Tag:

comfort

Have a New Year

by nozmoking 12/31/2014

written by nozmoking

I can’t quite bring myself to include the word “happy” although I wish I could. At least that is my sincere wish for all of you. But I know there is much pain and suffering, and these things make no distinction regarding new years, new days, hours or seconds.

As we do pass this sort of chronological demarcation, I genuinely hope that each of you can find the one hug, one smile, one friend or just one touch from another that makes a difference for you. If but one person finds a few moments of comfort it’s worth all the effort put forth to find it. […]

12/31/2014 6 comments

???

by HereticBlood 12/29/2014

written by HereticBlood

Not sure how to make since of anything.. Between hearing seeing and feeling things I’m unsure are real or not or the strange thoughts and being afraid of it all.. The other day it was pouring rain and the wind shield wipers were on high the water quickly beading and dripping down again all I could see was blood… I wished for it and hoped for it … I’m so tired of holding this feeling in.. Some ppl say it’s all a lie some just think I’m crazy but why? Why is that what I thought of ? Because of the long addiction I had/have […]

12/29/2014 3 comments

Fooling Everybody

by No12run2 12/11/2014

written by No12run2

but myself. I can pretend like I enjoy this existence again but I am exhausted doing it. I went out with my grandmother yesterday and she bought groceries. She was happy to see that some since of normality has come back. It has not and she acts like she doesn’t notice. I am really the walking dead. Not as clever as I once were. The dark has always been comforting and this is my comfort zone. Suicide project. I am not holding out for miracles, much more logical than that. I am expecting the darkness to come again, My body has gotten adjusted to it […]

12/11/2014 4 comments

The shoe’s on the other foot

by Stereotype 12/3/2014

written by Stereotype

My friend was found incoherent – little response, I don’t know anything further yet. I have been having these really dark premonitions about her killing herself. I hope she doesn’t die. I can’t do anything, I am powerless. I just texted her silly pictures and thoughts of her as often as I thought she could tolerate over the past several months. I was so afraid that she was mad at me because I used to be the one so depressed and cutting and so ill. I haven’t felt so depressed and cutting for several months. I don’t know how to treat her… I want to […]

12/3/2014 5 comments

I’m Comfortable With Sadness

by Lovebug4142 12/2/2014

written by Lovebug4142

I’m comfortable with sadness. I wonder if my life will always be like this. I wear sadness like I wear a shirt, always with me. I want to be happy, but happy is unfamiliar. How is it that sadness has become my comfort, my home? If I reach out my hands, happiness is just in reach. But I cling to the darkness because it is familiar. I don’t think I deserve to be happy. Its like when I personally take 2 steps forward my home life knocks me back10 steps. So I’m back to the beginning again, back to feeling worthless and stupid and ugly.

12/2/2014 1 comment

afraid and alone

by Stereotype 11/7/2014

written by Stereotype

I am scared of everything and my only comfort is the comfort of idealizing suicide and yearning to cut and burn myself. I am afraid of an obligation I must fulfill tomorrow and I want to cut up my body so bad. If I cut I know it will be instant relief… BUT then I have to keep cutting. It’s a sick addiction – and I ain’t no spring chicken, I am a practiced and experienced cutter of 18years. I promised myself last month on my 31st birthday that my 30’s would be free of that kind of coping mechanism. My therapist is going to […]

11/7/2014 4 comments

Control

by hangingonbyathread 10/28/2014

written by hangingonbyathread

i always have this plan in the back of my head. a way out when things get too much. i have attempted in the past (tomorrow is my one year out of the psych ward! which is a huge accomplishment because i cannot tell you when the last time i made it a full year without some sort of admission). my plan is simple. find a favorite spot on a beautiful sunny cool day. find a bench or a place on the grass. drink the water bottle that i would have previously opened capsules of meds and dissolved in the water. and fade away in […]

10/28/2014 0 comment

Honestly, Darling.

by tctc 8/24/2014

written by tctc

If you don’t wish to talk to me anymore or have any means of communication with me, you could just tell me straight.
I don’t wish to be kept in the dark, even if the truth hurts…

There is no comfort in the truth anyway.

8/24/2014 1 comment

Fighting a relapse.

by Rey 7/19/2014

written by Rey

Hi.

This is my first post. I should probably introduce myself.

I am a 21 year old girl living in New Zealand. I first began to notice a dip in my mood when I was 12-13 but understandably at that age I couldn’t quite get what the feelings were a symptom of. I constantly hit what I thought was rock bottom only to find myself continuing to slide down. I spend years battling it, as well as an accompanying eating disorder, and finally recovered fully in 2013.

I decided to leave home in order to continue my recovery journey. I have been living on my own for the […]

7/19/2014 7 comments

Good way to go

by NoNameNeeded 7/7/2014

written by NoNameNeeded

I’m ready. But I’m not in a rush. It’ll probably be soon, though.

I’ll buy a pack of cigarettes that day. I’ll smoke a few and drink some old bourbon when I get home and set up what I need to. Just like the good old days. When I start to get sleepy, that’s when I can go.

No guilt. No stress. No second thoughts. My way. My terms. My comfort.

7/7/2014 11 comments

Relapse

by XxWhyxX 6/1/2014

written by XxWhyxX

Recovery is horrible….. I managed to get myself trapped in a downward spiral towards hell. During this spiral, I let myself become a monster, a monster who found relief in a razor and comfort in rushing blood, more than human contact. My cravings are a battle. Everywhere I look I see failure and relapse, sharp edges and broken skin…. I find myself thinking back to the nights I would stain my hands crimson and tear my soul apart, piece by piece. Sometimes I catch myself running my hands over the bands of purple covering my thighs and arms, remembering exactly how it felt to […]

6/1/2014 1 comment

We can be lonely without being alone

by LetItGo 5/29/2014

written by LetItGo

We can be lonely without being alone
Because we yearn for a comfort that
Can gives us the satisfaction that we need

We can be lonely without being alone
Because even though we are surrounded
By love and comfort; in the end it is not what we want

We can be lonely without being alone
Because friends will try to love us
But we only want a certain kind of love

We can be lonely without being alone
Because some love that people give us
Is not the love we want to receive

We can be lonely without being alone
Because sometimes we need one person
But that person […]

5/29/2014 0 comment

Discussions

by FordPrefect42 5/26/2014

written by FordPrefect42

Does anyone happen to know of a forum or chat site where we can discuss methods openly? I’m trying to figure out a way that’ll be relativelyÂ painless and not cause much of a mess. I’d like very much to go out in the comfort of my own home but without ruining the upholstery, and if it looks accidental then so much the better 🙂

5/26/2014 0 comment

What’s wrong with me?

by Alesana 5/26/2014

written by Alesana

I admit I don’t have the greatest life. My mom is the shittiest person alive, no one actually cares about me they just pretend they do then treat me like shit, I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever been close to, I’ve been through abuse of every kind, I have a lot of health issues, I have extreme anxiety and depression, and I’ve never been given any reason to like myself so I don’t. But there are definitely people out there who have it worse than I do. So why do I always feel like I want to die… nothing can really make me happy anymore and […]

5/26/2014 1 comment

What is wrong with the people on this site?

by lawrencenewman 5/18/2014

written by lawrencenewman

Why are people here so lacking compassion, and so illogical too? Â They don’t seem to understand the importance of questioning people who’re suicidal. Â It appears to me like many on here actually want people to commit suicide. Â I’m very disappointed, as I thought this site would be a comfort to me.

5/18/2014 20 comments

A debilitating depression

by black_rose17 5/13/2014

written by black_rose17

I feel like I’m constantly lying to prevent anyone knowing how I really feel. I feel like a failure and don’t know how to start again. I wish I used my past opportunities better, but this horrible depression feels so debilitating that I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. No one knows I want to kill myself. Suicide, Â it’s always in the back of my mind like a comfort, that if things get worse I can always get out of this life. My life has become that trivial to me now, that the thought of dying is a comfort.

5/13/2014 8 comments

by skeletonsInthecloset 5/2/2014

written by skeletonsInthecloset

the other night I was crying

and thinking about dying

I grabbed my knife and felt the familiar sting from my addiction to cutting.

i laid back and I felt dizzy. probably from the blood I lost.

looked down at my arms and legs and wondered who could love a girl like me.

then my beautiful little cat snuggled up against my cut up arm gently. put her paw against them and laid there until I stopped crying. like she knew what was going on. like she knew I needed any kind of comfort in that moment.

maybe if my cat can still love me there’s hope for people to.

5/2/2014 1 comment

Angel

by candyapple 4/26/2014

written by candyapple

i’ve decided that this is the song i want to sleep forever to 🙂

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in […]

4/26/2014 4 comments

breaking down in public

by ravanys 4/10/2014

written by ravanys

I’m afraid I fucked up again.
I was out partying the other day and everything was going really well. I was having fun with a friend I made in the bus (I was on an trip in Italy with school) IÂ genuinely was having fun which is rare as it is.
Than all of a sudden she mentions that someone she knew someone who committed suicide that day almost a year ago. I tried to comfort her but just ended up breaking down myself and needing her comfort. aka I sat there crying for about an hour on her shoulder for everybody to see.

Obviously I told […]

4/10/2014 1 comment

Spending…

by k2fraser 4/3/2014

written by k2fraser

I’ve just realized I have a pretty big spending problem. It’s like I’m living pay check to pay check. I’m not sure why I’m doing it though.

Probably just buying some comfort for an hour that ends up making me feel like shit after.

I’ve been doing it quite often it seems. What is happening to me? Some sort of impulse behaviour to calm me? Trying to hold onto hope? Something more primal?

I don’t know. But I gotta stop. Bills need to be paid. Though maybe it’s been a hindrance to getting better? Or preventative measures to avoid getting worse.

4/3/2014 2 comments

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