I just don’t know where to turn anymore. I’ve had tons of problems my whole life, like anxiety, depression, alcoholism. My mother recently had a massive stroke in November of last year, and hasn’t recovered. And a little over a month after that, I lost my only brother to pills. I really don’t know what to do. I have never fit in this world, and the one person that always gave me motivation to keep going is now gone. My drinking has gotten completely out of hand, and the idea of getting sober and staying that way, well, scares the hell out of me. My […]
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Brother
Ive felt like killing myself for so long now. I thought I was fine for a little bit but what do ya know…. I’m back. I hate almost everything. No one answers or talks to me. My dad is all the time asking and saying hurtful things “you have any friends son?” “you gay or something?!” “when you gonna get a girl friend?” just things of the sort and it dosnt help at all. My brother used to call me adopted when I was little. I know he was kidding and just being how a lot of big brothers are. But I really wish I […]
So this is my first post and I don’t really know what to get out of this. I am young and some would say attractive. I have a husband, a son, and one on the way….so what is my problem? I feel selfish that I have these thoughts, these feelings. I AM AT A LOSS. I am in this losing battle. I live with my in-laws and many would say that that is my problem. They definitely play an important role in my misery. I have lived here for a year now and I can say that I actually hate them…I hate their voices and when I […]
im not shure and i honestly don’t care if anyone has written anything even remotely similar. my life doesn’t suck. yeah it has its moments. but no. i like my life.
but. im tired. thats all there is to it. there is nothing left for me here. i just feel like i am done here. i need to move on.
i got help for these suicide thoughs. but honestly. nothing worked. in the end of the therapy i pretended to be healthy. but… you cant fix someone when they are already dead inside.
some things are beyond therapy i guess.
im not old. im 18. and appear like everyone […]
I heard my phone. I picked it up and said hello, it was my aunt. She said that my mom and dad died in a car accident. I was lost, I ran to my bedroom and ruind everything, I trashed the place. After that I went to the bath. My tears ran down my cheek. It was a scissor on the sink, so I took it and cut it slowly over my arm. I screamd, I did it over, and over again. Sudently my brother came home.  He went in, in to the bathroom. He saw me. I was just laying there tears in my eyes, […]
well i guess ill start with my story since some of yall on here are new and i havent posted in awhile. when i was little the one man in my life who was supposed to be there for me left { my dad } and told my mom he hoped i died and was born with aids luckly i wasnt i was just born sick then my mom got with another man who i grew to love and called dad they broke up but i still went to his house with my new half sister everyweekend { to keep you unconfussed later i have […]
I joined this community because I was at a loss. I have not been able to find support groups in my area or surrounding area. Since finding this site, I have felt some form of connection with individuals who understand and are struggling too. My story started the day I cut a bit too much and had the gun up to my head.  Then next day, I had been admitted to the hospital for 7 days, and treated for cutting and attempting suicide. The amazing thing since I have been out which has been approximately a month, I wish to God that I would have […]
Yes life can be difficult, I won’t deny that. We do go through our good times and bad times. Ive had depression for 2 years and still trying to heal from it. I used to cut myself, which eventually made me feel worse. I never really had friends that I could talk to, so basically I thought that I was complettely alone. Then I realized that i’m not, because I have people at my church that I can talk to and God. Oh btw i’m 15 and my name is Deana. For the people suffering from depression try to look at all the positive stuff […]
today I feel incredibly weak. I’m trying to get on track by forcing myself to eat and work out and keep busy but today I feel like I’m staring at the finish line, hesitating to cross it.
Work is tedious, there’s too much of it, keeps me overly busy. Leaves me with large gaps of time to think about the idea of working and how stupid it is for me to be doing it considering that I want my life ended.
I think the same thing about my life; why bother, because I don’t want any of this? I don’t want to save my game, but just […]
I am loosing everyone. I lost my best friend since i can remember and now i lost my other best friend. She is pushing me away and i dont know why. i asked her but all she says that she doesnt mean to and that she is not mad and that nothing is wrong but i know something must be happening. Oh fu**ing god, and also my friend that is like my brother since i can remember says that i lied to him, spread rumors, hit him and insulted when i did none of that. sooo whatever i mean what can i do to change […]
I hate your touch
I hate your smellÂ
I hate your walkÂ
I hate the way you talk
I hate your mom
I hate your dad
I hate your brother who assumed I was bad
I hate the lord for making someone like you
I hate him for bring me to you
I hate how you made me love you
I hate how you took my heart away
I hate how you broke it
I hate how you left it
I hate how you never said you were sorry
I hate you for everything you did to me
I hate you for making me hate […]
I’m 16 and currently go to high school. My mother tends to nag on me and yell at me a lot since I enjoy spending my free time playing games. She does not enjoy the way I spend my time and calls me the word “addicted” when I do play. She has a boyfriend that I don’t like…because he moves my possessions without notifying me. And when I questioned him about it today he clearly told me he will respect it only for my mothers sake…I mean why can’t he just apologize to me and say he’s sorry? Now for the issue at school…. I […]
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person.. thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
by niki
written by niki
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
So my brother thought he would sit me down and have a long chat with me about all the mistakes i am making in my life because i obviously don’t see it.
Usually when he starts his criticism rant i just walk off and that’s the end. Except this time all i could do was sit there. I have a broken leg and my crutches were strategically placed away from me. Also how can i walk away on crutches… very slowly and he’d just follow anyway. Plus i was living in HIS house at the time so it’s not like i could go anywhere.
Although i am […]
So I guess I never really considered trying to write out my story anywhere, but maybe getting it all down will help me put it into perspective, help me decide whether or not I can take this, haha.Â
I’m turning 17 this December and my most frequent thought is generally that “I’m so young why is everything already so bad.”
j
I should be out, enjoying life, enjoying myself, going places with my life, planning for post secondary.Â
But nothing is happening, I’m not doing anything. Lack of motivation is a horrible thing isn’t it?
I grew up in Canada, having moved to BC when I was just […]
I guess I’m not quite sure what to do at this point, so I need ur input. I’m 18 years old and ever since 5th grade I’ve wanted to die…or at least I didn’t care to live. In the past few years I’ve been but into a hospital four times due to breakdowns, see I’m stuck in this cycle between life and death and I don’t think itll ever end till th day I die. I’m terrified of existing, and I have several mental Heath problems that have caused me to lose all my friends…I push them away without realizing it, but it’s only […]
I just keep on going, but I’m so very tired of it. My family loves me, my girlfriend loves me, none of them want me to give up and go. But it’s all I can do to just brush my teeth or eat something.
I lost my job a month ago. It was my first real job out of college. It was full-time, paid very well. I was so happy. Elated. I wanted to do my best, and my boss wanted us to be best friends (she said as much). I should have known better. Your boss is not your friend. I confided in her, relied […]
iv been unemployed for 4years plus and my gcse are rubbish and there no chanc of my life improveing iv applyed to go back to collage iam hopeing they take me back. i do jui jitsu to help me stay up but my coach is hardly there and the students are rubbish there no other gyms in my area ether. my brother younger 2 years is a marine and all my family rave on about him and my gf is an A level student and is joinin the raf as a medic she is sucsessful i get 40+ hrs a week of no human contact. […]
Every time you mention something for the future, I can’t help but stare at you for a few seconds too long.
That night where you came home drunk, crying out that you missed Nanna; I’ll never forget how pained you sounded or how tired you looked. And I won’t forget how both my brother and I sat with you, brushing back your hair and whispering to you how much we love you. I’ll remember that because I know it’s how you’ll react once I’m gone, only this time I won’t be the one who opens the door to a sobbing woman looking for her keys. I […]
Yesterday I was drinking again, behaved like an idiot around a girl I was dating a while ago. Had a verbal fight over the telephone with my brother – told him that I was trying to kill myself several times this year. Then I had a talk with a friend and he told that the other people would very sad if I kill myself on the other hand I don’t believe that. I know that my funeral would be attended by a few hundred people but how come I feel like being nothing, I’m terribly lonely, I don’t feel like having a life at all. […]