died that year. I knew them both fairly well. I guess that’s when it all really started. I knew I wasn’t like everyone else, but it seemed okay. I thought I would grow out of it. I didn’t.
I remember the day my life changed forever. I found my birthfather, or rather he found me. I made the mistake of meeting him. I remember shortly after my adopted dad found out he had a daughter much older […]
Turn around and go home. Home, indeed, but not the traditional home as most people think, i.e. your literal home. This thing is broken. Turn around and go home. To nonexistence. Indeed, nonexistence would be a beautiful state to be in, if, in fact, you could even consider it a state of being. How do you even define nonexistence? No feeling, at all (mentally). No sounds. No colors, though I already know what that’s like. Nothing to smell, or taste, or touch. In fact, would perceiving the perception that you don’t experience any of […]
the prophet of lost causes, the broken, andthe drunks, bukowski n his apostles
by cathy arsis
written by cathy arsis
when i think of heaven, deliver me in a black winged bird….i think of dying
lay me down in a field of flame and heather,
render up my body into the burning heart of god
in the belly of a black winged bird- Adam duritz
in the beginingwas the myth. God, in his search for self expression, invested the souls of
hindus, greeks, and germans with poetic shapes and continues to invest each childs soul with poetry every day.-hesse, Peter camenzind
“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can’t readily accept the God formula, the big answers don’t […]
Life is just not what everyone else makes it out to be. I can have a nice home, a decent job and people around me…. But I am never happy or satisfied. Meds bring 2 or 3 short months of false contentedness. Then its gone.
Maybe I should explain my whole story:
I was born to pretty young parents, had 2 younger brothers. My home always seemed tense, and that lead to a divorce when I was 6. We went to live wih my mom; she soon found a new boyfriend who was an abusive, angry person. He drank, would explode in rage and beat up […]
The holidays are coming up and I’ve never felt more alone more empty more sad. The memories hurt the most now. I have dreams about it and I wake up with this fresh pain and its torture. It was just a dream right, but it’s also my new reality. It sucks I want to cut myself just make one good slice into my skin reopen the scars to distract from these memories that keep resurfacing. I get that life is better off now than it ever was I get that I was living a painful lie. That doesn’t change that it hurts that my heart […]
Maybe one day I’ll find people in my life who will stay… promises that are constantly made to me by people i get close to are always broken no matter how much they swear up and down saying that they will always be there for me. Maybe in another life that’ll be true…
You can see me down in that place where I try so hard to wave..my arms burdened by gravity holding them to my face.. so heavy and so hot..believe me or not it’s my fate. The next step I take means too much to take and so I’ve stood still waiting for my will again.
Repair these broken hands.. what is there left to grip? Repair this broken man for the sake of broken lips. Come apart to let you in and hold me down to fix.
Put me back the way I was and I’ll just fall apart again. Reconstruct this broken heart […]
I’ll be honest, I only found this website because of a research paper I’m doing of a local community issue for my university English 111 class. I picked ‘suicide prevention’ as my topic because that was the one I know the most about. I might just be an average joe but I feel like I can relate to some on here. Though it feels like my situation was nothing compared to you guys.
I was born in Bellevue, Nebraska on the Air Force Base with a “disability.” I wouldn’t really call it one but it doesn’t enable me to do certain things. I was born with […]
I don’t really know how to start but I figured I would make a last text before I leave this place.
Well anyway, I am 24 years old. Adopted at 5 years old from another country. I don’t know my birth parents and never will. Life is too much to bare, really. I wish I was one of thoes people with simple problems wishing I was dead because of girls or relationship problems blablabla, but at this point I really need to die before I hurt anybody other than myself. I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. And not just “I’m sad” depression, […]
“With This Knife”
I let myself fall into a lie
I let my walls come down
I let myself smile and feel alive
I let my walls come down
No matter how i try i don’t know why
You push so far away
You wrapped your hands tight around my heart
And squeezed it full of pain
With this knife i’ll cut out the part of me
The part that cares for you
With this knife i’ll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you
I can’t believe the way you took me down
I never saw the pain
Coming in a million […]