you know that feeling you get when youre falling asleep, when your limbs are dead and heavy, well that’s me all the time. I couldn’t even get the milk out of the fridge. I’m so desperate inside, like I’m scrambling through all of this heavy darkness inside of me, I cant breathe. my heart is palpitating. I feel physically sick. and keep zoning out for 10 minutes every now and then and have no idea whats going on. councelling is shit, they even said they don’t know how to help. I just don’t know what I need. I cant. I want to, but I mentally […]
Tag:
cant
but i dont know how.
cant bring myself to figure it out.
my total lack of motivation knows no bounds.
sit here. sit here. sit here.
I just cant go on.
I cant feel anything and i dont want to feel anything.
I feel worthless and hopeless.
I have no one to talk to and i dont even know if i want to talk to anyone.
I just cant go on…
i cant sleep. The anxiety and fear of going to school the next day to get bullied keeps me awake. When i do sleep its filled with nightmares of past experiences. and the voices. they’re always there i need help but doctors dont know what to do with me. At this point i feel like giving up.
i had a good maby hour and a half then my brother came back home with his shitty boyfriend on top of that i have to listen to my next door neighbors talk shit to. i felt good for what felt like 2 seconds, and it was nice. i just hope i get this job then all i have to do is save up enough money and move. ill be ok i just have to leave no one cares if i leave i just cant go back to that place whats so ever ill be ok.
I was sucidal, fast forward a few years, ive gotten over it
I thought id let you know a lil’ bit more about me so i told i once felt like killing myself
I was so shocked when you told said
“suicide is wrong, it’s selfish; why cant you be more thoughtful?”
You made me feel as though i chose to be suicidal
& i should be ashamed and punish myself for it
Why cant you understand
I thought you were trustable
I
Thought
You
Were.
haven’t been on here a while, I haven’t been busy I’ve just been confused about everything like I act like nothng is wrong but I’m getting fucked up inside I cant cant even think straight without crying, Like have you ever sat with your friends and just known that you’re the least important friend in the group and you felt like it wouldn’t make a difference if you were there or not…
I am scared. Scared that I will not be enough. That something bad will happen to the ones I love. Scared that cant protect them. That I am a fraud. That I will never be enough.
Scared that I will never be what I want to be, because I am too scared to embrace it.
I have everything I have every wanted, and I am so afraid that the world will take it from me, that I cannot enjoy it.
Fear is ruining my life.
Im back home and instantly i regret not downing half a month’s of sereoquel for the drive back home. Hell even if it didnt kill me im sure it would help satiate the voices that keep bothering me about harmful ideation.
My psych doc wants to increase it but i told him it would hinder me driving, honestly if he was so quick to want to i shouldve just let him. I feel like im doomed for the med life to feel comfortably numb and not unexpectedly lash out due to the wierd messages my brain thinks its receiving. Which is safe for everyone but […]
I have a heart disease since 2012 my life changed since I went to doctor. I love foot ball but he told me that I mustn’t touch a ball anymore or do any sports that exhaust me because I will die so after that I watched my friends do every thing they want except me. I accept that but in 2014 days passes and I cant sleep it was painful my heart very hurting me until now. I completed my high school this year. but my friends hate me they don’t say but they don’t want me to go out with them and when I […]
I have a heart disease since 2012 my life changed since I went to doctor. I love foot ball but he told me that I mustn’t touch a ball anymore or do any sports that exhaust me because I will die so after that I watched my friends do every thing they want except me. I accept that but in 2014 days passes and I cant sleep it was painful my heart very hurting me until now. I completed my high school this year. but my friends hate me they don’t say but they don’t want me to go out with them and when I […]
thats it. im done!!!! i fucked up. im a fuck up. the voices wont be quiet. ive completly lost my mind. i appreciate everyone on here who was supportive and freindly to me. i just cant do it anymoere.
…lots of bullshit cant trust my girlfriend shell see this probably as she often posts on here she hurts me when i trust her i care about her so much ive always tried my hardest i dont understand how she can take advantage of me im slowly losing what friends I still have, struggle is becoming more stressing always tired can’t think clearly always radical thoughts even for my standards I hope I make it through this year to reach my road to glory this is just a prologue to the true great story
the scars that you see
they are all made by me
and my tears have turn red
with the blood that ive shed
people think im lost to the madness
but really im just cloaked in sadness
i could use a rope or i could use a knife
i see the pain and i see the hurt
i feel my heart begin to burst
why cant they see
that my life
ive been afraid of
me
49 yo and want to end my miserable existence. I just can’t cope anymore with this depression, and Ptsd. It has eaten me alive and destroyed any hope that I had. I have everything planed out, and with urges getting stronger every day, I don’t think it will be to long before I follow through. It breaks my heart knowing the pain I will cause those near and dear to me, but alive I am hurting them just as much if not more.
im so numb cant feel anything other then the warm tears i cry.
don’t be surprised when one day you cant wake me up.
Hi.. I Have 3 Cats Named
Darth Vader ~ A Fat/Plump Black Male Cat ( Nutired ( Means it cant mate ) its A A Breed I Dont Remember.
MilkyWay~ A Brown Tabby Cat In Love With Milk :3 He Is Very Nice! He Likes My Collie Too Coco
Milk~ A White FEMALE Cat! Blind But In Love With MilkyWay 😀 She Is A Turkish Angora .
All Of Them Are Nice And Mean Sometimes All These Kids Come To My Yard And Pet Them One Got Bitten O,o
I Gave Him A Bandage And He Ran Away Calling Me Crazy. …………… Welp […]
have you ever felt like you don’t know what’s going on anymore? Like you dot care about anything anymore. You’ve lost your motivations to do anything. You are confused about your feelings, and you cant explain how you feel. You have that feeling o emptiness, and the feeling that no one understands you anymore. And it seems like there’s nothing to look forward to anymore.
Yeah, I get these feelings too.
tired of being one. I wwant to avoid it but cant. and im so alone. If any of you people have someone in your life, like you have children or a fiancée , or bf/gf you guys are so lucky. you shouldn’t even be here, I hate you. if you cant see who ur with. im alone in this world and have no one to live with. ive had it, im tired of feeling misunderstood and lonely. im diseased no one is going to want me and its my fault. why keep living on my own? im so tired. I always think of cutting deep […]