If so, I’d like to know what it is. Life doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I came here out of desperation. I have nobody to share my feelings with. I am alone. I’m afraid to be close to people because they always hurt me in the end. Or maybe I’m alone because people generally do not want to be around me. “Freak,” they’ll call me, telling me how I am not worth their time. “Tell me, why haven’t you had a boyfriend? Are you lesbian?” They’ll ask me. Outraged, I deny, but they don’t believe me. It isn’t my fault nobody wants me. It isn’t […]
Tag:
Cancer
Okay so i have been through therapy and it made everything worse. I don’t know how to deal with all the voices inside my head telling me what i need to do i am a dyslexic fifteen year old I’m going to be a junior and i don’t want to even see tomorrow. This will be long but i have a lot of reasons i want to disappear.
One is my sister she always puts me down and makes me feel like i don’t belong in the world i wish i could tell here shes a stupid ***** and doesn’t deserve to even see me let alone talk to me.
I […]
Alright im 19 years old. You guys on here think you’ve been threw stuff? My Bio dad abannded me when i was born. Another man Adopted me and called me his. Only for me to find out it really wasnt him who was my dad. Brother died of cancer. I pretty much raised him. I have attempted suicide many times and i believe that it has put me in an inbetween of this and the next life. I look around and everything seems darker. The whole world just angier.
When i began expiermenting with drugs i did many things. Ive done anywhere from pot/DMT/Spice/Coke and about […]
God I was feeling so good yesterday, and now it’s back to not being able to concentrate and having panic attacks non stop.
I’ll start at the beginning. A few months ago, my mum started getting really sick. At first she refused to admit it (she is a very proud person, and I guess I inherited it from her), but she eventually went to the doctor. Over the next couple of months, the doctor (and others he had brought in) couldn’t figure out if it was cancer or something less serious and therefore to this day haven’t diagnosed it. During this time, both my brother and I have […]
people who arent suicidal trying to make you feel better. its pretty annoying. whenever my friends or family is trying to make me feel better, seeing that im in a pretty bad mood they just say something like: oh think of someone who is worse off than you..
I mean, I get it ok? there’s always going to be someone who’s in a worse situation than me. but here’s the thing about when you say that. thinking about all that, the people who are close to me with cancer, starving, hurting….i cant deal with it it just makes me more depressed. also i know they […]
i honestly don’t care whether or not i die. if a car drives towards me. sure, i’ll jump to safety. its natural. and wayyy to messy. i heard that girls end their cycle through pills n shit.. boys do it the messy way, shotguns or roadkill. i don’t care much though. its ok.
i just wished nobody cared. it would have been easier to be me. so. my gran found out im smoking. she started off like god was against me. i ended the conversation with saying: why would god care if i provoke cancer when children starve to death somewhere else.
my life might not seem […]
Hello again –this is my second post and will be my last —this is the last month i will be alive—i can barely walk anymore and being stuck in my appt losing my mind seriously and figuratively.–m.s is a horrible disease-it doesnt kill you persay but for some like me you watch you life die infront of you and your body stops working for you and only provides pain. and you cant even hope to keep your  mind because that goes to–so to me it takes the point away from life when i cannot live it or even remember what has happend what i  did other […]
Where do i even begin? I am 18 years old and i lost the people who pretty much raised me at a young age and developed depression before i had hit the third grade. Then i found out i had cancer, ive been fighting that for almost a year now and ive gone through so many surgeries and dont know what to say about it. But the weight of the sickness and the looming thought of dying and just having peace finally is so enticing i long for it. But then seven months ago i met the most amazing person i k.ow the person thats […]
So i just found out today that my best friends mom, who might as well be my mother, has had to go back to have more chemotherapy done to fight her cancer. She had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction to the therapy.  We almost lost her…
Shes home now thank god. Â But it kills me to see her like this. Â She refuses to go back for any more help. Â She wants to ends her suffering now.
I don’t know what to do.  Life isn’t fair i know, but WTF!
I dont know where to start.  I’ve been trying to deal with my depression for a long time now and no matter what i just cant be happy.  There are a lot of things that have happened to me and my family in the last few years that contribute to my depression.  Suicide is always something that crosses my mind everyday.  And i don’t know if i want to do it or not.
I guess i could start talking about my family and how they contribute to my demise. Â First off theres my brother (i wont use his real name so he will be ‘mike’ for this” mike […]
WHY?
That’s the only question I have for you.
WHY DID YOU DO THIS?
I can’t keep doing this, I don’t understand. Why would you make humans capable of love? It’s a horrid, horrid emotion? I don’t understand what we did to deserve this kind of cruel and unusual punishment. You made us in your own image, right? What, did you just have so much love in your heart that you had to give each and every one of us a bit of it, so that we could feel the pain you’ve felt in having to give up so much for us? Well, I’ll tell you one thing, […]
i dont want anyone to kill themselves. not me nether
like i said in a previous post “i dont belong”
wondering what life would be on the other side. lay down all my burdens. i picked up a knife and i cut my wrist so deeply i ended up in the hospital for 3 days. im now not even aloud to handle a butterknife without supervision so to speak. im not suicidal for god’s sake. im tired. if people would let me. i would leave. if people knew how i feel. they would know what i mean.
its like jogging for miles and stop and you have no […]
So I’m marissa. I’m 14 and my life sucks.
My mom is a workaholic and drinks all the time. I only see her for 5 minutes in the morning and one Saturday a month.
My step- father verbaly and (once) physhicaly abused me. I hate him. He treats his daughter like a princess and makes me do all the chours.
My step-sister is the biggest ***** ever she punches me and she’s only 7! She constantly goes into my room and fucks it up!
September 14, 2012 I lost my aunt to a battle of cancer, melanoma. Life hasn’t been the same since. I cry every night […]
I am 28 years old still living with my parents and I am ready to give up. In fact giving up is something I have become good at over the years. I now have no money and thousands of dollars in debt (never finished college) oh and by the way my mother is an alcoholic and my father has cancer.Our home is also infested with bedbugs and we have 4 dogs that all they do is bark and go to the bathroom all over the house. I have never had my own car I did move our briefly when I was 23 but that didn’t […]
I hate my life.
In school i am bullied.
 And my dad is an Alcoholics, my mom has cancer.Â
My only friend died last year (she was a dog).
 And SO MUCH MORE. It is just so much pain and i have no one to talk to and i have tried to commit suicide two times. But my sister cut me in the act. I just think that if i dont die now it will only get worse. And I would not want that.
I was so depressed last night. Poor me, poor you. Poor fool who thinks your life sucks. Shit, I’m sick of pity. I’m buzzed. I drank a cup of Jack, now I feel good. I can’t help but wonder how long this will last. 10 more shots and I’ll want to die. I have an extra big bottle tonight. Manipulation has always done me so much good. I know my habits, drink and feel good, drink more feel okay, drink too much want to die. I have too much alcohol in the fridge. Way too much alcohol for one man to handle. Blah blah blah. […]
i never thought my life would turn up to be so bad..my father was going through cancer had been with him throughout his treatment..but finally he passed away in january being the eldest in the family everything has come up to me.. I am 23 years old, and my fathers partner in business has been playing dirty tricks with me since my dad is not around. Theres noone to advice me now it has literally come to an extent where i get scared coming to office = i feel so waste feels like i hve nothing left in my life to do i just come […]
some of my friends think I’m getting worse.. i can feel it too… it so hard! why is it have to be hard! ya no body said life would be easy. but i never thought it would be this hard…
my “group” of friends all know what they want to do when they’re older and done high school…. but i have no clue! and ya i know I’m only 14 and i have LOTS of time to figure it out. but do i really? high school goes by so fast… soon i’ll be in grade 12 and still with no idea what to do….
its […]
where do i begin? i don’t even care. i have no one. no purpose. no friends. sure i have pseudo-friends. but not one that would bother be inconvenienced to alter their precious life to help me. so i am alone. perpetually. look, i don’t even bother with capital letters anymore. i don’t expect anyone to even read this so what’s the use anyway? i wish it would end. i haven’t the courage to end things myself. so i just wish for it and cry. i wish i had a real sickness. cancer. something. i almost think at times that then people would notice. but then […]
I met this girl. She is absolutely amazing. But that’s not the point. The point is I realised I was selfish. I realised that suicide wasn’t an option. What I mean is this girl I adored I found out she had cancer. All I could think about was how unfair life was. I cried a couple days just thinking about her. I felt helpless. After finding out how se had no control over her life it made me mad. All I can think about was how could people take life like its nothing. When my friends death was already determined. How could they throw there […]