When you’re just sitting enjoying yourself then suddenly stop and pause then your whole mood changes and it’s kinda hard to breathe and it feels like your insides are crying…
Tag:
changes
It feels like my chest is caving in. I can hardly breathe. Moving is difficult too. There’s this…disconnect…happening between my soul and body.
My soul needs to cry and release some of this emotion but my body refuses to allow it. My soul scratches at the doors to leave my body and yet, nothing changes. How do you escape your own body? The scratches from within are beginning to show. Random marks are showing on my body. I don’t recall scratching myself or bumping into things.
I can feel my soul trying to die but my body just isn’t responding. The stress of school, work, the anniversary […]
Mostly blue and sometimes red a nebula with green nerves that won’t stop moving walking through three feet of snow because the stone wall is so important then its just a fallen tree and the birds won’t sing and the coyote has died and the deer aren’t sure what to do my hands are warm I keep looking in the water but it is so black so infinite and I’m so small I could never touch every stalk in the field it’s so gold and pretty and then my heart changes colors every pulse and we think rivers of blood are red but they are […]
I think last year was probably the worst year of my life. Although in retrospect maybe that was a good thing, since it forced me to make some changes in my thinking and perception and personal philosophy that ultimately have led to a much more satisfying and content existence. Sometimes its only when things get to their worst and a situation becomes intolerable that you actually find the motivation to make changes. A couple years ago I came to the realization that I was pretty much bored with everything and that I didn’t really care about anything. I took this boredom and apathy and convinced […]
I have had some rough days and nights. One night I came to my limit! I was worn out, exhausted at dealing with all my depression, anxiety, fears, anger…etc by MYSELF! I called my crisis line and got a guy that when I talk to him, I do not feel comfort. I decide, as he answers, I will tell him I only needed to tell someone how sad I was, how worn out I was and that was all. He goes into a speech trying to give me advice and I tell him, I am not looking for advice, I just want to share that feeling so […]
Nothing gets better. It just changes. Yesterdays bloody wound is tomorrows festering infection. Nothing heals. Distractions fade and reality comes crushing down. It never ends.
It’s interesting how much human sorrow derives just from not having someone to love. Love, such a small word yet so powerful. It changes who we are from the core to the surface. Love is the trigger for every human emotion you can think of; happiness, sadness, rage, confusion. Love can make you feel all those things.
Reading through these stories I notice almost all of them have a common denominator; love. A good percentage of the people here just want someone to love that loves them back. Goes without saying, a little love can save a life. Humans, such simple creatures after all. Much […]
I’m sorry you are going through a really hard time right now. I read what you say about your father and then, about how you are a bad guy. Can you see how your dad started that feeling and it is not your true self? We all do things that make us a “bad guy” of life. But in reality those bad things mean we were behaving badly and NOT that we are a bad guy. Please hear me when I say the fact you don’t like how you’ve acted is the start of a better Alek.
I hear your sorrow for being so sad and […]
I don’t know if anybody is going to read this, I don’t know how this works, but I hope it helps me…
I’ve been having a lot of problems at home, with my dad being mad at my mom and I, barely acknowledging that we live there too. There is just too much tension and I just can not take it anymore. So I decided to give my father a reality check, something that will show him the consequences of his actions. He either changes for good (I hope), or I’ll learn he never loved me.
I decided to sacrifice my life.
I hope my decision doesn’t sound selfish, […]
Wow,who would have thought that i would survive.I can’t believe im still here.Somehow,time flies and i just got used to the fact that I have to live because my death would only bring problems to others.So i am here,alive some would say.I don’t know how to feel about it,but everyone should try .Maybe in a year or two something changes.Give it a try,give a chance to yourself.And if anyone needs to talk im here,no matter when.
If I had a dollar for everytime I have heard someone use that phrase (in reference to anyone, not just me), I would be a millionaire. It is difficult to even dream of getting more “help” when you have taken every medication available for anxiety and depression and talked to a variety of counselors only to have it all blow up in your face. The medication made me put on fifty pounds (which took almost two years to lose) and the last counselor I was seeing told me word for word that I was a selfish coward for even considering suicide. Years later, all of that wasted time, effort and […]
Do you set yourself a literal “deadline” by which you’ll go through with it if nothing changes?
I’ll give it two more years, till I turn 27. I think it’s a good time. Looking forward to seeing Avengers 3 & Star Wars Ep 7.
If we weren’t created by God or some other third party creator, Humanity is essentially the result of a bunch of genetic changes gone haywire, which resulted in most likely unwanted mutations (evolution). In short, humanity is one giant genetic cluster*****.
So if we just “got here”, then life technically doesn’t have a purpose, so life is technically meaningless.
That being said, we are here now, so we may as well do something. Who cares about making a mark on the world. I’m just going to do what I’ve always done: “Suck eternally!”
Less than a year ago I decided to end my life the other day. I haven’t had a plan and haven’t thought about it much, or at least, seriously. But that day I woke up and felt ready. Finally.
I was supposed to go to my psychologist that day, but I was so frustrated to the fact that nothing changes. I’m still depressed. How exactly is it gonna help me talk about it?
I was on the bus on my way to the clinic and planned my little escape. I always carry with me enough pills to overdose. I call it ‘my suicide kit’. You know, for […]
With every step forward I use to think it was a step away, and in a way it was. A step into the future, not a better future but a future none the less. It’s funny but when the past is dark and you start to make moves into the future, you can believe the future to be brighter, or that the darkness is the past. It’s amazing how easy it is to make yourself believe something, all you need is the desire to believe it, belief in something doesn’t make it true but it offers comfort to believe that the future holds more than […]
Maybe no one cares, and i really wouldn’t blame you.
its not like i have some sad story, a problem people can pitty me with. no.. i have never seen some of the troubles alot of other people have.
but its not pitty that i want either. more of a understanding from the people around. an explanation for why i always wear long sleeves, even in 100 degree weather.
why i NEVER want to hang out, because i dont have the motivation, and would rather be in my room sleeping all day.
I want to tell my mom so bad, but every time i bring up the subjects she […]
I’m back, again. Most of you don’t remember me. It’s been 2 years since I last posted. Time has not been easy on me. I have a lot of changes, big changes coming up in my life in the next couple of weeks. Already, I have gone through several big ones, like losing many friends and my therapist, who were the only people I had to support me. Now I’m down to one friend that is constantly there for me, though he has major problems of his own. I feel like I’m losing every single thing that means something to me in my life.
My 18th […]
A love
I wish I could handle well so that my smile could be real
I am sorry but I want to have a contract which lasts forever
If you are the one, if you were the one
This tablet does not do to me at all today
I will take one more to see if everything changes
If you were the one
Attention please attention pleaaaaaassszzzu
You know that, you know who I love
My mask is not old, I can still use it
Everything is for you
Hi guys how we all doing 🙂
learned something quite interesting and i thought i would share it with you all.
Prolonged exposure to suicidal thoughts & feelings creates a biochemical reaction in your brain that changes the very way you think, and we don’t even realise its happening. example if you were like me once filled with powerful empathy and heart shattering emotions but now feel quite distant and empty thats the reason. So make it quick and don’t turn into a zombie is probably the lesson here.
Mindblowing, but not literally unfortunately.
Bye 🙂
Sorry this is somewhat long-ish, but I really need help with this?
So, I was going to make an appointment with my doctor sometime this month because I actually want to find out what exactly is wrong with me. Whether I need to been diagnosed with anything else. If I actually have something serious with me. The whole shebang. Because my mood is up and down constantly throughout the day, and no it’s not “just being a teenager”.
I mean, today in my Geography I was in tears walking to the room, and refused to speak to anyone for fifteen minutes. (I’d already had a breakdown in the […]