I only come to this website when I’m feeling down
and that’s ok because I know it will pass eventually
but it also sucks because I know that it will also come back like always.
It’s just a bummer to be doing something and then have the horrible thoughts come into your head. You don’t want them there but they stick around anyway, making everything miserable.
Anyway, that’s all.
I hope you all have a good day, stick in there you guys.
63 and still the thoughts come back. Defective. Quit trying to fight it. I look back and see things I’ve done that I didn’t do right. Spent 6 yrs feeling like I could believe the “you are OK; you are a great mom/wife/friend” Only to come back full circle to this. Fucked up person. No one can I share this with because they either try to tell me I’m wrong or I risk having them really see what a loser I am.
Is it inevitable and why do some fail and never think of ending it? I want to run somewhere because I need to think; […]
When you feel alone.
Those are the moments when your demons take over your mind.
In those moments suicidal thoughts start circling around your head.
Trying to trick you into playing the game.
A game that once you start playing you won’t be able to quit.
And the only way you’ll get out is being dead.
Because in the end that’s what the demons want from you.
To die and never come back.
Because if we come back they will haunt us again and again nonstop.
Because they want to get rid of us.
After all, that’s what demons do for a living.
Through the system
Into this music
The last-space
If I fall, then I go
Through the vast of the world
But what do I do
Do I really want to go to that
I fucked-up and I need to come back
But how, thrown like a Goat
Zodiac, can I, find, hurled through the planet
Santa, is coming for me
Nobody knows, nobody
I’m all the way out
What is the way out
Armitage is nowhere in sight
Android 16, blow me up, to safety
Where we are, where we at
Thinking through a step
What is the Ultron
What is the Avengers
Horn and […]
I’ve suffered from depression a lot in my life. In the late 1990’s, approaching 40 years old, I fell into a deep depression my wife later said I should have been hospitalized for. I was overweight, had left my job and sold our home hoping to follow my dreams. I was (and still am) married with 3 of my 5 children still at home. The 2 oldest had started college.
The money I made from selling our home began dwindling away. I didn’t have a concrete plan or goal as to what I wanted to do but just a vague idea. I ended up moving my […]
Seriously, I wrote this as a kid, don’t judge it too harshly, hopefully it’ll distract you guys from your worries for a bit.
You know how it is, when there’s someone who wants to be your friend but you don’t want to be theirs, and you can’t ever tell them you don’t like them because it would hurt their feelings. So every time you see them you say hi and talk but you never really hang out with them one on one. They might suggest it, but you always have some excuse, you hang out with them in a group if at all.
Michael was like that […]
I hope this doesn’t happen to anyone here (unless you’re an abusive troll of course). I was banned from two chatrooms and this forum. I was manic and somewhat obnoxious at the time, however others misbehaved too and deliberately stirred shit for me with a loved one. I’m sure they’re still happily included in the respective groupings.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not bitter about it. I would just like to highlight for people the fact that many people with mental illnesses use these forums. Being banned or outcasted from a suicide forum could have quite a damaging effect on that person. Human beings yearn to […]
I just can’t go on like this. Every breath hurts when I know I will never see her ever again. And yet every second of every day I long to be with her. Even if it is just one last time. I just want to see her beautiful face once again smile at me the way she used to when she loved me.
I know she doesn’t love me anymore. I cry for hours and hours every single day. I still love her with all my heart, no matter the pain she has caused me. She’s my entire life. Without her I have nothing left. My […]
I Fucking hate you. I really do. Because I can’t tell you what goes on in my head. I can’t. If I told you that I can picture myself painting the most beautiful mural I’ve ever seen as I splatter someone’s brain across a wall, youd never speak to me again. Youd never see me the same. If I told you that I love you in the same breath, you would fucking hate me. But it’s only natural to hate a sociopath. […]
Distance
From the voices I’ve heard
Some are never coming back
Some can’t come back
Did I know you
Or is this just a terrible dream
My hand reaches into the dark
Something moves away
I am alone again
The choice was not mine
Where is that safe place
Prescriptions can’t take me there anymore
Again I’ve muddied the carpet with tears
The solemn song moves up my spine
The paralysis is permanent
I will die never having touched your face
My ex boyfriend and I broke up 9 months ago, it feels like it happened just last week. How easily he could move on, just left me there waiting for him. He wasn’t man enough to tell me he had found someone else, instead he led me on thinking that we were still on a “break”… Having to find the truth out myself was so heart wrenching, would not ever comprehend why he could not be upfront about it. Months and months pass and he will come back looking for a friendship not knowing i was still in love with him, having to see him […]
I went from cruising around looking for that 1 and only 1 chance to arise just to come back to the same ghetto, the same situation, the same apt., the same chair, the same thing on the table.
So instead, i pick up this cell phone that ive come to HATE just as much as I HATE MYSELF!
The only difference is…there isnt ANYONE else to HATE ME! There isnt ANYONE else that would ANGERLY-HAPPILY wanna throw me up against the wall AS MUCH AS I WANNA THROW THIS PHONE, and watch ME EXPLODE INTO A THOUSAND PIECES just to fall on the floor… completely and utterly […]
I have occasional voices in my head and they tell me i have till i’m 27 to live, i know i’m a bit mental, anybody else? I’m not massively suicidal but it’s when the voices come back it starts
Some of you may know me, others.. be thankful you don’t.
This is the first of 3 post I’ll write. Then I think it’ll be time;
Like waiting on the storm to pass..
Like waiting for the go ahead to breath again..
but my breathe rest solely on you now.
So now I wait. Frozen in time.
Time no longer exists.
The fate hangs in the balance.
What will be will be.
How do you convince someone..
ask someone… “Please, do not go into the light, rather,
come back, into the darkness..”
You don’t. You cant…. but I will.
I beg you, come back into the darkness.
Here […]
Does anyone else have conversations with people who are long gone?
I mean, I’m doing it all the time now. I’m not even thinking up the other side of the conversation in my head, it just comes out, reply after reply after reply to ghosts. To an outsider listening to me, they’d assume I was just on the phone.
I’ve had different variations of the last fight I ever had with him. Versions where I was on the defensive, versions where I attacked… Why did I have to stay silent when it really mattered?
If I’d spoken up when you asked me to leave and not come back, […]
I’m depressed and it’s been awhile since its been like this. I gave up cutting 3 weeks ago I just want to do it I need it I really do need it. I keep having dreams of me commiting suicide so the thoughts of that has come back. It’s not that I feel like I have to kill myself not the feeling I used to but the possibility that its the only way to stop this cycle of depression anxiety depression then okay for a while the again and again. I have some one and a moderately good future to look forward too. I just […]
i’m back i needed to come back and iv said it all before but fuck it no one is going to read this any way
i have no friends (minor problem)
i have a girl friend but the relationship is crashing (i can live with out her but its the trying to save it cos i love her bit that is killing me)
i’m watching people win everyday when i lose i walk in to rooms and its like i’m not there (witch in some cases is a blessing) i miss some one who i should of let go of by now, i spend my days sitting in […]
the last time I posted on here was when I was 16. Really thought I wouldn’t have to come back
It’s weird, man
But I know, more than enough
You know what I mean
Sherry came to my house, yesterday
Christians, with her elder Asian friend
While I was resuscitating my, prayers
Like a climax, just in my zone of an unknown
So I open the door and it was just strange
At the end of the conversation, she asked if she could come back
And I was like, “Na, I’m just, too far away”
Seemingly disappointed quickly leaves
If they just knew the rendered, that they don’t know
Don’t come to my sacred, house, when I’m dying like that
But hey, I know the […]
Last-bowl, last-song
I don’t want to come back
Train-wrecked the best of the year
Genie, what are you
Everyone disappears
The eternal is a curse that is a suffering, pain
I’m Sasuke, I’m going to die until I’m never coming back
But I have all lost, a ruin of physiological agony
I curse at my hell